Ariane Chavasse: They're very odd people, you know. When they're young, they have their teeth straightened, their tonsils taken out and gallons of vitamins pumped into them. Something happens to their insides! They become immunized, mechanized, air-conditioned and hydromatic. I'm not even sure whether he has a heart.
Michel: What is he? A creature from outer space?
Ariane Chavasse: No. He's an American.
Ariane Chavasse: Working on a new case?
Claude Chavasse: A client from Brussels. His wife ran away to Paris with the chauffeur. I have to find them; the husband wants his car back.
Claude Chavasse: [voiceover] This is the city - Paris, France. It is just like any other big city - London, New York, Tokyo - except for two little things. In Paris, people eat better. And in Paris, people make love - well, perhaps not better, but certainly more often. They do it any time, any place. On the left bank, on the right bank, and in between! They do it by day, and they do it by night. The butcher, the baker, and the friendly undertaker. They do it in motion, they do it sitting absolutely still. Poodles do it. Tourists do it. Generals do it. Once in a while even existentialists do it. There is young love, and old love. Married love, and innocent love. That is where I come in. My name is Claude Chavasse. I am what you would call a private eye.
Ariane Chavasse: Papa, you are a cynic!
Claude Chavasse: I guess I am.
Ariane Chavasse: You enjoy your work!
Claude Chavasse: I guess I do.
Ariane Chavasse: You'd enjoyed it even if you weren't paid for it!
Claude Chavasse: I wouldn't go that far.
Monsieur X: Please, monsieur, is the news good or bad?
Claude Chavasse: That depends. Is this your wife?
[Hands over a photograph]
Monsieur X: It looks like her.
Claude Chavasse: Then I regret to inform you that it looks bad.
Monsieur X: Then there IS another man!
Claude Chavasse: There is. And I regret to say that he looks good.
Frank Flannagan: What does he export and what does he import?
Ariane Chavasse: Oh, he uh - he exports perfume and imports bananas. There's a fortune in it. Do you realize that for one bottle of perfume you get twelve bananas?
Frank Flannagan: Twelve bananas for one bottle of - doesn't sound like such a hot deal to me.
Ariane Chavasse: It's a tiny bottle of perfume and very large bananas.
Ariane Chavasse: You know who I am, Mr. Flannagan, I'm the girl in the afternoon.
Ariane Chavasse: I see nothing has changed...
Frank Flannagan: Of course not! Once you've got a winning combination, why mess around with it?
Frank Flannagan: Everything about you is perfect.
Ariane Chavasse: I'm too thin! And my ears stick out, and my teeth are crooked and my neck's much too long.
Frank Flannagan: Maybe so, but I love the way it all hangs together.
Frank Flannagan: Goodbye, thin girl.
Ariane Chavasse: Goodbye, Mr. Flannagan.
Frank Flannagan: You promised.
Ariane Chavasse: You don't have to worry about me, Mr. Flannagan. There've been so many men before. There'll be so many after this. It's gonna be another one of those crazy years. While you're in Cannes, I'll be in Brussels with the banker. He wants to give me a Mercedes Benz, a blue one, it's my favorite color. And while you're in Athens, I'll be with the duke again in Scotland. But, I don't know whether I'll go yet, because another man's asked me to spend the summer with him in Deauville. He owns race horses. He's very rich. He's number twenty. I mean number twenty one, you're number twenty. So, you see Mr. Flannagan, I'll be perfectly all right. I'll... I'll be all right... I'll be all right!
police chief: Madam, it would take all of the police and military and even the Boy Scouts to investigate these incidents. Certainly madam does not want boys in short pants breaking in on situations like this!
Frank Flannagan: [on knowing about his numerous conquests] Aren't you a little too young for that?
Ariane Chavasse: I was about to ask you a similar question. Aren't you a little too old for that?
Frank Flannagan: That hurts! First you save a man's life, then you stab him. Is that kind?
Ariane Chavasse: I'm against violence. In my opinion, there's too much shooting in the world, and not enough love.
Frank Flannagan: How's that, again?
Ariane Chavasse: I mean, if people loved each other more, they'd shoot each other less!
Claude Chavasse: This is a great honor. Come right in, Mr. Flannagan.
Frank Flannagan: You know me?
Claude Chavasse: Do I know you? Does an art student know Picasso?
Claude Chavasse: [voiceover] On Monday, August 24th of this year, the case of Frank Flannagan and Ariane Chavasse came up before the superior judge in Cannes. They are now married, serving a life sentence in New York, state of New York, USA.