6.3/10
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6 user 1 critic

Don't Go Near the Water (1957)

Approved | | Adventure, Comedy, Romance | December 1957 (USA)
On a small South Pacific island during WW2, various US Navy P.R. personnel pass the time romancing the nurses and the native girls while trying to avoid front line Sea Duty.

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Nominated for 2 Golden Globes. Another 1 win & 4 nominations. See more awards »
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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
Lt. J.G. Max Siegel
...
Melora Alba
...
Adam Garrett
...
Lt. Alice Tomlen
...
Gordon Ripwell
...
Lt. Cmdr. Clinton T. Nash
...
Deborah Aldrich
...
Ens. Tyson
...
Lt. Ross Pendleton
...
Farragut Jones
...
Adm. Junius Boatwright
...
Mr. Alba - Melora's Father
...
Janie
Jack Straw ...
Lt. Cmdr. Gladstone
Robert Nichols ...
Lt. Cmdr. Hereford
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Storyline

On a small island in the South Pacific, the Navy's P.R. department is spending WWII without getting near a ship. Lt. Max Siegal is the Second in command to a clueless Commanding Officer who believes Sea Duty to be the worst punishment he can give one of his men. Siegal has to keep the foreign correspondents happy, keep his Commander out of trouble and figure out a way for one of the enlisted sailors to date the lady Lieutenant of his dreams - all while convincing a certain island schoolteacher that he's the man for her. Written by April M. Cheek <Aravis2713@aol.com>

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

The hilarious best-seller is even funnier on the screen! See more »


Certificate:

Approved | See all certifications »
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Details

Country:

Language:

Release Date:

December 1957 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

Geh nicht zu nah ans Wasser  »

Box Office

Budget:

$2,495,000 (estimated)
 »

Company Credits

Production Co:

 »
Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

(Westrex Recording System)| (Perspecta Sound)

Color:

(Metrocolor)

Aspect Ratio:

2.35 : 1
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Did You Know?

Goofs

When Ensign Tyson (Russ Tamblyn)first proclaims he's an ensign, he is clearly wearing silver bars, the insignia of a lieutenant, junior grade. An ensign wears gold bars--known familiarly as "chocolate bars." See more »

Quotes

Lt. Alice Tomlen: Good evening, lieutenant.
Lt. Ross Pendleton: Hey, you look ravishing! What's that perfume?
Janie: [butting in] Carbolic acid. She just scrubbed the operating room.
Lt. Alice Tomlen: [chuckles] Janie's incurably romantic.
See more »

Connections

Referenced in What's My Line?: Episode dated 17 November 1957 (1957) See more »

Soundtracks

Anchors Aweigh
(uncredited)
Music by Charles A. Zimmerman and lyrics by Alfred Hart Miles
Heard as a theme
See more »

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User Reviews

 
Episodic Island Comedy
31 December 2013 | by (Los Angeles) – See all my reviews

On a picturesque South Pacific island, during World War II, a US Navy base handles public relations. Unmarried star lieutenant Glenn Ford (as Max Siegel) takes visiting congressmen on a tour. Beautiful native schoolteacher Gia Scala (as Melora Alba) catches his eye. Enlisted sailor Earl Holliman (as Adam Garrett) likes the way pretty perfumed Anne Francis (as Alice Tomlen) "crosses her legs." Laidback young Russ Tamblyn (as Tyson) doesn't like washing teen-spirited sheets for war reporter Keenan Wynn (as Gordon Ripwell). Comic commander Fred Clark (as Clinton "Marblehead" Nash) is in charge. If you stick around, you'll see head-turning Eva Gabor (as Deborah "Debbie" Aldrich and foul-mouthed Mickey Shaughnessy (as Farragut Jones)...

The all-star cast is likable. However, the juvenile romances, snickering innuendo and silly slapstick don't mix well. Best part is a very funny episode involving Mr. Shaughnessy reputedly using what is politely called "The F-word," but you have to wade through much tediousness to get there. The title "Don't Go Near the Water" refers to the fact that the characters play on dry land – well, until we see Ms. Gabor's lacy black underwear. This was based on a novel, which suggests there might have been a more interesting story somewhere. Although Glenn Ford was then too big a movie star to do it, this would have made a fine half-hour situation comedy starring Mr. Ford, Mr. Clark and Mr. Tamblyn, who provide a solid anchor and cover their demographics.

***** Don't Go Near the Water (11/14/57) Charles Walters ~ Glenn Ford, Fred Clark, Russ Tamblyn, Earl Holliman


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