J.J. Fate: [about Donald] He wouldn't think about going over Niagara Falls in a barrel, but this particular maneuver is called: "Falling Down Stairs." There are many ways of doing this if you aren't careful. The "Bumps-a-daisy Half Twist"...
[Donald sets a TV set down at the top of the stairs, his feet get tangled in the cord and it falls down taking him with it]
J.J. Fate: "Jelly roll"...
[Donald trips and gets wrapped up in the red rug and rolls down the stairs in it]
J.J. Fate: "Catapult High Dive"...
[Donald steps onto a loose stair board and it sends him into the air]
J.J. Fate: "Climbing Mount Everest"...
[Donald carries many, many heavy things upstairs and he falls back down with them]
J.J. Fate: "Riding a Rolly Coaster"!
[Donald slips into a toy wagon and goes down the stairs]
J.J. Fate: Now Mr. Duck doesn't take chances, he's just careless.
[Donald leans against the banister and it breaks sending him down to the first floor]
J.J. Fate: Oh yes! That's one I forgot to mention.
Donald Duck: [angrily] That's the last straw!
[cleans up the house to make it much safer]
Donald Duck: I'm going to work, where it's safe!
J.J. Fate: [Donald's cleaning his shirt next to the hot stove cooking dinner] Cleaning fluid plus stove equals... *a sure-fire method for removing spots*!
[jumps into the bread box as a flaming explosion ensues from Donald's carelessness]
Donald Duck: Everything happens to me! It's fate! That's what it is: fate!
J.J. Fate: Listen to him blame me for his carelessness.
J.J. Fate: Howdy. I'm J.J. Fate, fall guy. My middle name is Jonah, and Jinx is in there, too. Hoodoo fits me like a glove, but Fate's my name to you.
J.J. Fate: You know, accidents don't just happen by themselves. They have to be carelessly planned in advance. So step right up and have an accident. The average home is really a complicated piece of machinery, equipped with all the modern conveniences... for having an accident, if you inisist.
[Donald lights up a pipe in a gas leak; explosion follows]
J.J. Fate: He did.
J.J. Fate: Do you realize that nearly five million people suffered in home accidents last year? And everybody blames me, daggnabit!
J.J. Fate: This is an average neighborhood.
[a house has its roof blown off]
J.J. Fate: These are average homes.
[Another house bursts into flames]
J.J. Fate: Average people live here...
[a man is seen shooting out of a chimney]
J.J. Fate: ... having average accidents.
[a couple more homes explode; a car breaks out a close garage]
J.J. Fate: Because they don't use average intelligence. It's like I said: Don't blame me for your carelessness.