Hollywood or Bust (1956)
Malcolm Smith: Boy, I'm lucky. Do you know when I first found out I was lucky?
Steve Wiley: When?
Malcolm Smith: When I entered the "Send in a Poochy Pup Dog Food jingle for the Poochy Pup Dog Food" jingle contest. You wanna hear how it goes?
Steve Wiley: No, but I will.
[on his jingle]
Malcolm Smith: You like it?
Steve Wiley: I think it'll live forever. Maybe longer!
[his jingle, to the tune of "Rock-a-bye Baby"]
Malcolm Smith: I eat Poochy Pup Dog Food outta the can / It makes me eat my food just like a man / My coat is so glossy, shiny and bright / My master can find me in the middle of the night!
Woman: [to Mr. Bascomb the dog] May I have your autograph, please?
[the dog signs]
Woman: Oh, wonderful! Thank you!
Steve Wiley: [referring to sexy movie star Anita Ekberg] Do I know her? She drives me crazy!
Malcolm Smith: [obviously excited] Me too!
Steve Wiley: She keeps coming to my back door and wants to borrow a couple of cups of sugar...
Malcolm Smith: Sugar? That's nice, yeah!
Steve Wiley: ...a couple eggs...
Steve Wiley: Oh, eggs! Good!
Steve Wiley: I go over to her place - I borrow a grapefruit or two...
Malcolm Smith: [aroused by the metaphor] Oh, that's cute!
Old Lady: [getting into the car] You're a dear sweet young man.
[seeing the dog]
Old Lady: Oh my, does he bite?
Steve Wiley: [laconically] Only me lady.
Steve Wiley: [watching Malcolm blow on the dice] Don't drown 'em - just make snake eyes!
Steve Wiley: [to Malcolm] I'm thinkin' of somethin'. I'm thinkin' of double homicide - one for each of your heads!