We're No Angels (1955)
Joseph: We came here to rob them and that's what we're gonna do - beat their heads in, gouge their eyes out, slash their throats. Soon as we wash the dishes.
Albert: [looking at the Navy officer in full dress whites] I think he looks like a glass of milk.
Albert: What if she knows his handwriting?
Joseph: If you got a beautiful note like this, would you bother comparing signatures?
Albert: No. It'd have to be signed by a girl, though.
Jules: Tell him there's a deadly poisonous snake inside of the cage. Tell him.
Joseph: [Joseph eaves the room. Re-enters a few seconds later]
Jules: You didn't tell him?
Joseph: [after a pause] He knows already.
Albert: I read someplace that when a lady faints, you should loosen her clothing.
Joseph: [Sarcastically] It's that kind of reading that got you into trouble.
Amelie Ducotel: [Speaking of their daughter] Look! Every page of her diary... how much she loves him!
Felix Ducotel: [Befuddled] Hmmm? What? You - you - you read her private thoughts?
Amelie Ducotel: Why do you think I gave her the diary?
[Joseph brings Andre a spiny pineapple on a plate to eat with no utensils]
Andre Trochard: Knife! Fork! How am I supposed to eat that?
Joseph: [matter-of-factly] You eat it like an apple.
[Joseph gives him a look like this is common knowledge]
Felix Ducotel: Don't misunderstand me. It's true that I never liked my cousin, only because he was not likable. He had a number of good points, I'm sure. I just can't think of any.
Albert: [forced out of Isabelle's room by Jules] But you're supposed to when a girl faints!
Jules: Christmas has always been a wonderful time for me. In fact, that's how I got into trouble. I came home and found my wife giving my friend a... present.
Amelie Ducotel: What a shame.
Jules: Oh, it was my fault entirely. I should have written and told her I was coming.
Andre Trochard: [to Isabelle] Your opinion of me has no cash value.
Albert: If crime showed on a man's face, there wouldn't be any mirrors.
Joseph: I'll say one thing about prison. You meet a better class of people.
Felix Ducotel: I'll say one thing for crooks - they give you an honest day's work.
Joseph: That's the way it is, "in the midst of life," et cetera, et cetera, I forget the rest of it.
Joseph: In the immortal words of somebody or other, "Well done, Adolphe."
Joseph: If you don't mind my saying so, Albert, he's got it all over you.
Jules: [after failing to get any of the Ducotels to discover a body] Isn't that always the way? When you have a body you don't want found everybody falls all over it!
Mme. Parole: Murderers are best, I think. They're so polite.
Jules: [on opening the petty cash box] You'll have to forgive me, it's been a while since I've done this
Jules: and I'm used to doing it in the dark.
Joseph: I'm going to buy them their Christmas turkey.
Albert: "Buy"? Do you really mean "buy"?
Joseph: Yes, buy! In the Spirit of Christmas. The hard part's going to be stealing the money to pay for it.
Joseph: [Referring to the Ducotels] People like that - how can you cut their throats?
Albert: [Dryly] It isn't easy.
Felix Ducotel: [to his wife] You know how miserable I get when I'm unhappy.
Jules: [Talking about Joseph] That's his life - selling people things they don't want for more than they can afford to buy.
Amelie Ducotel: I'd like to talk to you if can spare a few minutes.
Joseph: A man sentenced to life can always spare a few minutes.
Jules: [seeing Isabelle for the first time] I have a daughter about her age. She looked like her mother. Lovely woman, her mother. Wish I'd married her.
Jules: [handsome young doctor enters the store, and is spotted by the three convicts] It's predestiny, that's what it is.
Albert: Nah, it's that fellow from the boat.
Amelie Ducotel: Do you really think your cousin would let his nephew marry our daughter?
Felix Ducotel: Why not, my family is just as good as his, in fact it's the same family.
Albert: A man doesn't travel 4000 miles just to prove he's a louse, he could do that in a letter, like I always did.
Jules: It isn't fair. Here we are, three desperate criminals who'll stop at nothing to escape from Devil's Island, and we have to fall in with nice people.
Joseph: You guys act like you don't wanna cut their throats.
Amelie Ducotel: Your rooms are just about ready. We're moving out to the stable.
Andre Trochard: Oh, please, no details. I'm not interested.
Albert: They shouldn't let crooks like that on Devil's Island.
Jules: No, it'll give the place a bad name.
Joseph: Jules, you rush in and tell him before it's too late. Tell him there's a snake in that box.
Jules: He won't believe me. He doesn't like me.
Joseph: Albert, maybe you ought to run in and warn him.
Albert: Why don't we cut cards for it?
Joseph: Good idea. I'll get the cards.
[Long pause as he slowly saunters over to get a deck of cards and returns]
Joseph: Who cuts first?
Joseph: It's true. He died in his sleep.
Felix Ducotel: That was very considerate of him.
Amelie Ducotel: I don't know what to do.
Felix Ducotel: The first thing to do is make sure that he's dead. I don't trust him.
Felix Ducotel: He had a number of good points, I'm sure. I just can't think of any.