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We're No Angels (1955) Poster

Quotes

Joseph: We came here to rob them and that's what we're gonna do - beat their heads in, gouge their eyes out, slash their throats. Soon as we wash the dishes.

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Andre Trochard: Out of my way, you lout!

Albert: [deadpan] You frighten me.

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Albert: [looking at the Navy officer in full dress whites] I think he looks like a glass of milk.

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Albert: What if she knows his handwriting?

Joseph: If you got a beautiful note like this, would you bother comparing signatures?

Albert: No. It'd have to be signed by a girl, though.

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Jules: Tell him there's a deadly poisonous snake inside of the cage. Tell him.

Joseph: [Joseph eaves the room. Re-enters a few seconds later]

Jules: You didn't tell him?

Joseph: [after a pause] He knows already.

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Albert: I read someplace that when a lady faints, you should loosen her clothing.

Joseph: [Sarcastically] It's that kind of reading that got you into trouble.

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Amelie Ducotel: [Speaking of their daughter] Look! Every page of her diary... how much she loves him!

Felix Ducotel: [Befuddled] Hmmm? What? You - you - you read her private thoughts?

Amelie Ducotel: Why do you think I gave her the diary?

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[Joseph brings Andre a spiny pineapple on a plate to eat with no utensils]

Andre Trochard: Knife! Fork! How am I supposed to eat that?

Joseph: [matter-of-factly] You eat it like an apple.

[Joseph gives him a look like this is common knowledge]

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Felix Ducotel: Don't misunderstand me. It's true that I never liked my cousin, only because he was not likable. He had a number of good points, I'm sure. I just can't think of any.

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Albert: [forced out of Isabelle's room by Jules] But you're supposed to when a girl faints!

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Jules: Christmas has always been a wonderful time for me. In fact, that's how I got into trouble. I came home and found my wife giving my friend a... present.

Amelie Ducotel: What a shame.

Jules: Oh, it was my fault entirely. I should have written and told her I was coming.

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Andre Trochard: [to Isabelle] Your opinion of me has no cash value.

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Albert: If crime showed on a man's face, there wouldn't be any mirrors.

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Joseph: I'll say one thing about prison. You meet a better class of people.

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Felix Ducotel: I'll say one thing for crooks - they give you an honest day's work.

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Joseph: That's the way it is, "in the midst of life," et cetera, et cetera, I forget the rest of it.

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Joseph: In the immortal words of somebody or other, "Well done, Adolphe."

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Joseph: If you don't mind my saying so, Albert, he's got it all over you.

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Jules: [after failing to get any of the Ducotels to discover a body] Isn't that always the way? When you have a body you don't want found everybody falls all over it!

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Mme. Parole: Murderers are best, I think. They're so polite.

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Albert: Even the girl herself called us angels.

Joseph: We're no angels.

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Jules: That is a very handsome woman.

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Jules: [on opening the petty cash box] You'll have to forgive me, it's been a while since I've done this

[closes eyes]

Jules: and I'm used to doing it in the dark.

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Joseph: I'm going to buy them their Christmas turkey.

Albert: "Buy"? Do you really mean "buy"?

Joseph: Yes, buy! In the Spirit of Christmas. The hard part's going to be stealing the money to pay for it.

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Joseph: [Referring to the Ducotels] People like that - how can you cut their throats?

Albert: [Dryly] It isn't easy.

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Felix Ducotel: [to his wife] You know how miserable I get when I'm unhappy.

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Jules: [Talking about Joseph] That's his life - selling people things they don't want for more than they can afford to buy.

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Amelie Ducotel: I'd like to talk to you if can spare a few minutes.

Joseph: A man sentenced to life can always spare a few minutes.

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Amelie Ducotel: It's you?

Joseph: How could I be anybody else?

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Albert: Now I've really lost her.

Joseph: You never really had her.

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Felix Ducotel: You look different.

Jules: We are different.

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Jules: [seeing Isabelle for the first time] I have a daughter about her age. She looked like her mother. Lovely woman, her mother. Wish I'd married her.

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Jules: [handsome young doctor enters the store, and is spotted by the three convicts] It's predestiny, that's what it is.

Albert: Nah, it's that fellow from the boat.

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Amelie Ducotel: Do you really think your cousin would let his nephew marry our daughter?

Felix Ducotel: Why not, my family is just as good as his, in fact it's the same family.

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Albert: A man doesn't travel 4000 miles just to prove he's a louse, he could do that in a letter, like I always did.

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Jules: It isn't fair. Here we are, three desperate criminals who'll stop at nothing to escape from Devil's Island, and we have to fall in with nice people.

Joseph: You guys act like you don't wanna cut their throats.

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Amelie Ducotel: Your rooms are just about ready. We're moving out to the stable.

Andre Trochard: Oh, please, no details. I'm not interested.

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Albert: They shouldn't let crooks like that on Devil's Island.

Jules: No, it'll give the place a bad name.

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Andre Trochard: You men are murderers.

Joseph: Not me. I'm a maniac.

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Jules: The defense... rests. How's that for a defense?

Joseph: It reminds me of my lawyer.

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Joseph: Jules, you rush in and tell him before it's too late. Tell him there's a snake in that box.

Jules: He won't believe me. He doesn't like me.

Joseph: Albert, maybe you ought to run in and warn him.

Albert: Why don't we cut cards for it?

Joseph: Good idea. I'll get the cards.

[Long pause as he slowly saunters over to get a deck of cards and returns]

Joseph: Who cuts first?

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Amelie Ducotel: I can't believe it - Andre dead.

Joseph: It happens to everybody.

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Joseph: It's true. He died in his sleep.

Felix Ducotel: That was very considerate of him.

Amelie Ducotel: I don't know what to do.

Felix Ducotel: The first thing to do is make sure that he's dead. I don't trust him.

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Felix Ducotel: He had a number of good points, I'm sure. I just can't think of any.

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Felix Ducotel: You fixed the roof?

Albert: We fixed everything.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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