Albert:
[looking at the Navy officer in full dress whites] I think he looks like a glass of milk.
Share this quote
Albert:
If crime showed on a man's face, there wouldn't be any mirrors.
Share this quote
Joseph:
We came here to rob them and that's what we're gonna do - beat their heads in, gouge their eyes out, slash their throats. Soon as we wash the dishes.
Share this quote
Albert:
What if she knows his handwriting?
Joseph:
If you got a beautiful note like this, would you bother comparing signatures?
Albert:
No. It'd have to be signed by a girl, though.
Share this quote
Jules:
[on opening the petty cash box] You'll have to forgive me, it's been a while since I've done this
[closes eyes]
Jules:
and I'm used to doing it in the dark.
Share this quote
Joseph:
I'm going to buy them their Christmas turkey.
Albert:
"Buy"? Do you really mean "buy"?
Joseph:
Yes, buy! In the Spirit of Christmas. The hard part's going to be stealing the money to pay for it.
Share this quote
Albert:
Tell him there's a deadly poisonous snake inside of the cage. Tell him.
[Joseph eaves the room. Re-enters a few seconds later]
Albert:
You didn't tell him?
Albert:
[after a pause] He knows already.
Share this quote
Joseph:
I'll say one thing about prison. You meet a better class of people.
Share this quote
Jules:
[Talking about Joseph] That's his life - selling people things they don't want for more than they can afford to buy.
Share this quote
Albert:
I read someplace that when a lady faints, you should loosen her clothing.
Joseph:
[Sarcastically] It's that kind of reading that got you into trouble.
Share this quote
Amelie Ducotel:
I'd like to talk to you if can spare a few minutes.
Joseph:
A man sentenced to life can always spare a few minutes.
Share this quote
Amelie Ducotel:
[Speaking of their daughter] Look! Every page of her diary... how much she loves him!
Felix Ducotel:
[Befuddled] Hmmm? What? You - you - you read her private thoughts?
Amelie Ducotel:
Why do you think I gave her the diary?
Share this quote
[Joseph brings Andre a spiny pineapple on a plate to eat with no utensils]
Andre Trochard:
Knife! Fork! How am I supposed to eat that?
Joseph:
[matter-of-factly] You eat it like an apple.
[Joseph gives him a look like this is common knowledge]
Share this quote
Joseph:
That's the way it is, "in the midst of life," et cetera, et cetera, I forget the rest of it.
Share this quote
Felix Ducotel:
Don't misunderstand me. It's true that I never liked my cousin, only because he was not likable. He had a number of good points, I'm sure. I just can't think of any.
Share this quote
Joseph:
In the immortal words of somebody or other, "Well done, Adolphe."
Share this quote
Joseph:
If you don't mind my saying so, Albert, he's got it all over you.
Share this quote