Quotes

Doris: Well, I like that! Without so much as a "kiss my foot" or "have an apple."

Phil Davis: I want you to get married. I want you to have nine children. And if you only spend five minutes a day with each kid, that's forty-five minutes, and I'd at least have time to go out and get a massage or something.

Bob Wallace: You don't expect me to get serious with the kind of characters you and Rita have been throwing at me, do you?

Phil Davis: Well, there've been some nice girls, too, you know.

Bob Wallace: Oh yeah, yeah. Like that nuclear scientist we just met out in the hall.

Phil Davis: All right, they didn't go to college. They didn't go to Smith.

Bob Wallace: Go to Smith? She couldn't even spell it.

Phil Davis: Oh, that's very funny. Ho, ho, ho. The crooner is now becoming the comic.

Bob Wallace: Oh, Phil, when are you gonna learn that girls like that are a dime a dozen?

Phil Davis: Please, don't quote me the price when I haven't got the time.

Phil Davis: Give me one reason, one good reason, why we should spend our last two hours in Florida looking at the sisters of Freckle-Face Haynes, the dog-faced boy.

Bob Wallace: Let's just say we're doing it for a pal in the army, huh?

Phil Davis: Well, it's not good, but it's a reason.

Phil Davis: [to the Haynes sisters] Mr. Wallace was just saying how remarkable it was that Benny Haynes' sisters should have eyes...

Phil Davis: [voice cracks] ... I-I-I mean, blue eyes. That is eyes, uh...

Bob Wallace: Nice out.

Judy Haynes: We're booked for the holidays.

Phil Davis: Vermont, huh?

Judy Haynes: Oh, Vermont should be beautiful this time of the year, with all that snow.

Phil Davis: Yeah, you know something?

Judy Haynes: What?

Phil Davis: Vermont should be beautiful this time of the year, all that snow.

Judy Haynes: That's what I just said.

Phil Davis: We seem to be getting a little mixed up.

Judy Haynes: Maybe it's the music.

Phil Davis: Maybe it isn't only the music.

Phil Davis: How much is "wow"?

Bob Wallace: It's right in between, uh, between "ouch" and "boing".

Phil Davis: Wow!

[General Waverly has told the jeep driver to take the new Commanding General back to Headquarters via "the short cut"]

Joe, Adjutant Captain: [pointing after the departed jeep] That's not the way back to Headquarters!

Gen. Thomas F. Waverly: Joe, YOU know that, and I know that, but, uh, the General doesn't know it. At least he won't for about an hour and a half.

Joe, Adjutant Captain: That sergeant will be a private in the morning.

Gen. Thomas F. Waverly: [wearily] Yes, isn't he lucky.

Phil Davis: Imagine a girl in show business today wanting to settle down and raising a family. It's so refreshing, isn't it?

Bob Wallace: [into his water glass] Pushing, pushing.

Phil Davis: [after performing "Sisters"] Hey, we're a smash. Let's take a bow!

Bob Wallace: You crazy? We'll be takin' a bow down at the jail house. Come on.

Judy Haynes: [about Betty] Mm-mm, but I got a flash for you.

Phil Davis: What?

Judy Haynes: She's a real slow mover.

Phil Davis: Honey, I got a flash right back for ya: she's in there with the champ.

Judy Haynes: [about Betty] Last night, she couldn't sleep; today, she won't eat: she's in love.

Phil Davis: Well, if that's love, somebody goofed.

Ex-Soldier: [attempting to button his uniform pants] Captain, dis things haff shrunked!

Bob Wallace: Well, your appetite hasn't shrunk.

Phil Davis: We like to take care of our friends.

Betty Haynes: We're practically strangers!

Phil Davis: Well... well, we'd like to take care of that, too.

Judy Haynes: But... but you might get yourself in an awful jam. Why should you? I mean, what's in it for you?

Phil Davis: Forty-five minutes all to myself.

Betty Haynes: [singing on the train] I wanna wash my hands, my face, my hair with snow.

Bob Wallace: We ate, and then he ate. We slept, then he slept.

Phil Davis: Yeah, then he woke up and nobody slept for forty-eight hours.

Emma Allen: [Regarding the inn] He sunk everything - his pension, his life savings - EVERYTHING in remodeling this place. Used to be a grist mill and a barn; now it's a Tyrolean haunted house.

Judy Haynes: [after creating her phony engagement with Phil] But, don't you think we ought to... oh... kiss or something?

Phil Davis: [Obviously nervous] Uh... n-n-not until it's absolutely necessary.

Bob Wallace: [to Judy] You outta consider yourself plenty lucky! You might have been stuck with this weirdsmobile for life!

Judy Haynes: Looks like it's absolutely necessary.

[Bob leaves to go make a phone call]

Phil Davis: [sighs] I don't know what he's up to, but he's got that Rodgers and Hammerstein look again.

Betty Haynes: Is that bad?

Phil Davis: Not bad, but always expensive.

[after Bob has found out about Phil and Judy's phony engagement]

Judy Haynes: Well, ib... ib... ib... It's always that she's been kind of a mother hen.

Phil Davis: Yeah, we wanted the mother hen to leave the roost so that the little chick could... Oh, I guess we laid an egg.

Bob Wallace: An egg? Brother, you laid a Vermont volleyball!

Judy Haynes: [to Phil] Well, you're not exactly Superman, but you're awfully available.

Betty Haynes: Look who's talkin' about guilt!

Bob Wallace: What do you mean by that?

Betty Haynes: I mean you shouldn't mix fairy tales with liverwurst and buttermilk.

Bob Wallace: What d'you have for lunch today?

Betty Haynes: I didn't have lunch.

Bob Wallace: Well, maybe you ought to eat some.

Betty Haynes: Why is everybody suddenly so concerned about my eating habits? Why don't people just leave me alone?

Doris: [after Phil and Judy announce their engagement at the party] I sure wish it would happen to me.

Phil Davis: Yeah, I do, too.

Bob Wallace: [to Phil and Judy] You ought to be horsewhipped. First you, and then you, and then you again.

Bob Wallace: We came up here for the snow. Where're you keepin' it?

Emma Allen: Well, we take it in during the day!

[Susan and the General enter the ballroom to find two rows of soldiers forming a path to the stage]

Bob Wallace: [Steping up to the General and saluting] Troops ready for inspection, sir!

Joe, Adjutant Captain: [at his side] Just routine, sir.

Gen. Thomas F. Waverly: ["inspecting the troops" at the inn] I am not satisfied with the conduct of this division. Some of you men are under the impression having been at Anzio entitles you not to wear neckties. Well you're wrong. Neckties will be worn in this area! And look at the rest of your appearance. You're a disgrace to the outfit. You're soft! You're sloppy! You're unruly! You're undisciplined!

[pause]

Gen. Thomas F. Waverly: And I never saw anything look so wonderful in my whole life! Thank you all.

[last lines]

Phil Davis, Bob Wallace, Betty Haynes, Judy Haynes: [singing] ... And may all your Christmases be white. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Phil Davis: Let's face it, Bob. You're a lonely, miserable man.

Bob Wallace: What?

Judy Haynes: [inquiring about the inn] Well, are things really that bad?

Emma Allen: We're using the ski tow to hang the wash on.

Emma Allen: Oh, my word, if I wasn't such a mean old biddy, I'd break right down and cry.

Bob Wallace: [after he learns that Betty and Judy has informed them they're singing in Vermont] It sounds very Vermonty!

[Phil rolls his eyes after Bob discovers that's why they should change their holiday plans]