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(1953)

Quotes

Larry: You know my sister was engaged with a wooden-legged guy.

Sgt. Moe: Yeah?

Larry: She broke it off.

Sgt. Moe: The engagement?

Larry: No, the leg.

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[Shemp is banging his head on the desk as part as his 'thinking' method]

Shemp: I've got it! A terrific headache.

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Sgt. Moe: Quiet, everyone! Genius at work!

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Shemp: Release that guy who stole eleven bottles of whiskey. I know he's guilty, but the DA said we can't make a case out of eleven bottles.

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Sgt. Moe: [answering his phone] Hello! Yeah! Detective bureau, Sergeant Moe speaking. Oh, wait a minute, Clancy. Go ahead. You say there's a dead horse on Ticonderoga Street? How do you spell "Ticonderoga"? Oh, you don't know, either. Well, drag him over to First Street.

[hangs up]

Sgt. Moe: I have to think of everything.

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[accidentally bonking Moe on the head while aiming for a monkey on his desk]

Shemp: Oh, Moe. Moe. I meant to hit the other monkey.

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Slick Chick: How dare you look like someone I hate.

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Shemp: The body of your friend Slug McGurk was found wrapped up in newspapers. Now, I know you can't believe everything you see in the newspapers...

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Sgt. Moe: [answers phone] Detective Bureau! Yes, this is Sergeant Moe!

[more gently]

Sgt. Moe: Oh, hello, dear. Why, of course, dear. Oh, sure, you've got nothin' to worry about. Goodbye, sweetheart.

[hangs up phone]

Sgt. Moe: That was the mayor.

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[Repeated line]

Sgt. Moe: I have to do everything around here!

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Larry: Hey, you forgot something!

[she slaps him in the face]

Larry: That's what you forgot!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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