Lady Beekman: You'll find I mean business!
Dorothy Shaw: Oh, really? Then why are you wearing that hat?
Dorothy Shaw: I like a man who can run faster than I can.
Dorothy Shaw: In bed by nine? That's when life just begins!
[Dorothy is admiring some athletes]
Gus Esmond: Dorothy Shaw. I want you to remember you're supposed to be the chaperone on this trip.
Dorothy Shaw: Now lets get this straight, Gus. The chaperone's job is to see that nobody else has any fun. Nobody chaperone's the chaperone. That's why I'm so right for this job.
Lorelei Lee: Dorothy. Mr. Esmond and I are getting married.
Dorothy Shaw: To each other?
Gus Esmond: Of course to each other. Who else to?
Dorothy Shaw: Well, I don't know about you Gus, but I always figured Lorelei would end up with the Secretary of the Treasury.
Dorothy Shaw: [singing] Bye bye baby. Remember you're my baby when they give you the eye.
Dorothy Shaw: [singing] When love goes wrong, nothing goes right. This one thing, I know.
Lorelei Lee: [singing] When love goes wrong, a man take flight.
Dorothy Shaw: [singing] And women get uppity-oh.
Dorothy Shaw: [singing] I like a beautiful hunk of man. But I'm no physical culture fan. Ain't there anyone here for love?
Henry Spofford III: Hello.
Lorelei Lee: Oh, Mr Spoffard. Would you please give me a hand? I'm sort of stuck!
Henry Spofford III: Are you a burglar?
Lorelei Lee: Heaven's no! The steward locked me in. I was waiting for a friend.
Henry Spofford III: Why didn't you ring for him?
Lorelei Lee: I didn't think of it. Isn't that silly?
Henry Spofford III: If you were a burglar, and I helped you escape...
Lorelei Lee: Please help me before somebody comes along.
Henry Spofford III: I'm thinking.
Henry Spofford III: Hey, look someone's coming.
Lorelei Lee: Oh dear, what'll I do?
Henry Spofford III: Quick! Hold this around your neck tight!
Dorothy Shaw: You know I think you're the only girl in the world who can stand on a stage with a spotlight in her eye and still see a diamond inside a man's pocket.
[Staring at Lorelei and Dorothy]
Evans: Say, suppose the ship hits an iceberg and sinks. Which one of them do you save from drowning?
William J. Stevens: Those girls couldn't drown.
Esmond Sr.: Have you got the nerve to tell me you don't want to marry my son for his money?
Lorelei Lee: It's true.
Esmond Sr.: Then what do you want to marry him for?
Lorelei Lee: I want to marry him for YOUR money.
Lorelei Lee: Don't you know that a man being rich is like a girl being pretty? You wouldn't marry a girl just because she's pretty, but my goodness, doesn't it help?
Lady Beekman: It's a tiara.
Lorelei Lee: You DO wear it on your head. I just LOVE finding new places to wear diamonds.
Dorothy Shaw: Remember, honey, on your wedding day it's All right to say "yes."
Lorelei Lee: [singing] We're just two little girls from Little Rock.
Lorelei Lee: Excuse me, but what is the way to Europe, France?
Dorothy Shaw: Honey, France is IN Europe.
Lorelei Lee: Well, who said it wasn't?
Dorothy Shaw: Well... you wouldn't say you wanted to go to North America, Mexico.
Lorelei Lee: If that's where I wanted to go, I would.
Dorothy Shaw: [to the Ticket Checker in exasperation] The dealer passes.
Lorelei Lee: If you've nothing more to say, then pray, scat!
Lorelei Lee: [Lorelei is holding a tiara] How do you put it around your neck?
Dorothy Shaw: You don't, honey, it goes on your head!
Lorelei Lee: You must think I was born yesterday.
Dorothy Shaw: Well, sometimes there's just no other possible explanation.
[Lorelei is stuck going through the porthole]
Henry Spofford III: All right. I'll help you. I'll help you for two reasons.
Lorelei Lee: Never mind the reasons. Just help me.
Henry Spofford III: The first reason is I'm too young to be sent to jail. The second reason is you got a lot of animal magnetism.
Lorelei Lee: I've been wondering, what is your line, Mr. Malone?
Ernie Malone: My line? My most effective one is to tell a girl she has hair like a tortured midnight, lips like a red couch in an ivory palace that I'm lonely and starved for affection. Then, I generally burst into tears. It seldom works.
Dorothy Shaw: Honey, did it ever occur to you that some people just don't care about money?
Lorelei Lee: Please, we're talking serious here.
Lorelei Lee: [sing] A kiss on the hand may be quite continental, / But diamonds are a girl's best friend. / A kiss may be grand, but it won't pay the rental on your humble flat. / Or help you at the automat. / Men grow cold as girls grow old, and we all lose our charm in the end. / But square-cut or pear-shaped, these rocks won't lost their shape. / Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Lorelei Lee: I always say a kiss on the hand might feel very good, but a diamond tiara lasts forever.
Mr. Esmond Sr.: Say, they told me you were stupid! You don't sound stupid to me!
Lorelei Lee: I can be smart when it's important.
Lorelei Lee: I want you to find happiness and stop having fun.
Lorelei Lee: There was an old man named Sidney... Who drank till he ruined a kidney. It shriveled and shrank, but he drank and he drank... He had his fun doing it, didn't he?
Lorelei Lee: Dorothy, please, a lady never admits her feet hurt.
Dorothy Shaw: For instance, who's the young man who just tried to steal second base?
Ernie Malone: Name is Malone.
Dorothy Shaw: I'm Dorothy, well Mr. Malone...
Ernie Malone: You're the most attractive girl in the room so I came over to tell you, do you mind?
Dorothy Shaw: No, I might as well warn you, flattery will get you anywhere.
Ernie Malone: In that case we haven't got any problems.
Gus Esmond: [trying to have a serious talk with Lorelei, but she is bouncing up and down on the bed] Dear... dear... dear, stop that! It's most distracting.
Olympic athlete: Hi. Remember me?
Lorelei Lee: Yes. You're one of the Olympic athletes.
Olympic athlete: I'm the only 4-letter man on the team.
Lorelei Lee: You should be ashamed to admit it. No, don't say another word. No, don't say another word.
Lorelei Lee: Thank you ever so!
Dorothy Shaw: If we can't empty his pockets between us, then we're not worthy of the name Woman.
Gus Esmond: [as she tries on the diamond ring he's just given her] Is it the right size?
Lorelei Lee: Well, it can never be too big. Do you think that's too small, Dorothy?
Dorothy Shaw: [whistles] Looks like it oughta have a highball around it.
Ernie Malone: What are you girls made of? What was that?
Lorelei Lee: Just equal parts of scotch, vodka, brandy, and gin.
Ernie Malone: [complaining to the steward as he's lead from the girls' room after their "dinner party"] It's just not fair. Two against one. Take a man's pants.
Lady Beekman: You might be interested in my tiara. I always carry it with me. Afraid to leave it in the stateroom.
Dorothy Shaw: And you're not afraid to show it to Lorelei?