- [Bugs is having his eyes tested with an eye chart]
- Optometrist: Now then, I want you to read as much of this chart as you can.
- Bugs Bunny: [reading chart] "A-T-W-R-K-L-N-O-C-W-O-D-R-K-G-S-O-L-T-Y-K-L-O-N-D-C-R-P-L-D, Acme Eye Test Chart, printed by the United States Printing Office, Washington, D.C., Reg. U.S. Pat. Off."
- [the astounded optometrist reads the smallest sections of the chart with a magnifying glass, and discovers that they are exactly the same as what Bugs recited]
- Optometrist: Uh... yeah.
- Bugs Bunny: [rudely awoken by reveille] Why, I'll moider dat bugler!
- [runs off screen with a baseball bat, a smash is heard and Bugs walks away with a broken bat]
- Bugs Bunny: Dat's dat. Now for a nice hot bath.
- [cut to reveal a broken record player]
- Sergeant: What have you got against me, anyways? Why don't you listen to orders? You've got ears just like the other guys.
- [Notices Bugs' long ears; does startled take]
- Sergeant: Well, anyways, you're furry all over and got a fuzzy tail just like all the... Duhee! Jumping catfish! We've inducted a rabbit! Hey, General! Hey, somebody! Hey!
- [last lines]
- Bugs Bunny: [Bugs has a job tapping shells with a hammer to see if they are duds] And just think - in thirty years I can retire!
- Bugs Bunny: What's this? A letter. "B. Bunny." For me! Now where'd that come from? Oh, well.
- [Reads letter]
- Bugs Bunny: "Greetings... The President of the United States..." Hmm, that's nice. "Hereby notified... been selected... training therein... report local board..." Holy cats, I've been drafted!
- Bugs Bunny: Private Bugs Bunny reporting, Your Majesty, sir.
- Sergeant: [sarcastically] Oh, Private Bugs Bunny, eh? Well, I'm Sergeant Porky Pig.
- Colonel: Sergeant!
- [also sarcastically]
- Colonel: And *I* am Colonel Putty Tat. General Tweety Pie was asking about you, Sergeant.