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Pvt. Smiley: When a man is forced by bitter circumstances to drink water, you might have the common decency to turn the other way.

Pvt. Connors: Say, is this really a repeater?
Quartermaster Sergeant: A repeater? Son, you can load this on Sunday and shoot it all week.

Miles Archer: I don't get it. Indians don't like to fight at night.
Grover Johnson, Artist: Why?
Miles Archer: Because if they get killed in the dark it'll always be dark in their happy hunting grounds.

Grover Johnson, Artist: Well, if they had squaws with them, they would hardly be on the warpath, would they?
Miles Archer: Anybody who tells you he can figure Indians - he's lyin'!

Miles Archer: They'll charge again as soon as they pick a new chief.

Pvt. Cullen: All the women west of the Mississippi and we got to wind up with a war chief's bride!

Pvt. Ryan: I was shot at by the whole Confederate army... you think I'm scared of one husband?

Pvt. Cullen: Well, sir, when I get drunk I forget what I do and I steal.
Miles Archer: Uh-huh.
Pvt. Cullen: And when I steal, I want to forget what I did so I get drunk.
Miles Archer: I just get drunk

Pvt. Wilhelm: Yeah; I'll just fill my pipe!
[gets shot by an arrow in the leg]
Pvt. Wilhelm: AAH!

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