The Bob Hope Show (1952– )
Bob: How old are you, Natalie?
Bob: 18. It's hard to believe I'm almost twice your age!
Bob: Three times? Four? Let's not get nasty, huh!
[During an "I Love Lucy" skit, Lucy has smothered Ricky with kisses]
Ricky: The last time you kissed me like that, you wrecked the car, the insurance company cancelled my insurance on everything, and you did my laundry in the whiring mixer!
['Ricky' throws his hat into the wardrobe, only for the sea lion Lucy has hidden inside to throw the hat back out]
Lucy: Oh, close the door! I'm fumigating - we got termites!
Ricky: Yeah, one of 'em must pitch for Cleveland!
Ricky: Why are you fumigating the place? That's the landlord's job!
Lucy: Well, Fred and Ethel are away. I'd just thought I'd help.
Ricky: Oh, you're always helping, like when we went on our honeymoon. You thought we'd be lonesome, so you invited your mother to come along!
Lucy: Well, I was just trying to help!
Ricky: Who were you helping, your father?
Ricky: [picking up a herring from a plate on the table] What is this? What are these Texas anchovies doing here?
Lucy: That's my first dividend. I joined a herring of the month club!
Bob: Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?
Marilyn: Well, I'd love to, Bob, but I'm not sure I can afford it!
Bob: Would you consider going out with a fella a little older than yourself?
Marilyn: Well of course, Bob. Why, do you have a son?