Road to Bali (1952)
[performing for Princess Lala's court as Scottish bagpipers, a humorous homage to her late Scottish father, MacTavish]
Harold Gridley: Say, Haggis!
George Cochran: What is it, MacBaggis?
Harold Gridley: Have you heard the latest about MacTavish?
George Cochran: What's he done now?
Harold Gridley: I heard he's living on the roof!
George Cochran: Why would he be living on the roof?
Harold Gridley: Because he heard someone say, "Drinks are on the house!"
Harold Gridley: He's gonna sing, folks. Now's the time to go out and get the popcorn.
[Harold has been caught in a tree snare, proving the island is inhabited]
George Cochran: I wonder what the locals are like?
Princess Lala: I hope they're not cannibals or headhunters!
Harold Gridley: I hope they're orange pickers, I want to get out of this tree!
George Cochran: Oh, stop squawking, you'll fall off when you're ripe!
[George and Harold are surrounded by beautiful native women. Offstage voice shrieks "A-ough! Oh no!"]
George Cochran: What's that?
Harold Gridley: Oh, that's Errol Flynn. He can't stand it.
[One of the film's many cameos]
Princess Lala: Look!
George Cochran: The African Queen! Humphrey Bogart?
Harold Gridley: Boy, is he lost!
George Cochran: Hey! Hey, Bogie!
[All three run toward Bogart]
Harold Gridley: Hey, jungle fever! That's what we got. That was just a mirage!
George Cochran: Oh yeah? What about this?
[Holding up a trophy]
George Cochran: Humphrey Bogart's Academy Award!
Harold Gridley: An Oscar! Gimme that, you got one. Friends, this is a great occasion, me receiving this Academy Award. And I'd like to say a word...
[roar from offstage]
George Cochran: Run!
Harold Gridley: That's the word!
Ken Arok: You will *love* Vaatu. It is an island paradise.
Harold Gridley: Girls, huh?
Ken Arok: Could it be paradise without girls?
Harold Gridley: Say, I haven't looked for work since I was night watchmen at Vassar
[a college for women only, until 1969]
Princess Lala: Do you always fight over girls?
Harold Gridley: Well, what else can we fight over? We've never had any money
[Looking straight into the camera]
Harold Gridley: That's for Washington!
[a female ape has sat on Harold's lap]
George Cochran: Oh, buster, I don't like the look in her eye!
[the ape swings a paw at George]
Harold Gridley: George, get a rock, a club, anything! Kill one of us!
[George and Princess Lala pull Harold down]
Harold Gridley: This is the sloppiest hanging I ever attended!
Harold Gridley: [Caught in an animal trap and suspended in the air] Get me down! My brain's rushing to my head.
Princess Lala: [showing a portrait of a woman in regal dress] She was my mother, Queen Tama of Vaatu.
George Cochran: Hm, beautiful.
Princess Lala: [indicating the portrait next to it of a man in a kilt] And he was my father.
George Cochran: Didn't anybody in the family wear the pants?
Harold Gridley: [whistles, indicating Lala's headdress with a golden spire] This kid's got her own antenna.
Harold Gridley: Don't fool with the fun flute unless you consult with the master.
Harold Gridley: Gridley, Harold Gridley- sportsman, raconteur, polo player, and all around good egg.
George Cochran: [as he and Harold wander through a flock of sheep] Ya know, for a couple a guys on the lam, we're in pretty good company.