Bruno Anthony: I beg your pardon, but aren't you Guy Haines?
Barbara Morton: I still think it would be wonderful to have a man love you so much he'd kill for you.
Bruno Anthony: How do you do, sir? I'd like to talk with you sometime, sir, and tell you about my idea for harnessing the life force. It'll make atomic power look like the horse and buggy. I'm already developing my faculty for seeing _millions_ of miles. And Senator: can you imagine being able to smell a flower - on the planet Mars? I'd like to have lunch with you someday soon, sir. Tell you more about it.
Senator Morton: Poor unfortunate girl.
Barbara Morton: She was a tramp.
Senator Morton: She was a human being. Let me remind you that even the most unworthy of us has a right to life and the pursuit of happiness.
Barbara Morton: From what I hear she pursued it in all directions.
Bruno Anthony: Don't worry, I'm not going to shoot you, Mr. Haines. It might disturb Mother.
Bruno: My theory is that everyone is a potential murderer.
Barbara Morton: Oh, Daddy doesn't mind a little scandal. He's a senator.
Bruno Anthony: I have a theory that you should do everything before you die.
Guy Haines: I may be old-fashioned, but I thought murder was against the law.
Bruno Anthony: Everyone has somebody that they want to put out of the way. Oh now surely, Madam, you're not going to tell me that there hasn't been a time that you didn't want to dispose of someone. Your husband, for instance?
Senator Morton: You had no trouble, of course, with the police once they verified your alibi?
Guy Haines: When an alibi is full of bourbon, sir, it can't stand up.
Guy Haines: It's pretty late to start flirting with a discarded husband.
Senator Morton: I'll have him called up immediately.
Barbara Morton: Obstructing the wheels of justice, Daddy?
Guy Haines: Doesn't that bloodhound ever relax? He sticks so close he's beginning to grow on me - like a fungus.
Bruno: I have the perfect weapon right here: these two hands.
Bruno Anthony: Criss-cross.
Bruno Anthony: When's the wedding?
Guy Haines: The what?
Bruno Anthony: The wedding. It's in the papers.
Guy Haines: Well, it shouldn't be. Not unless they legalized bigamy overnight.
Bruno Anthony: I admire people who do things.
Mrs. Anthony: Well, I do hope you've forgotten about that silly little plan of yours.
Bruno Anthony: Which one?
Mrs. Anthony: About blowing up the White House.
Bruno Anthony: Oh, Ma, I was only fooling. Besides, what would the President say?
Mrs. Anthony: You're a naughty boy, Bruno.
Barbara Morton: Who's the interesting-looking Frenchman with the Darvilles?
Guy Haines: His name's Antony... he's not French.
Mrs. Cunningham: You know, I read of a case once. I think it would be a wonderful idea! I can take him out in the car, and when we get to a very lonely spot, knock him on the head with a hammer, pour gasoline over him and over the car, and set the whole thing ablaze!
Bruno Anthony: [scowls] And have to walk all the way home? Oh, no.
Mrs. Cunningham: [meek] No? Oh...
Bruno Anthony: No, no. I have the best way, and the best tools.
Bruno Anthony: Simple, silent, and quick - the silent part being the most important. Let me show you what I mean. You don't mind if I borrow your neck for a moment, do you?
Mrs. Cunningham: [simpers] Well... if it's not for long!
Guy Haines: You crazy maniac! Would you please get out of here and leave me alone?
Bruno Anthony: But Guy... I like you.
[offended, Guy punches Bruno in the face]
Anne Morton: How did you get him to do it?
Guy Haines: I get him to do it?
Anne Morton: Bruno Anthony. He killed Miriam, didn't he? It wasn't you, it was him.
Guy Haines: Yes...
Anne Morton: Tell me the truth, how did you get Mr. Anthony to do it?
Guy Haines: I didn't. He's a maniac. I met him three weeks ago on the train to Metcalf. We got to talking and he came up with this crazy idea about swapping murders. He does my murder, I do his.
Anne Morton: What do you mean "your murder"?
Guy Haines: He read all about me in the newspapers and magazines. He knew about me, Miriam, and you. He told me that if he were to get rid of Miriam so I would be free to marry you, I should kill his father so he could be free of him.
Anne Morton: But you should have known that he was only talking nonsense.
Guy Haines: But he wasn't! And now he's after me to see I fulfill my end. Now, a lunatic wants me to kill his father.
Anne Morton: Incredible.
Guy Haines: I know. I wouldn't have given it a second though had I known about what he had planned and done.
Anne Morton: Wait... you mean, you knew about Miriam this whole time?
Guy Haines: Since that very first night. He showed up at my place and gave me her glasses.
Anne Morton: Why didn't you call the police right away? Why didn't you turn Bruno in right then?
Guy Haines: And have the police say to me the exact same thing you just said? "Mr. Haines, how did you get him to do it?" Bruno will tell them that we planned it together... on the train.
Minister: [Last Lines] I beg your pardon, but aren't you Guy Haines?
[Guy and Anne get up and walk away without saying a word to the man]