The Prize Pest (1951)

Mel Blanc: Porky Pig, Daffy Duck, Radio Announcers, Delivery Man

Quotes 

• Daffy Duck : Hmm. Guess I'll have to use my Jekyll and Hyde routine on this wise guy.

  [knocks on door] 

  Porky Pig : Yes?

  Daffy Duck : I'm sorry you did that to me. People shouldn't push me around. It isn't good for me.

  Porky Pig : Oh, f-f-fiddlesticks. And why not?

  Daffy Duck : Because I'm a split personality, that's why not. I'm two people in one. A schiz... a schiz... a schizophreniac. When people are nice to me, I'm sweet, gentle, and loving.

  [Jumps into Porky's arms and starts caressing him, speaks in French accent] 

  Daffy Duck : Ello, baby. Nice, fat, little butterball.

  Porky Pig : Oh, n-n-now stop.

  Daffy Duck : But when some wise guy starts pushing me around, look... out! I turn into a hideous monster.

  [Puts on fake fangs and messes up his hair, then pants and snarls at Porky, who jumps up to the ceiling and hangs on to a chandelier] 

  Daffy Duck : Get the idea, buster?

  Porky Pig : I d-do, I do! Ind-deed I d-d-do! And I'll be r-real nice and k-kind and gentle to you.

• Porky Pig : The d-d-oorbell. Oh, i-it couldn't be the grand prize. He-he-he. I've never won anything in my life.

  Delivery Man : [hands Porky a present]  Well, you have now Here it is, lucky boy. The grand prize. He-he-he-he-he!

  Porky Pig : Oh, f-fortunate, fortunate me. G-golly, I w-wonder what it is?

  Daffy Duck : [pops out of present]  It's a duck, fat stuff! A genuine live duck!

  Porky Pig : A d-d-d-d-duck?

  Daffy Duck : Yes, a d-d-d-duck.

  Porky Pig : G-gee, just what I always wanted, I s-suppose.

• Daffy Duck : Hmm. Not a bad-looking dump, if you got rid of some of this trash.

  [Sees vase on table] 

  Daffy Duck : Yeesh! This monstrosity's got to go.

  [Throws vase out the window] 

  Porky Pig : Here now, y-you stop that!

  Daffy Duck : [Throws chair out window]  This is out.

  Porky Pig : C-cut that out! Stop it!

  Daffy Duck : This junk goes.

  [Throws more stuff out window] 

  Porky Pig : N-n-now you s-s-stop that!

  Daffy Duck : Umm... Yup. That's gotta go.

  [Picks up Porky to throw out the window] 

  Porky Pig : N-now you cut that out! P-p-put me down!

  Daffy Duck : Oh, all right. If you wanna spoil the whole effect.

• Porky Pig : N-now just a minute, you n-nervy old duck. You got outside in the chicken coop where you belong.

  Daffy Duck : Coop, schmoop! I ain't sleeping in no chicken coop. I'm a duck. Have you got a duck coop?

  Porky Pig : Y-yes, I have.

  Daffy Duck : You have?

  Porky Pig : Y-yes.

  Daffy Duck : Oh. Well, is it a convertible coupe? Because I'm a convertible duck.

  [a car top appears in Daffy's back] 

  Daffy Duck : See, chubby?

  [Runs around making car noises] 

• Porky Pig : Oh, t-that treacherous trickster. I'll show him who's a knucklehead. I'll give him a dose of his own m-m-medicine.

  [puts on a hideous Halloween costume] 

  Porky Pig : I hope I look sc-sc-scary enough.

  Daffy Duck : Well, I think I'll go scare some more daylights out of the little butterball.

  [he walks by a door, where Porky in costume walks by; he looks at Porky, thinking it's a mirror] 

  Daffy Duck : Sufferin' catfish. I didn't realize I was that hideous.

  [pause] 

  Daffy Duck : I'm not!

  [Daffy goes to pieces, then reconstructs himself, gets back inside the present and runs screaming out the door] 

  Porky Pig : Gosh, what a scaredy-cat. Anyone who'd be scared of a masquerade costume is a c-craven little coward.

  [Passes by a mirror and sees himself, then jumps out of costume and into chandelier again] 

  Porky Pig : S-so I'm a c-craven little coward.