A Millionaire for Christy (1951)

Richard Carlson: Dr. Roland Cook

Photos 

Quotes 

• Peter Ulysses Lockwood : Who can afford to go crazy at your prices?

  Dr. Roland Cook : You know I plan to open a charity clinic someday.

  Peter Ulysses Lockwood : Oh, sure, someday.

  Dr. Roland Cook : Well, maybe you'd like to pledge a donation.

  Peter Ulysses Lockwood : I'm helping people to happiness every day.

  Dr. Roland Cook : Yes, I heard that blond telling you how wonderful you were.

  Peter Ulysses Lockwood : Listen you, you... horse doctor. I tried to explain to you that the... oh, what's the use.

• Dr. Roland Cook : This whole thing has a decided air of vulgarity about it.

  Peter Ulysses Lockwood : Vulgarity? What do you call those passes you keep making at June?

  Dr. Roland Cook : You took her away from me in the first place. I'll keep trying right up to the altar.

  Peter Ulysses Lockwood : I suppose you'll keep trying after you're just a friend of the family, dawdling my children on your knee.

• Peter Ulysses Lockwood : Oh, no, no, no, it's just a girl.

  Dr. Roland Cook : Yes, I know. They taught us the difference in medical school.

• Peter Ulysses Lockwood : I don't like your attitude much.

  Dr. Roland Cook : My attitude? Isn't it enough that you took June away from me while I was studying in Menninger's?

  Peter Ulysses Lockwood : Well, you didn't study hard enough. That blond was a total stranger and nuttier than a fruitcake. Couldn't you tell that?

  Dr. Roland Cook : Only if she were lying on a couch.

• Peter Ulysses Lockwood : [on phone conversation with Dr. Cook]  Come back, will ya, and bring a straightjacket... I know you've got other patients. Well, I'm not going to bring her all the way to La Jolla.

  Dr. Roland Cook : [on phone with Peter]  I'll expect you in a couple of hours. Oh, and Peter, be very careful. A woman in her condition is not in control of her actions. If she jumps out of your car, you're legally responsible, so... don't let her get away from you. Goodbye!

• Dr. Roland Cook : This young woman - impressionable, overly sensitive. She's actually formed an emotional attachment from listening to you on the radio.

  Peter Ulysses Lockwood : Oh, one of those mash things, huh?

• Christabel 'Christy' Sloane : Oh, this is insane.

  Dr. Roland Cook : That's my racket. Let me do the thinking.

• Dr. Roland Cook : [pulls down a wall chart of a female body]  Now, just where did you kiss her?

  Peter Ulysses Lockwood : Wh... oh, oh, this is ridiculous.

  Dr. Roland Cook : These are clinical questions. Now do you want me to help her or do you want me to go the police, as I should do?

  Peter Ulysses Lockwood : No... I probably kissed her several places.

  Dr. Roland Cook : Mm, hmm. The uh, the nape of the neck, for instance?

  [he points to the neck on the chart] 

  Peter Ulysses Lockwood : I... I... I guess so.

  Dr. Roland Cook : Couldn't be worse.

  Peter Ulysses Lockwood : Couldn't be worse?

  Dr. Roland Cook : In so doing, you caused excessive stimulation to her nerve box, as it is sometimes called.

  [he points to the throat on the chart] 

  Dr. Roland Cook : I'll refrain from using the technical terms.

  Peter Ulysses Lockwood : Thank you.

• Dr. Roland Cook : Then I doubt if you'd have a very happy bride on your hands if this poor creature threw herself off the dock while you sailed away.

  Peter Ulysses Lockwood : Off the dock? All I did was have a few drinks of tequila.

  Dr. Roland Cook : You've got a problem, Junior.

• Dr. Roland Cook : You must realize that the female nervous system is a delicate mechanism.

  Peter Ulysses Lockwood : I can see that.

  Dr. Roland Cook : Did you kiss her fingertips?

  Peter Ulysses Lockwood : Well, why? Did her hand fall off or something?

  Dr. Roland Cook : I'm sorry; I've got to be systematic.

  Peter Ulysses Lockwood : Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to take a cook's tour around the human torso.

• Peter Ulysses Lockwood : Sure. We'll always remain good friends. She was in love with my radio voice, not the real me. Hey! Then why did she say that she hates my program?

  Dr. Roland Cook : Oh, uh conversion hysteria, probably.

  Peter Ulysses Lockwood : What's that?

  Dr. Roland Cook : Nervous condition.

• Peter Ulysses Lockwood : I, uh, I want to apologize for my attitude. I realize that you're putting yourself out to do this.

  Dr. Roland Cook : Yes, but I'm very happy to do it.

• Dr. Roland Cook : Did you have to take advantage of a woman in that condition?

  Peter Ulysses Lockwood : What do you mean?

  Dr. Roland Cook : Your actions last night only served to worsen the original fixations.

  Peter Ulysses Lockwood : Actions? Nothing happened last night.

  Dr. Roland Cook : She told me everything.

  Peter Ulysses Lockwood : What is this, a rib or something?

  Dr. Roland Cook : You brought me a mentally ill woman, and en route you aggravated her condition. Now I've got to file a state report on it.

  Peter Ulysses Lockwood : Report? Look, I, I... had a few drinks of tequila. I might have done a couple of harmless things.

  Dr. Roland Cook : Harmless? I'm afraid I've got to ask you a few personal questions. Sit down!

• Dr. Roland Cook : Do you want a suicide on your soul?

  Peter Ulysses Lockwood : Suicide! No! That'd look great in the papers. I mean you can't do this to June. We're practically on our honeymoon.

• Peter Ulysses Lockwood : Can all this harm come from a little necking?

  Dr. Roland Cook : With a normal woman, no. But with one in her condition... I'm afraid that last night you seriously damaged her ganglia.

  Peter Ulysses Lockwood : Her what?

• Dr. Roland Cook : No. You play ball with me, and I won't tell him that you're a fortune hunter.

  Christabel 'Christy' Sloane : Well, I explained all that.

  Dr. Roland Cook : And now you're forgetting all that. We tell him nothing.

  Christabel 'Christy' Sloane : You mean you're not going to tell him about his two million?

  Dr. Roland Cook : Not until we're good 'n ready.

• Dr. Roland Cook : How do you like that Pete? A totally undeserving character stumbling into two million dollars while, while I have to walk the streets with a tin cup trying to get 10-cent pledges for my clinic. Well, there's just no justice, Miss Sloane. There's no justice in this world. He not only gets my girl, but two million dollars to boot.

• Dr. Roland Cook : Even in school, I was much brighter too.

  Christabel 'Christy' Sloane : Than who?

  Dr. Roland Cook : Peter.

  Christabel 'Christy' Sloane : Oh.

  Dr. Roland Cook : Had a better mind, was a think quinker.

  [sic] 

  Christabel 'Christy' Sloane : Doctor, you're drunk.

• Dr. Roland Cook : You know, this is the first time I've ever had tequila. I like it because it doesn't hit you like those mortoonis do.

  [sic] 

• Dr. Roland Cook : You've got a feeling of rejection. So have I. Can't have my girl. Can't have my clinic. Poor people got a right to go crazy just like anybody else.

  Christabel 'Christy' Sloane : Doctor, there should be more men like you.

• Bar waiter : Excuse me, folks. That's the only bottle of tequila we have left. May I pour a drink from it?

  Christabel 'Christy' Sloane : Who for?

  Bar waiter : [Gestures toward Peter near the fireplace]  For the gentleman back there.

  Dr. Roland Cook : The answer is 'No!' He's got his girl and he's got my girl and he may have two million dollars, but he may not have our tequila.

  Christabel 'Christy' Sloane : What's he ever done for us?

  Bar waiter : I understand. Thank you.

• Dr. Roland Cook : [referring to Peter]  Are you afraid to take the bull by the horns?

  Christabel 'Christy' Sloane : If you don't mind, he's already picked out his... his cow.

  [fiddles with and drops a picture of June]