Merry Mavericks (1951)

Moe Howard: Moe

Quotes 

• Shemp : Hey Moe, I don't like this.

  Larry : Yeah. Suppose that old chief comes back looking for his head.

  Moe : Cut it out. That spook stuff is all a lot of foolishness. What's the matter, you scared?

  Larry : No, just apprehensive.

  Moe : Oh.

  [Moe flinches] 

  Moe : That's a mighty fancy word. What does that "apprehensive" mean?

  Larry : It means you're scared, with a college education.

  Moe : Oh. You're pretty smart.

  Larry : Oh, yeah.

  Moe : [holds out his hand]  What's that?

  Larry : That's a hand.

  Moe : [balls his hand into a fist]  Good. What's that?

  Larry : That's a fist.

  [Moe punches Shemp in the eye] 

  Moe : What was that?

  Larry : A punch in the eye.

  Moe : Right.

  [Moe punches Larry in the eye] 

• Moe : How do you like that? "Wanted for vagrancy".

  Shemp : What's vagrancy?

  Larry : Boy, are you stupid. You take a flower, and it smells real nice, that's vagrancy.

  Shemp : Ha ha. We can beat that rap.

  Moe : You chowderhead. Vagrancy is when you're a hobo or a tramp.

  Shemp : Uh-oh. We can't beat that one.

  Moe : There's only one thing left to do.

  Shemp , Larry : Yes?

  Moe : We gotta pull up stakes...

  Shemp , Larry : Yes?

  Moe : Get out of town...

  Larry : Yes?

  Moe : And go to work.

  Larry : No!

  Shemp : Oh, you said a nasty word.

• Pete : [reading the newspaper]  "Law officers on the way. Famous Marshal and deputies expected soon to clean up town." Hey, boss, we'd better call off that bank job.

  Red Morgan : No, we'll knock that job over before they get here.

  [the Stooges enter; most of the bar patrons stand and leave in fear] 

  Moe : [to Shemp]  I wish you'd get a new face. You scare people.

• Shemp : All right, sister, get going or I'll knock your brains out.

  Moe : Hey, is that a way to talk to a lady?

  [Shemp politely removes his hat] 

  Shemp : All right, sister, get going or I'll knock your brains out.

  Moe : That's better.

• Red Morgan : [Red and Gladys drags Larry into the room where Pete has captured Moe at gunpoint]  Nice work, Pete, where's the other one?

  Pete : I don't know. Maybe Shotgun's got him.

  Red Morgan : That's all right. These boys will tell us what we want to know, won't you, boys?

  Moe : Why should we?

  Red Morgan : [Aims his gun at Moe]  Because we'll fill you full of lead, if you don't. Now, where's the money?

  Moe : I don't know.

  Larry : Wait a minute...

  Moe : We don't know!

  Larry : But, Moe...

  Moe : Shut up! These tin-heart outlaws ain't got the nerve to shoot. If they did kill us, they'd all hang. That would make things even.

  Larry : [Fearfully]  Don't sound very even to me.

  Red Morgan : All right, you guys asked for it. Now you're going to get it.

• Moe : [to one of the bad guys in disguise]  Come on, you're blocking my light.