- Winifred Jones: Do tell. You must show me your gold mine someday.
- Charles Hingleman: If you don't mind going down in a bucket.
- Winifred Jones: How is that again?
- Charles Hingleman: Well, you see, a gold mine having no stairs, you have to be lowered in a bucket.
- Winifred Jones: Like the girl from Nantucket. Excuse me.
- Charles Hingleman: How is that?
- Winifred Jones: Oh, oh... just a poem.
- Train Conductor: You must be that little Indian girl she was bringing with her. You leave mama and papa back home in teepee? How would you like to go with me and see white man's choo-choo, puff-puff engine, huh?
- Conchita: How would you like to go suck an egg?
- Winifred Jones: [At Judge O'Toole's bedside, begging for mercy after accidentally shooting him in the rear end] Look in my eyes your honor...
- Mrs. O'Toole: Don't you do it Alfalfa!
- Winifred Jones: [groveling] Don't listen to her Judge, she's a little bit upset tonight. Think how they'll talk about you when you let me go. They'll say "There's a man with a heart as big as a bull fiddle! Even though he did get shot up a little."
- Judge Alfalfa J. O'Toole: A little! You should feel..
- [reaches painfully for his rear end]
- Winifred Jones: It would of made some men as mad as a bear with a sore paw!
- Judge Alfalfa J. O'Toole: [dryly] It ain't my *paw* that's sore, honey.