Fort Apache (1948)
Lt. Col. Thursday: This Lt. O'Rourke - are you by chance related?
RSM Michael O'Rourke: Not by chance, sir, by blood. He's my son.
Lt. Col. Thursday: I see. How did he happen to get into West Point?
RSM Michael O'Rourke: It happened by presidential appointment, sir
Lt. Col. Thursday: Are you a former officer, O'Rourke?
RSM Michael O'Rourke: During the war, I was a major in the 69th New York regiment... The Irish Brigade, sir.
Lt. Col. Thursday: Still, it's been my impression that presidential appointments were restricted to sons of holders of the Medal of Honor.
RSM Michael O'Rourke: That is my impression, too, sir. Will that be all, sir?
[the sergeants are watching Lt. O'Rourke attempt to drill new recruits]
RSM Michael O'Rourke: How's the boy doing, Festus?
First Sgt. Festus Mulcahy: Aw, he's doin' fine, Michael; but, nevertheless, he's an officer and a gentleman... and that's no job for a gentleman.
RSM Michael O'Rourke: Well, then. Come on.
[he and the sergeants walk over to Lt. O'Rourke]
RSM Michael O'Rourke: Would Lt. O'Rourke please step over to the stables, sir?
Captain Yorke: Lt. O'Rourke, follow me.
2nd Lt. Michael O'Rourke: But, the troop, sir...
Captain Yorke: Don't argue. Mulcahy, take over.
2nd Lt. Michael O'Rourke: Captain Yorke, I refuse...
First Sgt. Festus Mulcahy: Get outta here, ya skirt! Or I'll put ya across me knee and belt the pants off'ya! Get out now!
[O'Rourke rides after Yorke as the troopers start laughing]
First Sgt. Festus Mulcahy: As you were, men!
[Draws his sabre]
[watching the regiment under attack by the Apaches - calls for Lt. O'Rourke]
Captain Yorke: Mickey!
[Lt. O'Rourke rides up]
Captain Yorke: Get to Fort Grant. Tell 'em where we are. Tell 'em we may still be alive if they hurry. Move!
[Lt. O'Rourke rides off]
Captain Yorke: And marry that girl!
Newspaper reporter: [speaking of Col. Thursday] But what of the men who died with him? What of Collingworth and...
Captain Yorke: Collingwood.
Newspaper reporter: Oh, of course, Collingwood.
Reporter: That's the ironic part of it. We always remember the Thursdays, but the others are forgotten.
Captain Yorke: You're wrong there. They aren't forgotten because they haven't died. They're living - right out there.
[points out the window]
Captain Yorke: Collingwood and the rest. And they'll keep on living as long as the regiment lives. The pay is thirteen dollars a month; their diet: beans and hay. Maybe horsemeat before this campaign is over. Fight over cards or rotgut whiskey, but share the last drop in their canteens. The faces may change... the names... but they're there: they're the regiment... the regular army... now and fifty years from now. They're better men than they used to be. Thursday did that. He made it a command to be proud of.
Captain Yorke: A charge! Mounted in fours!
RSM Michael O'Rourke: Why the madman!
Captain Yorke: And I'm to stay with the wagon train... and take O'Rourke with me.
RSM Michael O'Rourke: You'll find Lt. O'Rourke with his troop, sir. And thank you.
First Sgt. Festus Mulcahy: [after Co. Thursday has told the soldiers to destroy the contraband "whiskey"] "Destroy it," he says. Well, boys, we've a man's work ahead of us this day.
[the four soldiers who've come to escort Lt. O'Rourke to the fort have been invited to have a drink by Col. Thursday]
Sgt. Johnny Beaufort: Four bottles of cool beer, Ma.
First Sgt. Festus Mulcahy: And I'll have the same... with a whiskey chaser.
Captain Collingwood: You did what you did... rode to glory. I did what I did... wound up at Fort Apache. Well, you've wound up here, too.
Lt. Col. Thursday: No, by thunder, I've not wound up; not by a jugful! They've pushed me aside, sent me out to this ten-penny post; but they'll not keep me buried. I'll find something.
Captain Collingwood: This isn't a country for glory, Owen.
Lt. Col. Thursday: I'll take my risks. I always have.
Captain Collingwood: Well, then all I can do is wish you good luck; and I wish you that sincerely.
[at Meacham's trading post]
Captain Yorke: No troop or squadron or regiment's gonna keep the Apaches on this reservation unless they want to stay here. Five years ago we made a treaty with Cochise. He and his Chiricahuas and some of the other Apache bands came on the reservation. They wanted to live here in peace... and DID for two years. And then Meacham, here, was sent by the "Indian Ring"...
Silas Meacham: That's a lie! I've been endorsed...
Captain Yorke: The dirtiest, most corrupt political group in our history. And then it began: whiskey but no beef; trinkets instead of blankets; the women degraded; the children sickly; and the men turning into drunken animals. So Cochise did the only thing a decent man could do... he left. Took most of his people and crossed the Rio Bravo into Mexico.
Silas Meacham: He broke his treaty.
Captain Yorke: Yes, rather than stay here and see his nation wiped out.
Silas Meacham: The law is the law and I DEMAND that you soldier boys enforce it!
Lt. Col. Thursday: Any demands you wish to make, you will make through official channels, Mr. Meacham. Do not again employ that word in my presence.
Silas Meacham: No offense, sir, no offense.
[Yorke has ridden in to save the colonel, but Thursday has decided to die with his men rather than face disgrace]
Lt. Col. Thursday: Trouble you for your sabre, Captain.
Captain Yorke: My sabre?
Lt. Col. Thursday: I must rejoin my command.
Captain Yorke: The command is wiped out, sir, and there's nothing we can do about it.
Lt. Col. Thursday: I'm not asking your opinion, Capt. Yorke. When you command this regiment - and you probably will - command it! Your sabre, sir.
[Capt. Yorke hands him his sabre]
Lt. Col. Thursday: Any questions, Captain?
[Capt. Yorke watches as Col. Thursday rides off to rejoin the battle]
Captain Yorke: No questions.
[Philadelphia is visiting in the home of the O'Rourke's - Col. Thursday comes in, displeased]
Lt. Col. Thursday: Come, Phil.
2nd Lt. Michael O'Rourke: Col. Thursday, sir, I would like...
Lt. Col. Thursday: Mr. O'Rourke, I want no words with you at this time.
2nd Lt. Michael O'Rourke: But, Colonel, sir...
Lt. Col. Thursday: You heard me, sir. Now get out of here before I say something I may regret.
RSM Mchael O'Rourke: This is my home, Colonel Owen Thursday. And in my home I will say who is to get out and who is to stay. And I will remind the Colonel that his presence here - uninvited - is contrary to Army regulations... not to mention the code of a well-mannered man!
2nd Lt. Michael O'Rourke: Dad, please. Col. Thursday, sir, what I've been trying to tell you, sir, is that I love your daughter; and I ask her now, in your presence,
[turns to Philadelphia]
2nd Lt. Michael O'Rourke: to be my wife.
Philadelphia Thursday: Yes, Michael.
[the ladies of the fort are watching as the regiment rides out to meet Cochise]
Mrs. Emily Collingwood: [referring to her husband] I can't see him. All I can see is the flags.
[the regiment has arrived near the Apache's encampment]
Lt. Col. Thursday: I propose, Captain Yorke, to deploy the men: two troops to the north, one to the east. You will then converge on the encampment.
Captain Yorke: I wouldn't do that, sir.
Lt. Col. Thursday: I'm not asking your advice, Captain. I'm merely stating.
Captain Yorke: The Apaches, sir, are neither to the north nor the east. Nor are they in their encampment. But if you'da been watching the dust swirls to the south, like most of us, you'd see that they're right there!
[points to the Apaches coming over the rise]
[the regiment is getting ready to attack - Col. Thursday scans the horizon with his binoculars]
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: I don't see them. Not a one.
Captain Yorke: Well, they're down there, sir... among the rocks.
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: Have you seen 'em, Captain?
Captain Yorke: I don't have to - I know.
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: How?
Captain Yorke: 'Cause if I were Cochise, that's where I'd take up position.
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: And that dust cloud beyond?
Captain Yorke: It's an Apache trick. Probably squaws and children draggin' mesquite.
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: [dubious, sarcastically] Very ingenious, Captain. You make me suspect your Cochise has studied under Alexander the Great, or Bonaparte at the least. Gentlemen, march your troops. We'll charge in a column of fours.
Captain Yorke: Mounted in fours? That's suicide, Colonel! I tell you they're down there...
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: Captain Yorke, you're relieved of command of your troop. There's no room in this regiment for a coward.
Captain Yorke: [angrily throws down his glove in front of Col. Thursday] At your service, sir!
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: Bugler, pick up Captain Yorke's gauntlet. I'm no duellist, Captain. I will decide whether I will answer you with pistols or a general court martial. You will remain on the ridge... in safety... with the supply train. Take O'Rourke with you.
[in the storeroom at Meacham's trading post, the soldiers find boxes marked "Bibles" - Col. Thursday tells the men to open them - when they do, they find kegs of whiskey instead]
Sgt. Quincannon: Bibles, sir!
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: [Col. Thursday hands a cup to Sgt. Mulcahy] Sergeant, pour me some scripture.
[Sgt. Mulcahy dips the cup into a keg and hands it to Col. Thursday. He takes a sip and spits it out]
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: What's in this? Brimstone and sulfur?
Silas Meacham: You know what it is and I'm entitled to keep it.
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: Your license may permit you to keep a medicinal store of whiskey, but this is no whiskey.
Silas Meacham: Perhaps you're not used to frontier whiskey.
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: I don't know... I've tasted most everything.
[to Sgt. Mulcahy]
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: Sergeant, you a judge of whiskey?
First Sgt. Festus Mulcahy: [looks around at the others] Uh, well, sir, some people say I am and some say I'm not, sir.
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: [hands him the cup] Tell me what you make of this.
First Sgt. Festus Mulcahy: [takes a drink - makes a face at Meacham - takes another drink] Well, uh, it's better than no whiskey at all, sir.
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: We here have little chance for glory or advancement. While some of our brother officers are leading their well-publicized campaigns against the great Indian nations - the Sioux and the Cheyenne - we are asked to ward off the gnat stings and flea bites of a few cowardly 'digger Indians'.
Captain Yorke: Your pardon, Colonel. You'd hardly call Apaches 'digger Indians', sir.
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: You'd scarcely compare them with the Sioux, Captain.
Captain Yorke: No, I don't. The Sioux once raided into Apache territory. Old-timers told me you could follow their line of retreat by the bones of their dead.
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: I suggest the Apache has deteriorated since then, judging by a few of the specimens I've seen on my way out here.
Captain Yorke: Well, if you saw them, sir, they weren't Apaches.
Lt. Col. Thursday: [steps on scale] What is this scale used for?
Captain Yorke: Weigh government beef, sir.
Lt. Col. Thursday: [adjusts scale] Seems I've gained seventy pounds since I've been in Arizona.
Captain Yorke: Stand by your guns, men. Stand by your guns! Flaherty, you're in charge. I'll be back.
[Rides off alone to aid Lt. Col. Thursday]
Lt. Col. Thursday: You spoke before of a platoon from A Troop, Captain Yorke. I suggest you assemble it. Light marching equipment but full bandoliers. We'll leave in thirty minutes. I will command, you will accompany.
Captain Yorke: You mean we're gonna trail the wagon?
Lt. Col. Thursday: At a striking distance. Collingwood, do you remember the paper that Captain Robert E. Lee wrote when he was at the Point? The one on the the trap as a military weapon. I do not share the popular view of Captain Lee's ability as tactician, but that paper impressed me; particularly the manuever that Genghis Khan employed in the Battle of Ginshan in 1221. Do you recall...
[notices that Capt. Yorke is still present]
Lt. Col. Thursday: Hadn't you better be moving, Captain?
Captain Yorke: Yes, sir.
[starts to leave]
Lt. Col. Thursday: What, no debate this time, Captain?
Captain Yorke: No debate, sir; no questions.
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: Captain Yorke?
Captain Yorke: I'm Captain Yorke, sir. I bid you welcome, General Thursday.
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: I'm not a general, Captain. A man is what he's paid for. I'm paid in the rank of Lt. Colonel.
Captain Yorke: I'd remembered you as a general from the war, sir.
[Yorke and Beaufort enter the dance after returning from their meeting with Cochise]
Captain Yorke: Cochise has crossed the river, sir. He's coming in with all his people; wants to talk peace.
Lt. Col. Thursday: He's returned to American soil?
Captain Yorke: Yes, sir. Now with the Colonel's permission, I'd like to shake some of this Mexican 'dobe dust and get back to the dance.
Lt. Col. Thursday: There'll be no time for that, Captain. The regiment moves out at dawn.
Captain Yorke: The regiment? Cochise says he'll meet with you and me and Meacham. We'll take a small detail and go unarmed. I've arranged a rendezvous this side of the drygoons.
Lt. Col. Thursday: [to RSM O'Rourke] Sergeant-Major, you'll stop the dance. Pass the word to the first sergeants to prepare their troops to march at dawn. Troop commanders will oblige me by meeting at headquarters at once.
Captain Yorke: Colonel, if you send out the regiment Cochise'll think I've tricked him!
Lt. Col. Thursday: Exactly. We have tricked him. Tricked him into returning to American soil and I intend to see that he stays here.
Captain Yorke: Colonel Thursday, I gave my word to Cochise. No man is gonna make a liar out of me, sir.
Lt. Col. Thursday: Your word to a breech-clouted savage? An illiterate, uncivilized murderer and treaty-breaker? There's no question of honor, sir, between an American officer and Cochise.
Captain Yorke: There is to me, sir!
Lt. Col. Thursday: Captain Yorke, you may have commanded your own regiment in the late war; but so long as you command a troop in mine, you will obey my orders.
[Col. Thursday is meeting with Cochise - Beaufort translates from Cochise's spanish into english]
Sgt. Johnny Beaufort: He says, "The Apaches are a great race," sir. "They've never been conquered. But it is not well for a nation to be always at war. The young men die... the women sing sad songs... and the old ones are hungry in the winter. And so I led my people from the hills. And then came this man.
Lt. Col. Thursday: [Cochise speaks more - Beaufort pauses] What did he say?
Sgt. Johnny Beaufort: Well, sir, a free translation would be that "Meacham's a yellow-bellied polecat of dubious antecedents and conjectural progeny." Cochise's words, of course, sir - not mine.
Lt. Col. Thursday: [looks at Meacham] That's a matter of opinion.
Sgt. Johnny Beaufort: [Cochise continues - Beaufort translates] "He is worse than war. He not only killed the men, but the women and the children and the old ones. We looked to the Great White Father for protection. He gave us slow death. We will not return to your reservation while that man
Sgt. Johnny Beaufort: is there or anyone like him. Send him away and we will speak of peace. If you do not send him away, there will be war. And for each one of us that you kill, ten white men will die!
Lt. Col. Thursday: Are you threatening us?
Captain Yorke: Don't interrupt, sir, it's an insult.
Lt. Col. Thursday: I'll not sit here and be threatened. Beaufort... no preliminary nonsense with him... no ceremonial phrasing. Straight from the shoulder as I tell you, do you hear me? They're recalcitrant swine and they must feel it.
Sgt. Johnny Beaufort: He's only speaking the truth, sir.
Lt. Col. Thursday: Is there anyone in this regiment that understands an order when it's given?
Sgt. Johnny Beaufort: What does the Colonel wish me to say, sir?
Lt. Col. Thursday: Tell them I find them without honor.
[Beaufort translates the words to Cochise]
Lt. Col. Thursday: Tell them they're not talking to me, but to the United States government. Tell them that government orders them to return to their reservation. And tell them that if they have not started by dawn, we will attack. Tell 'em that!
[Col. Thursday turns and walks away - Cochise and his group walk away]
[Co. Thursday has rejoined his men who are pinned down by the Apaches. RSM O'Rourke hands him a pistol]
Lt. Col. Thursday: Sergeant-Major O'Rourke... my apologies, sir.
RSM Michael O'Rourke: You can save them, sir, for our grandchildren.
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: Assuming you found Cochise, would he listen to you? Would he believe you?
Captain Yorke: Cochise knows me, sir. I've never lied to him. And if you can assure him decent treatment for his people...
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: I'll confess he interests me. These eastern newspapers... I hadn't realized Cochise was so well known.
Captain Collingwood: Oh, he's known. He's had the laugh on every troop in the southwest, these three years. Six campaigns... out-generaled us, out-fought us, out-run us.
Captain Yorke: That's just the point, sir. There aren't enough troops in the whole territory to MAKE Cochise come back. But, one man - a man he trusts - might persuade him.
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: Carbine against his spine might be more persuasive.
Captain Yorke: Well, I'll go in unarmed, sir. I can't fight my way in. Either walk in or...
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: [to himself] The man who brought Cochise back...
[to Capt. Yorke]
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: I'm for it, Captain. How many men will you need?
Captain Yorke: One, sir. Sergeant Beaufort.
RSM Michael O'Rourke: PRIVATE Beaufort, sir!
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: Why him?
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: He speaks Spanish - so does Cochise. My Apache has its limits.
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: Shouldn't you take another officer instead?
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: Well, Sergeant Beaufort was...
RSM Michael O'Rourke: PRIVATE Beaufort, sir!
Captain Yorke: Private Beaufort was a major in the Confederate army... an aide to Jeb Stuart.
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: Hmm. I remember "Kaydet" Stuart. He was...
Captain Collingwood: Quite.
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: Were you saying something, Captain?
Captain Collingwood: I said, "Quite," sir.
Captain Yorke: I'd like to leave at once if the Colonel has no questions.
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: Hmm? What?
Captain Yorke: Questions, sir?
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: No. No questions. Proceed, Captain... take your ex-rebel.
[Beaufort is addressing a group of new recruits]
Sgt. Johnny Beaufort: Gentlemen, this is a horse. You will observe it has no saddle. The reason it has no saddle is because it'll be easier for you to stay on without the saddle. Now, before we progress... did any of you gentlemen have the honor of serving with the Southern arms during the late War Between The States?
Recruit: Yes, sir. I had the pride, sir, of serving with Bedford Forrest.
Sgt. Johnny Beaufort: I am proud to shake your hand.
Recruit: Thank you, sir.
Sgt. Johnny Beaufort: I hope you have the pleasure of buying me a drink on your next payday.
Recruit: An honor, sir.
Sgt. Johnny Beaufort: You are now an acting corporal.
First Sgt. Festus Mulcahy: Just a minute!
Sgt. Quincannon: Aw, let him have one.
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: Captain Yorke, send a wagon and a detail to repair the wires and bring back the bodies.
Captain Yorke: Yes, sir. Sergeant Major, assemble a platoon from A Troop...
Lt. Col. Thursday: A platoon? I said a detail, Captain: an officer and four men.
Captain Yorke: The apaches may still be around, sir...
Lt. Col. Thursday: I'm running a command not a debating society, Captain Yorke.
Captain Yorke: A detail of four men. I will be in command...
Lt. Col. Thursday: Mr. O'Rourke will be in command.
Captain Yorke: Mr. O'Rourke in command. Have them take sixty rounds of carbine ammunition per man...
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: That's a lot of ammunition for men who've been trained to shoot. Thirty will be ample.
Captain Yorke: ...thirty will be ample... and eighteen per revolving pistol. You'll call for volunteers.
RSM O'Rourke: With the colonel's permission, I volunteer.
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: Permission refused. Carry out your orders, Sergeant Major.
Captain Yorke: You'll leave within the quarter hour, Mr. O'Rourke. Questions?
[RSM O'Rourke has left the office. Lt. O'Rourke salutes Col. Thursday and leaves]
RSM O'Rourke: [speaking to his son outside] Michael. Michael, you know what's expected of you, now.
2nd Lt. Michael O'Rourke: Sure, Dad, I know.
[leaves the building]
RSM O'Rourke: [to the bugler] Derice, go get Quincannon out of the guardhouse. Wait.
[to the courier]
RSM O'Rourke: O'Feeney, go to the stables and find Mulcahy, Shaddock and Johnny Reb. Tell 'em they're volunteerin' for an extra-hazardous mission... above and beyond the call of duty. Tell 'em their regiment is proud of 'em. Now, get goin', the whole of youse.
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: Have the trumpeter sound officer's call.
RSM Michael O'Rourke: Officer's call?
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: How long have you been in the army, O'Rourke?
RSM Michael O'Rourke: The United States army - fifteen years, sir.
Lt. Col. Owen Thursday: Then you've heard of officer's call. Have it sounded.
RSM Michael O'Rourke: Yes, sir.
RSM Michael O'Rourke: [to the bugler] Sound officer's call.
Captain Yorke: [quoting regulations] "An officer, upon reporting to a new post, must wait upon his commanding officer at the first possible moment. He will leave his card."
2nd Lt. Michael O'Rourke: [continuing to quote the regulation] "He will leave an additional card for each lady in the commanding officer's family."
Captain Yorke: [continuing] "All other officers on the post will, in turn, leave their cards at the quarters of the incoming officer."
Captain Yorke: Right?
2nd Lt. Michael O'Rourke: Right!
2nd Lt. Michael O'Rourke: Now do you understand?
Philadelphia Thursday: It was just a duty call?
Captain Yorke: That's it - just a duty call. But there's nothing in the regulations that says the commanding officer's daughter should receive such cards on her backporch... in her nightie.
Philadelphia Thursday: Pish tosh! This is not a nightie.
Philadelphia Thursday: It's a dressing gown, isn't it?
2nd Lt. Michael O'Rourke: I wouldn't know.
[Lt. O'Rourke is being introduced to Philadelphia Thursday]
First Sgt. Festus Mulcahy: Ma'am, this is my godson, "Leftenant" O'Rourke. Many's the time he's come to me with a wet nose.
Captain Yorke: Were you born in Philadelphia?
Philadelphia Thursday: No, Pomfret, Connecticut. I was named after my mother.
Captain Yorke: Oh, she was born in Philadelphia?
Philadelphia Thursday: No, Pawtucket, Rhode Island. She was named after grandmother. Grandmother was the first Philadelphia in our family.
2nd Lt. Michael O'Rourke: Oh, then she was...
Philadelphia Thursday: No, Provincetown, Massachusetts.
Ft. Apache sentry: Halt! Who goes there?
Sgt. Johnny Beaufort: The new commanding officer.
Ft. Apache sentry: Holy Moses!
Sgt. Johnny Beaufort: No, the new commanding officer.
Newspaper reporter: Of course, you're familiar with the famous painting of 'Thursday's Charge', sir?
Captain Yorke: Yes, I saw it when last I in Washington.
Newspaper reporter: That was a magnificent work.
[to other reporters]
Newspaper reporter: There were these massed columns of Apaches in their warpaint and feather bonnets... and here was Thursday leading his men in that heroic charge!
Captain Yorke: [knowing what really happened] Correct in every detail.
RSM Michael O'Rourke: [to bugler] Sound officers' call.
RSM Michael O'Rourke: No, next Christmas, you looney!
[Col. Thursday is addressing the officers]
Lt. Col. Thursday: Gentlemen, I did not seek this command, but since it's been assigned me, I intend to make this regiment the finest on the frontier. I fully realize that prolonged duty in a small outpost can lead to carelessness... and inefficiency and laxity in dress and deportment. I call it to your attention that only one of you has reported here this morning properly dressed. The uniform, gentlemen, is not a subject for individual, whimsical expression. We're not cowboys at this post... or freighters with a load of alfalfa.
[after telling the soldiers to destroy the whiskey in Meacham's storeroom, Col. Thursday starts to leave]
Silas Meacham: I'll protest. I'll write Washington, I'll have you busted!
Lt. Col. Thursday: Mr. Meacham, you're a blackguard, a liar, a hypocrite and a stench in the nostrils of honest men. If it were in my power I'd hang you from the nearest tree, leave your carcass for the buzzards. But, as you are a representative of the United States government, I pledge you the protection and cooperation of my command. Good day, sir.
RSM Michael O'Rourke: How's the boy doin' Festus?
First Sgt. Festus Mulcahy: Oh, fine, Michael, but... well... he's an officer and a gentleman, and that's no job for a gentleman.
Lt. Col. Thursday: Still, it was my impression that Presidential appointments are restricted to the sons of winners of the Congressional Medal of Honor.
RSM Michael O'Rourke: That was my impression, too, sir.
First Sgt. Festus Mulcahy: Is there any man here from Tipperary?
First Sgt. Festus Mulcahy: Is there any man here from Cork?
First Sgt. Festus Mulcahy: Is there any man here form County Sligo?
Tom O'Feeney: Here, sir.
First Sgt. Festus Mulcahy: [shakes his hand] You are now an acting corporal.