- [Opening theme]
- Singers: Oh, we're the men of Texaco. / We work from Maine to Mexico. / There's nothing like this Texaco of ours; / Our show tonight is powerful, / We'll wow you with an hourful / of howls from a showerful / of stars; / We're the merry Texaco-men. / Tonight we may be showmen; / Tomorrow we'll be servicing / your cars."
- [sleigh bells ring constantly in the background]
- Host: Christmas, when peace and good fellowship... thank you, tha-that's all, thank you... When peace and good fellowship... that's enough with the bells, thank you. It's over, thank you. Peace and good fellow... (whistle) Knock off. Peace and... OK. (gunshot)
- Host: And now, ladies and gentlemen, as I look into your faces, and believe me, some of your faces need looking into...