Slappily Married (1946)
Joe DeRita: Joe Bates
Quotes
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Mrs. Bates : [Mrs. Bates comes into the kitchen to see a mess and Joe sitting on the floor andhe helps him up] Joe, what in the world happened?
Joe Bates : I told you this was my unlucky day. Look what's happened already! I am not going to work on Friday the 13th!
Mrs. Bates : But you will go on the 14th.
Joe Bates : Well, naturally.
Mrs. Bates : [Mrs. Bates peels off the 13th on the calendar that was never taken off, in the first place, making it say 14th] Then, get cleaned up and get started because yesterday was the 13th.
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Joe Bates : Sweetheart, come back. I can explain! It was an accident.
Eddie - Honey's Fiance : Well, this is on purpose!
[Eddie punches Joe, causing him to tumble backwards into a display shelf of hats]
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Joe Bates : [Joe enters the women-only Hotel Amazon and enters the front desk] I want to see my wife.
Hotel Concierge : Name, please.
Joe Bates : Bates. Joe Bates.
Hotel Concierge : Sorry. Mrs. Bates left strict orders not to be disturbed.
Joe Bates : Oh, but I gotta see her. Look at this note. She's left me.
Hotel Concierge : I can't say that I blame her.
Joe Bates : Now, see here. You let me see my wife or I'm going to make trouble!
Violet - Hotel Matron : [Violet appears behind him] You're what?
Joe Bates : I said...
[Notices Violet and changes his attitude]
Joe Bates : I don't want to make no trouble.
Violet - Hotel Matron : [Points to the NO MEN ALLOWED sign] Read that, wise guy!
Joe Bates : Uh, who's smoking?
Joe Bates : [unamused] Now, listen, bub, are you going out vertical or horizontal?
Joe Bates : I'll go quietly, officer.
Violet - Hotel Matron : Well, then, get-a-goin'!
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Joe Bates : Just answer this. What makes a balloon go up?
Fast Talker : Hot air.
Joe Bates : Well, what's holding you down?