Wonder Man (1945)
Edwin: I don't want to go to Brooklyn. You can't make me. I don't *want* to go to Brooklyn.
Bus Driver: None of us want to, bud, but we all gotta go sooner or later.
Ellen Shanley: Do you think you'll be coming back tomorrow?
Edwin Dingle: Oh, by all means. I enjoy it here very much, uh, I love the smell of leather bindings.
Schmidt: He's talking to a salami. He thinks it's a fan dancer.
Edwin: Do you remember you once told me you wouldn't be found dead in Brooklyn?
Buzzy's Ghost: Yeah, I remember. That was the only way they could get me here.
Edwin Dingle: In fact, I don't think I'm ever going to see Buster again.
[Edwin hears the spooky Buster music and gasps]
Edwin Dingle: [angrily] Buster!
Buzzy's Ghost: [popping out of a box] I'm a little devil, ain't I?
Buster "Buzzy" Bellew: Take it easy, lad. A fellow has to pay his cab fare. What do I owe you, Max?
Max - Taxi Driver: 60 cents, Buzzy.
Buster "Buzzy" Bellew: I'll toss you for it, double or nothing. Give me a coin. Come on, Max. Come on. That a boy. What do you cry?
Max - Taxi Driver: Tails!
Buster "Buzzy" Bellew: To bad, Max, you lose. Ha-ha-ha!
[Starts to walk away]
Max - Taxi Driver: Hey Buzzy, my quarter! My quarter!
Buster "Buzzy" Bellew: This guy's money mad. Here you go, Max.
[Buzzy tosses money to Max]
Max - Taxi Driver: [Surprised] Five bucks! What a sweetheart.
Ellen Shanley: You know, Mr. Dingle, you have the most extraordinary mind I've ever heard of.
Edwin Dingle: Oh, I wouldn't say that.
Ellen Shanley: You're very modest, aren't you?
Edwin Dingle: Yes, I guess, I am.
Ellen Shanley: That's odd. If I had a mind like yours; in fact, if I had any mind at all; I'd be a brazen hussy! Ha-ha-ha.
Edwin Dingle: Oh! Ha-ha-ha
Ellen Shanley: There! I bet that's the first time you've laughed since you've read Professor Zimmel's inaccuracies of the Phoenician wars. Ha-ha-ha
Edwin Dingle: Ha-ha-ha. Yes, I guess it is, at that. You know, I really enjoy being here.
Ellen Shanley: I'm glad. I like having you.
Ellen Shanley: Edwin, do you always where your hair parted in the middle?
Edwin Dingle: Yes, why?
Ellen Shanley: Why, I never saw anybody look good with their hair that way, except Hedy Lamarr.
Policeman in Park: [Kicked in the posterior by Edwin Dingle while drinking at a water fountain in Prospect Park] Why, you!
Edwin Dingle: Good evening.
Policeman in Park: What do you think you're doing?
Edwin Dingle: Oh, forgive me, it was, it was a scientific experiment.
Policeman in Park: I'll show you an experiment, Einstein!
Edwin Dingle: Did you say you sing and dance in a night club?
Sailor's Girl Friend: No, I work in a bakery. But, a lot of people take me for Lana Turner.
Monte Rossen: Alright, Alright, she's waiting for you. Now, be a good Joe, slip her a kiss and square the beef so she'll know you're on the up and up.
Midge Mallon: Someday, you won't get away with this, Buzzy. Its a good thing I'm as wacky as you are.
Buzzy's Ghost: As the little Eskimo girl says, it takes me a little while to get me to warm up.
Chimp: Mr. Bellew, Can I have your autograph, please, for the guys in my sorority?
Buzzy's Ghost: Why, certainly, I'm an old Vassar man, myself.
Edwin Dingle: I want to explain about last night.
Ellen Shanley: Well, it better be good. Making me wait hours for potato salad and telephoning me and barking like a dog, meowing like a cat and hooting like an owl.
Edwin Dingle: Ellen.
Ellen Shanley: You've got a nerve, hanging around here. You just got me fired!
Edwin Dingle: I'm sorry, but, I must resort to force.
Ellen Shanley: Oh, now you're a cave man!
Edwin Dingle: Well, the Neanderthal Man had his merits.
District Attorney: Calm down, Mr. Bellew. You're as safe as a church.
District Attorney: Your story is satisfactory except for a few minor details.
Edwin Dingle: Well, it was quite dark and I may have slipped up on one or two points.
District Attorney: Yes, in the first place, the tall, thin man with the red beard was a short, fat, fan dancer named Chu-Chu LaVerne!
District Attorney: Holy jumping Republicans, throw this maniac outta here!