Hare Tonic (1945)
Mel Blanc: Bugs Bunny
Quotes
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Bugs Bunny : [in disguise] I'm Dr. Killpatient from the Board of Health. Where's the contaminated rabbit at?
Elmer Fudd : Oh, I'm gweatwy gwatified to see you, Doctor.
Bugs Bunny : Okay, okay, where's he at?
Elmer Fudd : He's wight in here, some pwace.
Bugs Bunny : [Enters a room and closes the door] Hmm. Mmm-hmm. Hmm. Yes? Mmm.
[Opens door]
Bugs Bunny : Mr. Fudd, come in a minute, please.
[They enter the room; it's painted with colored spots]
Elmer Fudd : Oh! Oh, my gwacious!
Bugs Bunny : [Hiding the buckets of paint] Why, what's the matter, Fudd?
Elmer Fudd : Spots! I see spots before my eyes!
Bugs Bunny : Spots? Mmm, that's bad. Spots, Mmm. Foist symptom of rabittitus.
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Elmer Fudd : [singing] Mama's wittle baby woves wabbit, wabbit, Mama's wittle baby woves wabbit stew!
Bugs Bunny : [inside Elmer's basket] Eh, what's up, Doc? What's in the basket?
Elmer Fudd : A wabbit. I'm gonna make a wabbit stew.
Bugs Bunny : Rabbit? Mmm, mmm! Love it, love it!
[Jumps out of basket and jumps excitedly in front of Elmer]
Bugs Bunny : Hey, Lemme see the rabbit, mister! Can I see the rabbit, Huh? Please let me see the rabbit!
Elmer Fudd : Awright.
[Bugs goes inside basket, comes out other side]
Bugs Bunny : No rabbit in there, Doc! You've been robbed!
Elmer Fudd : No wabbit? Well, I...
[Elmer crawls into basket, Bugs carries basket]
Bugs Bunny : [singing] Mama's little baby loves rabbit, rabbit, mama's little baby loves rabbit stew!
Elmer Fudd : Ooh, you twickster! You're the wabbit!
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Bugs Bunny : [as Dr. Killpatient] Tell me, Mr. Fudd. Do you have any rabbit inclinations?
Elmer Fudd : Well, no.
Bugs Bunny : What's two times two?
Elmer Fudd : Four.
Bugs Bunny : Three times three?
Elmer Fudd : Six.
Bugs Bunny : Ah-ha! Multiplying! Yep, you're even beginning to look like a rabbit.
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Bugs Bunny : [after Elmer gets "contaminated", he tries to take a shower, but no water comes out and it is then revealed that Bugs Bunny is the shower head] Goigle, goigle. Why don'tcha pay your water bill, doc?
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[last lines]
Bugs Bunny : [Bugs is chased out of Elmer's home, but stops him in his tracks] Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Look, the people out there in the audience - the lady there with the long ears. They're getting longer all the time. And the guy back there in the seventeenth row with a cute tomato - he's gettin' all fuzzy. Yeah, they've got it. Everybody out there's got rabbititus! Yaah!
Bugs Bunny : [Elmer storms back into the house] Oh, Margaret, what a dope. That was just a gag, of course. You folks haven't got rabbititus. Why, if you had rabbititus, you'd see red and yellow spots before your eyes.
Bugs Bunny : [red and yellow spots appear on the screen] Yeah, that's right. And then they'd start swirling and swirling around.
[the spots start swirling rapidly]
Bugs Bunny : And then suddenly, everything would go black!
[screen immediately fades to black. Bugs is heard laughing]
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Bugs Bunny : [is about to escape, but stops himself] Uh-oh. Wait a minute. This set-up's too good. I just can't leave. I gotta go back and heckle that character.
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Elmer Fudd : Oh, this is tewwible. Trapped with a cwazy, contaminated wabbit.
Bugs Bunny : Oh, now doc. Don't get yourself in a dither. How do you know I'm contaminated? I haven't got no symptoms. You don't see no spots before my eyes, do you?
[Spots appear before Bugs' eyes]
Elmer Fudd : Oh, gwacious!
Bugs Bunny : My tongue ain't coated. See?
[Sticks out his tongue; it has a small overcoat on]
Elmer Fudd : Oh, my gwacious!
Bugs Bunny : I don't throw fits.
[Starts throwing fits]
Elmer Fudd : Oh, gwacious! Oh, my!
[Bugs advances towards Elmer like the Frankenstein monster; Elmer backs against a wall]
Bugs Bunny : No, siree. Never felt better in my life. I'm full of pep.
[Grabs Elmer's hand and starts dancing with him]
Bugs Bunny : Well yes, yes. Well all reet. C'mon, Jackson. Cut yourself a slice of rug.
Elmer Fudd : Oh, let go of my hand, you cwazy wabbit! Oh, now you've done it. You've contaminated me! Oh, ho-ho-ho-ho!
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Bugs Bunny : [as Dr. Kilpatient] Okay, Doc, let me test your reflexes,
[hits his knee with a mallet]
Bugs Bunny : first this one,
[hits his other knee]
Bugs Bunny : than that one, this one, that one, this one, that one
[Bugs and Elmer go off into a Russian Dance]
Bugs Bunny : Hey!
Elmer Fudd : [suddenly realizing] Hey, you're not a doctor. You're that scwewy wabbit!
Bugs Bunny : [continues dancing] Hey!
[Elmer whips out a shotgun and shoots at him]
Bugs Bunny : Hey! Hey! Hey!
[runs away]