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Bud Abbott and Lou Costello in Hollywood (1945) Poster

Quotes

Buzz Kurtis: Every time you open your mouth, what happens?

Abercrombie: I eat.

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Abercrombie: I gotta break the date.

Ruthie: What date?

Abercrombie: Don't you remember? June 22nd?

Ruthie: June 22nd? I don't remwember anything about a date.

Abercrombie: Oh, yes. Don't you remember? I said I was gonna take you to the Palladium a long time ago, and you said, 'See me next year.' Well, tonight the year is up.

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Abercrombie: [starting to shave Rags] Now, I got the razor and the smelling salts.

Rags Ragland: The what?

Abercrombie: The smellin' salts.

Rags Ragland: What's that for?

Abercrombie: I faint when I see the sight of blood.

Rags Ragland: Oh...

Rags Ragland: [after a delayed reaction] Blood! Look, if you cut me, there's gonna be plenty of blood, and it's all gonna be yours!

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Mr. Burvis, Ruthie's Boss: [reacting to a verbal spat between two of his manicurists] My shop is for hair cutting, not hair pulling!

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Gregory LeMaise: [In disguise with a beard] Did you ever hear the one about the guy who was so brave he stuck his right arm into a lion's mouth, right up to there.

[he motions to his shoulder]

Abercrombie: [also in disguise] He stuck his right arm in a lion's mouth up to there?

[also motioning to his shoulder]

Gregory LeMaise: Yrah!

Abercrombie: His right arm?

Gregory LeMaise: Yeah!

Abercrombie: What's his name?

Gregory LeMaise: Lefty!

[he breaks into raucous laughter]

Abercrombie: [he spills his drink into Ambercrombie's turban which is on his lap] You get it?

Abercrombie: [both are laughing] I didn't get it that time.

Gregory LeMaise: You didn't?

Abercrombie: No, no.

Gregory LeMaise: Lefty!

[he laughs even louder as Ambercrombie absentmindedly puts his turban on, drenching himself with the drink]

Gregory LeMaise: [Ambercrombie stops laughing] You know, you're a great fellow. You made me forget my troubles.

Abercrombie: You've drowned mine!

Gregory LeMaise: [laughs] You've got troubles too?

Abercrombie: Yes, sir.

Gregory LeMaise: [laughing] No, but I've got real troubles. I killed a man!

Abercrombie: [reacting to the camera] A man killed me. That's why I'm wearing this fake beard.

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Abercrombie: A face like mine is hard to forget.

Buzz Kurtis: How do you know?

Abercrombie: I've been tryin' for years!

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Buzz Kurtis: You can't sleep?

Abercrombie: No.

Buzz Kurtis: I've got just the thing for you. Don't go away.

[He leaves the room]

Buzz Kurtis: [returning with a phonograph record] Well, pal, here it is.

Abercrombie: What do you got there?

Buzz Kurtis: [reading the label] 'Go To Sleep with Dr. Caswell Snide.'

Abercrombie: Oh, no! I wanna sleep alone!

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Buzz Kurtis: Now, listen. This is even better than you getting socked. You're dead!

Abercrombie: If I'm dead, then... then why am I so hungry?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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