Crazy House (1943)
Mumbo: Wanna buy a clock? On time?
Mumbo: Do you wanna buy a deck of cards? It's a good deal.
Mumbo: Wanna buy a stove? It's hot.
Mumbo: Wanna buy an anchor? Right off the boat!
Mumbo: Do you wanna buy a piece of chalk and make your mark in the world?
Mumbo: Do you wanna buy a beehive? You won't get stung.
[questioning the artist about his abstract painting "Moonlight Over Manhattan"]
Prosecutor: Will you kindly tell us where the moonlight is?
Roco: Well, it's all moonlight.
Prosecutor: Then where's Manhattan?
Roco: Between Brooklyn and Jersey. Everybody knows that.
Ole Olsen: Chic, why did you do that? Why did you shoot those lovers?
Chic Johnson: This is gonna be one movie without a happy ending.
Ole Olsen: Is there a dentist in the house?
Dentist: I'm a dentist!
Ole Olsen: [Shoots him with rifle] How do YOU like getting drilled?
Chic Johnson: Are you the bellboy?
Chic Johnson: Take this.
[Hands him the Liberty Bell]
Chic Johnson: No cracks.
Ole Olsen: Universal's most sensational comedy team's outside.
N.G. Wagstaff: Abbott & Costello - send them in!