My Favorite Blonde (1942)
Larry Haines: "Is that your real hair or did you scalp an angel?"
Karen Bentley: [surreptitiously] There's no time to lose. Do you know what it feels like to be followed, hounded and watched every second?
Larry Haines: Well I used to, but now I pay cash for everything.
Karen Bentley: Look at me.
Larry Haines: I'm looking.
Karen Bentley: You've got to trust me.
Larry Haines: I'm not through looking yet.
Karen Bentley: You mustn't ask any questions.
Larry Haines: I'm asking. I mean, I'm not asking.
Karen Bentley: My name's Karen Bentley. I can't tell you any more.
Larry Haines: My name's Larry Haines. There's no more to tell.
Karen Bentley: Mr. Haines, you're not listening to me.
Larry Haines: Yes, I am. I said every word you heard.
Larry Haines: Hey, what's this 'Flip and Nip', this 'Floppy Louie' stuff?
Karen Bentley: No questions please. I'm being followed by two men in black.
Larry Haines: You sure you don't mean two men in white?
Larry Haines: Say, you know honey: You and me could make music together. Right now I feel like the philharmonic.
Larry Haines: [Trying to get away from Karen] Taxi! A thin taxi for one!
Karen Bentley: Larry! Larry! You have 3 hours between trains. Wouldn't you like to go past my apartment house and drop me off?
Larry Haines: Drop you off? I sure would. How many stories is it?
[Plane engine sputtering]
Larry Haines: What's that?
Karen Bentley: It isn't moving properly. There's not enough gas to clean a doily.
Larry Haines: Oh, that's fine. That's great! That means we're going to be stuck up here where everybody can see us.
[Screaming as plane dives]
Larry Haines: I gotta send a wire to Nat Burton. I gotta tell him to get us a lawyer to straighten out this murder business.
Karen Bentley: Who's Nat Burton?
Larry Haines: He's my agent.
Karen Bentley: Do you think he'll help?
Larry Haines: He'd better. If I get the electric chair, he gets 10% of the current.
Larry Haines: Let's get out of here before my knees beat themselves to death.
Larry Haines: Lady, if I'm not out of that door in 2 seconds flat, my name's not Larry Haines!
[Larry opens the door, sees a knife fly into the wood, and closes the door]
Larry Haines: [holding his hand out to Karen] Meet John Doe!
[Larry switches on the radio]
Bob Hope: [on radio] How d'ya do, ladies and gentlemen, this is Bob Hope, the Pepsodent Kid, still hanging on by your teeth. And I'm here to tell you that I -
[Larry switches off radio]
Larry Haines: I can't stand that guy.
[staging a furious argument]
Larry Haines: So, I'm a muckfritchetous snitdrivel, am I?
Karen Bentley: Yes, and you're also a scridgepodge, that's what you are!
Larry Haines: [Impersonating a famed pediatrician before a crowd of mothers]
Mother Who Has a Girl of Nine: Dr. Higby, I have a girl of nine who won't listen to what's right. She always does what's wrong. What should I do?
Larry Haines: Wait ten years, and if there's no improvement... send me her number.