- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: [Last Lines] Did anyone yell headache when I was coming down?
- Johnny Marshall: Sure.
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: I'm glad nobody got hurt.
- [Hank dies]
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: I ain't used to havin' women servin' me breakfast. I guess there is somethin' to this marriage business after all. How long has this been going on?
- Fay Duval: Since Adam and Eve.
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: You know, I can't figure it. I like the dames, but they don't go for me. I'm strictly a cold wire in that department.
- Johnny Marshall: For every guy in this world, there's a dame. You just gotta wait.
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: Yeah, I'm waitin'. Only I want to whisper "I love you" with my own teeth!
- Mrs. Calkin - Saleslady: The young lady will be right out. Do you like the longer dresses they're wearing this year?
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: Uh, it don't bother me none. I got a good memory.
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: Johnny, what are you doing for supper tonight?
- Johnny Marshall: Oh, nothing exciting.
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: Well, come on home with me.
- Johnny Marshall: Nah, it's getting to be a habit.
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: What's the matter? Don't you like the food?
- Johnny Marshall: Oh sure, I like it. But if I show up at your house this week for another meal, Fay'll wind up calling the cops. And after all, you're practically still on your honeymoon.
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: I'm only asking you for supper.
- Dolly: You know, Smiley, there's one grand consolation about working in this dump. You can't get any lower.
- Johnny Marshall: [the phone rings] I'll get it. Oh, if it's that blonde, are you in or out?
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: Well if it's her, I'm in and ready to go out!
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: You know, I can't figure it. I like the dames, but they don't go for me. I'm strictly a cold wire in that department.
- Johnny Marshall: For every guy in this world, there's a dame. You just gotta wait.
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: Yeah, I'm waitin'. Only I want to whisper 'I love you' with my own teeth!
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: Well, I'll be right back, Baby. You know, dancin' with you is like walkin' on clouds.
- Polly: That's what you think. Those were my feet!
- Johnny Marshall: They'll be other nights, Baby.
- Polly: Not for me, there won't. Not with that jerk of all trades!
- Johnny Marshall: What's wrong with you, Sister?
- Polly: He's worn a path right up my ankles.
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: I still can't understand why I had to throttle that dame to make her kiss me.
- Johnny Marshall: It's the way you move in. You're with a dame two minutes and she wants to bat your brains out.
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: Well, I wouldn't say that. I know plenty of dames who went completely daffy over me.
- Johnny Marshall: Oh, who are you kidding. Every time I've seen you up at bat, you strike out. But, you mug, even if the dames don't love you, I do.
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: Yeah? What's that gonna get me?
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: You guys can needle me all you want. But, that dame tonight was really stacked up. And, furthermore, as soon as we finish that line-break, I'm going right back to that little mouse.
- Eddie Adams: If she's waitin' for you, she must be one of the three blind mice.
- Jumbo Wells: As I was tellin' ya, that dame was so thin that every time she took a drink of tomato juice, she looked like a thermometer.
- Eddie Adams: I like a dame that's built like a hot water bottle.
- Omaha: I wish I was home with a good book and a brunette.
- Johnny Marshall: Don't kid us, you can't read.
- Omaha: That's what I say.
- Jumbo Wells: No brunettes for me. I'm strictly a blonde-of-the-month club man.
- Pop Duval: Kid me if you want to, but those wires, I felt them, you haven't! They're as treacherous as a snake. You'll find out like I did.
- Johnny Marshall: Forget it Pop. The worst thing that could happen is that they send you home in a box. And everybody rates that, sooner or later.
- Eddie Adams: I'll take later.
- Jumbo Wells: Yeah, much later.
- Sidney Whipple: Say, listen, can't you men speak to your friend. We can't get any service around here. The nurses are all afraid to go near this - this octopus!
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: How come I get a different nurse in here every time I ring?
- Nurse Who Lost Draw: Well, for this room we always draw lots and this time I lost. What can I do for you?
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: When do I get my next bath?
- Nurse Who Lost Draw: You've had three already today!
- Johnny Marshall: When is the doc checkin' you out?
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: Oh, in about a week. Yeah, but this leg will never be right. I got to settle down on the ground like a squirrel with the gout.
- Pop Duval: How's Hank?
- Johnny Marshall: He's doin' fine.
- Pop Duval: Did you tell him how I can't stand to go in a hospital?
- Johnny Marshall: He knows it. He don't like it himself.
- Johnny Marshall: Your daughter wound up gettin' pinched in a Frisco gin joint for clippin' a sucker's wallet. That wasn't your fault.
- Pop Duval: It wasn't her fault either. She was innocent.
- Johnny Marshall: Yeah. Yeah, you told me.
- Fay Duval: Have you got a cigarette? I bet I look like something that came in with the tide. I sure could use some powder and lipstick.
- Johnny Marshall: Sorry, I left mine at home.
- Drug Store Clerk: What can I do for you, sir?
- Johnny Marshall: I want a lipstick. You heard me.
- Drug Store Clerk: Yes, sir. Eh, what shade?
- Johnny Marshall: Any color, as long as it's red.
- Johnny Marshall: It's a good thing that stuff ain't fattening.
- Fay Duval: I could use a couple of pounds. The rest cure didn't do my figure any good.
- Drug Store Clerk: It didn't do it any harm.
- Johnny Marshall: Go on, jerk yourself a soda.
- Fay Duval: [props her leg up] Say, doc, you got something to take out a spot?
- Drug Store Clerk: Oh, yes, ma'am. We always keep it handy.
- [walks over with the spot remover and rubs an area of Fay's dress above her propped up knee]
- Fay Duval: How's the view from your angle?
- Johnny Marshall: I've seen as good.
- Drug Store Clerk: There! Any other spots?
- Fay Duval: No, what do you think I am? A leopard?
- Drug Store Clerk: Oh there's one.
- [touches Fay's bottom and Fay slaps away his hand]
- Fay Duval: I'll handle that one.
- Johnny Marshall: What are you gonna do in LA?
- Fay Duval: Oh, I'll get by, one way or the other.
- Johnny Marshall: Why don't you try the other way for a change.
- Fay Duval: Because there's too many guys like you - crawling around.
- Johnny Marshall: Why do you even waste your time with a dame like that?
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: Oh, she seems all right, Johnny. You didn't give her a chance. I feel sorry for the filly. I wonder how she's fixed for dough?
- Drunk Texan: Rope us in - she's young and tender! Gimme a bourbon and soda - eh, a soda and a blonde.
- Smiley Quinn: Now, go on, be like me, just lose yourself in your work.
- Fay Duval: It doesn't help. I always find myself again.
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: I bet you ain't gettin' rich in this flea bag.
- Fay Duval: You're right. I don't get anything out of this joint, but tired.
- FloorLady: Is there anything I can do for you gentlemen?
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: Well, yeah, I would like to buy a birthday present for a mouse.
- FloorLady: A mouse?
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: I mean, a dame.
- FloorLady: Have you anything specific in mind? A purse, perfume, costume jewelry?
- Jumbo Wells: Hey, Hank, how 'bout some underwear? Could we see some models?
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: What's the difference between a robe and a negligee?
- Johnny Marshall: A robe covers you up.
- Jumbo Wells: Well then, let's look at the negligees.
- Mrs. Calkin - Saleslady: You gentlemen will be seated. I'll have some very nice items modeled for you.
- Jumbo Wells: Johnny, what about the underwear?
- Fay Duval: What's going on? What is on your mind?
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: Nothing. Say, does a guy have to have somthin' on his mind when he gives a dame a present?
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: Hi ya, squirrels! What's cookin'?
- Eddie Adams: Ah, some dame down in Santa Monica got a washing machine on the fritz.
- Jumbo Wells: Ah, tell her not to worry. I'll go down and wash her.
- Johnny Marshall: Why don't you try it on yourself?
- Dolly: Listen, if a fella ever proposed to me, I'd only ask myself two things: A - Does he wear pants? B - Has he got a job? Look around you Fay, this joint's a dead end street. I'm 25, look 35, and feel like 50.
- Fay Duval: The tinhorns that talk biggest, scream the loudest when they get the check. You're so cheap, you're wholesale.
- Fay Duval: What makes you think I couldn't level with the guy?
- Johnny Marshall: You couldn't even level with yourself. You got that clip joint in your blood and you'll never lose it.
- Benny - Counterman: What'll it be boys?
- Lineman #1: A cup of mud without any cream, in a hurry.
- Benny - Counterman: A blackout! And blitz it!
- Lineman #2: Four hamburgers to take out.
- Benny - Counterman: Chop up four cows to be convoyed!
- Benny - Counterman: Come on, boys, let's have your orders.
- Jumbo Wells: I'll take hash.
- Benny - Counterman: The guy wants to take a chance!
- Omaha: Bein' as I'm his pal, I'll take the same chance.
- Benny - Counterman: Another sport!
- Lineman #3: Hey, a nice cut of beef. Juicy and no fat.
- Benny - Counterman: One impossible!
- Benny - Counterman: And your's?
- Lineman #4: How are your cherries?
- Benny - Counterman: Okay, how are your's?
- Lineman #4: Are they fresh?
- Benny - Counterman: Positively, brother.
- Lineman #4: Alright, I'll take an order.
- Benny - Counterman: One George Washington out of the can!
- Eddie Adams: Give me a bowl of chili with plenty of peppers.
- Benny - Counterman: One Mexican heartburn!
- Hank 'Gimpy' McHenry: Hey, Benny! Get me a nice bottle of Sherry and wrap it up for a present, will ya?
- Benny - Counterman: Grapes of Wrath in a sport jacket!