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Dr. Lorenz: And if you ever need anything, like medical attention, or fire insurance, or a marriage performed, or a loan, perhaps? I should be delighted to oblige.

Winnie Slade: Doesn't anybody else do anything in Jinxville?

Dr. Lorenz: Oh, they... they vote once a year.

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Dr. Lorenz: Do you imagine I could take advantage, exploit, capitalize on a great scientific discovery? Cheat millions of people all the world over? Profane my profession? Suppose I make a few dollars, don't you think I wouldn't put it right back into science?

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Dr. Lorenz: If he is a choreographer, then I am Pavlova.

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Dr. Lorenz: It isn't in Brampton's room. That proves he did it! He's covering up!

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Silvio, the Human Bomb: In this sack, I have forty kilos of dynamite, and I don't mean ravioli!

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Bill Leyden: They murdered him! Just like they murdered the other one!

Prof. Nathaniel Billings: Please! Please! The word is, "martyrized."

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Prof. Nathaniel Billings: Amelia, this riffraff, as you call him, is really the salt of the earth. All he needs is to be iodized.

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Winnie Slade: [Referring to Professor Billings] Isn't he a dear?

Amelia Jones: Even when he was a baby, he never cried - not even when we dropped him.

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Prof. Nathaniel Billings: [Enthusiastically] I have very good news for you, Doctor!

Dr. Lorenz: Really?

Prof. Nathaniel Billings: Now, guess what!

Dr. Lorenz: [Annoyed] I don't know!

Prof. Nathaniel Billings: [With continued enthusiasm] Go ahead - guess

Dr. Lorenz: [Angrily] D-Do I look like a quiz kid?

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Amelia Jones: Everybody in this town knows you made your fortune on snake oil hair restorer.

Dr. Lorenz: Well, what's wrong with that? Where's the hair follicle that can resist 2000 international units of Vitamin A? Where is it?

Prof. Nathaniel Billings: [Bending over and pointing to a spot on top of his head] Right here.

Dr. Lorenz: [Examining it] Hmmm! Oh, hardening of the skull!

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Dr. Lorenz: [Referring to Bill Leyden] ... if the army didn't need him, I would have commmitted him to the squirrel pen at Idlewild Sanitarium, so help me!

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Dr. Lorenz: [Signing the mortgage] "Contractum sanctum putnam," which means done and dished up!

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Maxie, the Powder Puff Salesman: Am I unconscious yet?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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