- [first lines]
- [Shotgun Cassidy barges out of the telegraph office with a message in his hand]
- Brett Starr: It must be important, Cassidy. Now if you could only read it...
- Shotgun Cassidy: You keep your pryin' nose out of my business.
- Brett Starr: That's what I'm doin'. I'm goin' to retire officially now.
- Shotgun Cassidy: Yeah? Well, I'm retirin' myself. Leastways I'm leavin' town.
- Brett Starr: Me, too. Dodge City's goin' to be kind of lonesome without us.
- Shotgun Cassidy: I'll be glad to take a partin' shot at you to liven things up!
- Brett Starr: When I go into shootin' just to take the quiet out of the air, Cassidy, I'll look you up.
- Brett Starr: [Brett and Gabby confront three men stealing dresses from Mary's shop] Hey, hasn't a lady got any rights around here?
- Clay brother, Jed Crowley, Clay brother: Huh?
- Saloon boss: Well, I'll tell you, stranger, it's every man *and* woman for himself here. We ain't had a sheriff in a month!
- [Roy tries to select a dress for the nine-year-old Annie]
- Brett Starr: I have some folks out of town and I'd like to buy a little girl's dress.
- Mary Carson: Certainly.
- [Holds up a dress]
- Mary Carson: Pretty?
- [eyeing Mary]
- Brett Starr: About the prettiest I ever saw.
- Mary Carson: What's her name?
- Brett Starr: That's what I'm wondering.
- Brett Starr: [thinking he is Shotgun Cassidy, Mayor Keeler has appointed Brett as Sheriff of Tombstone] Keeler says the surviving Carsons are a pack of cutthroats.
- Judge Gabby Whittaker: No!
- Brett Starr: Yeah.
- Judge Gabby Whittaker: What are you gettin' all prettied up for?
- Brett Starr: I'm goin' callin' on the Carsons.
- Judge Gabby Whittaker: Ain't that a mite dangerous?
- Brett Starr: From Keeler's description, it'll be downright perilous.
- Judge Gabby Whittaker: Hmm. Gives me the shivers to think of it.
- Brett Starr: The leader is a killer of the worst kind. Stands five foot tall, over 70, white hair and wears a little bonnet on top of it.
- Judge Gabby Whittaker: I'm goin' along... just for the shivers.
- Granny Carson: We ain't budgin' boys.
- Mary Carson: Your bonnet's crooked!
- Granny Carson: Me shootin's straight.
- Brett Starr: Good mornin'! I didn't expect to see you here, Miss, ah...
- Mary Carson: Carson! I live here.
- Granny Carson: It's never a good mornin' for sheriffs on the Carson claim. Now git and git fast!
- Brett Starr: I'm not only Sheriff, ma'am, but I aim to be a peace officer.
- Granny Carson: Then why are you hidin' behind that shotgun? And why is that old goat hidin' behind them moth-eaten whiskers?
- Judge Gabby Whittaker: Madam, I'll have you know that this hirsute is free of habitation.
- Granny Carson: Why don't you buy yourself a snood?
- Judge Gabby Whittaker: This old wildcat's as bad as Sal. Now keep your shirt on! I mean... don't get yourself in a tizzle.
- [last lines]
- [Brett picks up a bridal veil]
- Brett Starr: I want to buy that for...
- Mary Carson: Annie? Why she won't be wearing one of those for years.
- Brett Starr: We'll save it for her. And with you only wearing it once...
- Mary Carson: Why, Brett! It will be just as good as new!