Quotes

Tracy Lord: I'm going crazy. I'm standing here solidly on my own two hands and going crazy.

Macaulay Connor: It can't be anything like love, can it?

Tracy Lord: No, no, it can't be.

Macaulay Connor: Would it be inconvenient?

Tracy Lord: Terribly.

Margaret Lord: The course of true love...

Macaulay Connor: ...gathers no moss.

Macaulay Connor: This is the Bridal Suite. Would you send up a couple of caviar sandwiches and a bottle of beer?

Margaret Lord: What? Who is this?

Macaulay Connor: This is the Voice of Doom calling. Your days are numbered, to the seventh son of the seventh son.

Margaret Lord: Hello? Hello?

Tracy Lord: What's the matter?

Margaret Lord: One of the servants has been at the sherry again.

Macaulay Connor: You've got all the arrogance of your class, haven't you?

Tracy Lord: What have classes to do with it? What do they matter except for the people in them? George comes from the so-called lower class, Dexter, the upper. Well?

Macaulay Connor: Well...

Tracy Lord: Mac the night watchman is a prince among men, Uncle Willie is a... pincher. Upper and lower my eye. I'll take the lower, thanks.

Macaulay Connor: If you can't get a drawing room.

Tracy Lord: What does that mean?

Macaulay Connor: My mistake.

Tracy Lord: Decidedly. You're insulting!

Macaulay Connor: Sorry.

Tracy Lord: Oh, don't apologize!

Macaulay Connor: Well, who's apologizing?

Tracy Lord: I never knew such a man.

Macaulay Connor: You wouldn't be likely to, from where you sit!

Tracy Lord: Talk about arrogance.

Macaulay Connor: Tracy.

Tracy Lord: What do you want?

Macaulay Connor: [pause] You're wonderful.

Tracy Lord: [Tracy and Mike have almost kissed. Both are very drunk] Has your mind taken hold again, dear professor?

Macaulay Connor: Good thing, don't you agree?

Tracy Lord: No, professor.

Macaulay Connor: [angrily] Alright, lay off that "professor" stuff! Now, do you hear me?

Tracy Lord: Yes, professor...

[Dexter has just proposed]

Tracy Lord: Oh Dexter you're not doing it just to soften the blow?

C. K. Dexter Haven: No.

Tracy Lord: Nor to save my face?

C. K. Dexter Haven: Oh, it's a nice little face.

Tracy Lord: Oh Dexter, I'll be yar now, I promise to be yar.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Be whatever you like, you're my redhead.

C. K. Dexter Haven: [looking for the "hair of the dog"] Do you s'pose, sir, speaking of eye-openers...?

Uncle Willie: Oh, that's the first sane remark I've heard today. C'malong, Dexter, I know a formula that's said to pop the pennies off the eyelids of dead Irishmen.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: Oh it's all right Tracy. We all go haywire at times and if we don't, maybe we ought to.

Macaulay Connor: The prettiest sight in this fine pretty world is the privileged class enjoying its privileges.

Tracy Lord: You hardly know him.

C. K. Dexter Haven: To hardly know him is to know him well.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Sometimes, for your own sake, Red, I think you should've stuck to me longer.

Tracy Lord: I thought it was for life, but the nice judge gave me a full pardon.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Aaah, that's the old redhead. No bitterness, no recrimination, just a good swift left to the jaw.

C. K. Dexter Haven: I thought all writers drank to excess and beat their wives. You know one time I secretly wanted to be a writer.

Seth Lord: You have everything it takes to make a lovely woman except the one essential: an understanding heart. And without that you might just as well be made of bronze.

Sidney Kidd: I understand we understand each other.

Tracy Lord: You haven't switched from liquor to dope, by any chance, have you Dexter?

Tracy Lord: Dexter, say something.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Well, I...

Tracy Lord: Oh, I'm such an unholy mess of a girl.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Well, now, that's not conversation.

George Kittredge: You're like some marvelous, distant, well, queen, I guess. You're so cool and fine and always so much your own. There's a kind of beautiful purity about you, Tracy, like, like a statue.

Tracy Lord: George...

George Kittredge: Oh, it's grand, Tracy. It's what everybody feels about you. It's what I first worshipped you for from afar.

Tracy Lord: I don't want to be worshipped. I want to be loved.

Tracy Lord: You seem quite contemptuous of me all of the sudden.

C. K. Dexter Haven: No Red, not of you, never of you.

Tracy Lord: These stories are beautiful. Why, Mike, they're almost poetry.

Macaulay Connor: Don't kid yourself, they are.

Macaulay Connor: [speaking of Tracy] What are her leading characteristics?

C. K. Dexter Haven: She has a horror of men who wear their hats in the house.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: Leading characteristics to be filled in later.

Macaulay Connor: I can fill them in right now: the rich, rapacious, American female. There's no other country where she exists.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: And would I change places with Tracy Samantha Lord for all her wealth and beauty? Oh boy just ask me.

Macaulay Connor: [drunk, to driver] Well, this is where Cinderella gets off, now you hurry back to the ball before you turn into a pumpkin and six white mice, goodbye.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: Where's my wandering parakeet?

Macaulay Connor: Tell four footmen to call me in time for lunch will you?

C. K. Dexter Haven: I'm sorry, but I thought I better hit you before he did. He's in better shape than I am.

Macaulay Connor: Well you'll do!

George Kittredge: I'm going to build you an ivory tower with my own two hands.

Tracy Lord: Like fun you are.

Tracy Lord: [a very drunk Tracy] My feet are made of clay. Made of clay, did you know? Good niiiggghhhttt little man!

Macaulay Connor: [telling off Sidney Kidd, his boss] Quote: No hunter of buckshot in the rear is cagey, crafty Connor. Un-quote. Close paragraph.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: Close job. Close bank account.

[Liz screams as Uncle Willie pinches her on the rear]

Macaulay Connor: Don't DO that!

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: I... I feel exactly as though I'd been pinched.

Seth Lord: Don't you think you weren't.

Dinah Lord: Oh, it won't rain. Tracy won't stand for it.

[Mike discovers the intercom in the Lords' house]

Macaulay Connor: Uh-oh, Liz, what did I tell you? Look, how do you like this - living room, sitting room, terrace, pool, stables.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: That's probably so they can talk to the horses without having them in the house.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: We've come for the body of Macaulay Connor.

C. K. Dexter Haven: I'm so glad you came. Can you use a typewriter?

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: No, thanks, I've got one at home.

Tracy Lord: Dexter, would you mind doing something for me?

C. K. Dexter Haven: Anything. What?

Tracy Lord: Get the heck out of here.

Macaulay Connor: Look, who's doing the interviewing here?

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: Do you think she caught on somehow?

Macaulay Connor: No, she was born like that, don't let her throw you.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: Do you want to take over?

Macaulay Connor: I want to go home!

Dinah Lord: [describing her "dream" to Tracy] Do you know what I saw coming out of the woods?

Tracy Lord: I haven't the faintest idea, a skunk?

Tracy Lord: [taking the perfume out of the car] This is your Uncle Willy's favorite, Complete Surrender.

Tracy Lord: I can't make you out at all now.

Macaulay Connor: I thought I was easy.

Tracy Lord: So did I. But you're not. You talk so big and tough and then you write like this. Which is which?

Macaulay Connor: Both. I guess.

Tracy Lord: No. No, I believe you put the toughness down to save your skin.

Macaulay Connor: You think so?

Tracy Lord: Yes. I know a little about that.

Macaulay Connor: You do?

Tracy Lord: Quite a lot.

Macaulay Connor: C.K. Dexter Haven, I would like to talk to you.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Well, let's go in the talking room.

Uncle Willie: [watching Kittredge clumsily mount a horse] Heigh Ho Silver.

George Kittredge: But a man expects his wife to...

Tracy Lord: Behave herself. Naturally.

C. K. Dexter Haven: To behave herself naturally.

[George gives him a look]

C. K. Dexter Haven: Sorry.

Sidney Kidd: Anyway, presented for the first time, quote: A wedding day inside mainline society.

Macaulay Connor: Or what the kitchen maid saw through the keyhole. Unquote.

Macaulay Connor: My father was a history teacher.

Tracy Lord: English history has always fascinated me. Robin Hood, Cromwell, Jack the Ripper. Where did he teach? Your father I mean.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: [referring to Dinah] What's this?

Macaulay Connor: Idiot, probably.

George Kittredge: [to horse] What's the matter, Bessie? You seem worried.

Dinah Lord: Maybe that's because his name is Jack.

Margaret Lord: I think that dress hikes up a little behind...

Dinah Lord: No, it's me that does.

Librarian: What is thee wish?

Macaulay Connor: I'm looking for some local b - what'd you say?

Librarian: What is thee wish?

Macaulay Connor: Um, local biography or history.

Librarian: If thee will consult with my colleague in there.

Macaulay Connor: Mm-hm. Dost thou have a washroom?

[the librarian points]

Macaulay Connor: Thank thee.

Macaulay Connor: C.K. Dexter Haven, what kind of a name is that?

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: Macaulay Connor is no homespun tag, my pet.

Macaulay Connor: Yeah, well you just try calling him Macaulay.

Tracy Lord: English history has always facinated me. Cromwell, Robin Hood, Jack the Ripper. Where did he teach? You're father, I mean.

Tracy Lord: How do I look?

Seth Lord: Like a queen. Like a goddess.

Tracy Lord: And do you know how I feel?

Seth Lord: How?

Tracy Lord: Like a human. Like a human being.