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A Chump at Oxford (1940) Poster

Quotes

Stan: This joint is really screwy! There's a gent over there who just said he wants his salad served undressed!

Ollie: Well, you heard what he said - serve the salad undressed!

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Student: Pardon me sir, but haven't you come to the wrong college?

Ollie: This is Oxford isn't it?

Student: Yes but, you're dressed for Eton

Stan: Just as well, we haven't eaten since breakfast

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[last lines]

Stan: Ollie, where ya goin'?

Ollie: Back to America for me!

Stan: Ollie?

Ollie: What?

Stan: [starts to cry] You're going without me...

Ollie: Stan! You know me!

Stan: Well, of course I know you... What do you have, one of those dizzy spells?

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Stan: Hey, Ollie look...

[spans the distance from England to America on a globe with his thumb and forefinger - about two inches]

Stan: We're only this far from home.

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Ollie: Einstein?... if it wasn't for that bump on the head he wouldn't know Einstein from a beer stein...

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Stan: [as Lord Paddington, looking at Oliver Hardy] Meredith, who is this coarse person?

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Ollie: [refering to the Dean] Have you ever seen a face like that anyhwere but in a zoo?

Stan: Sure... in a monkey house.

Ollie: A monkey house!

[laughs]

Ollie: I never thought of that!

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Stan: Fatty, lift up your chin. No no no, both of them!

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Stan: He must have one of those dizzy spells.

Ollie: Yeah, he's a dizzy dean!

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Student: Dirty snitchers.

Stan: [as Lord Paddington] Repeat that remark again.

Student: [with entire student group] Dirty snitchers!

Stan: [as Lord Paddington,sternly] Have a care...

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Ollie: [in the maze] Where are you?

Stan: I'm over here... where are you?

Ollie: I'm here.

Stan: How can you be here if I'm here?

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Meredith: [speaking of Lord Paddington] And when he got angry, he would wiggle his ears in the most extraordinary fashion, and he would fight like a demon.

Ollie: Fight like demon...

[to Stan]

Ollie: Wiggle your ears.

Stan: Huh?

Ollie: [sternly] Wiggle your ears!

Stan: [Stan tries to wiggle his ears] I can't wiggle my ears.

Ollie: Of course not; it's another rib.

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Student: We're going to run you out of Oxford; and if you don't go, we'll take of your britches and throw you out!

Stan: [as Lord Paddington] What? Take off my britches? In the presence of Meredith?

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Dean Williams: Professor Einstein of Princeton is having trouble with his theory; could you possible give him just a little time...

Stan: [as Lord Paddington] Of course... Fatty, hand me my memorandum

[Ollie gives it to him... he leafs through it]

Stan: Let's see... Monday, Tuesday... suppose we make it Ash Wednesday... invite him for lunch, I'm having pancakes.

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Student: [with entire student body, marching] Fe, fi,fo,fum. We want the blood of an American. Be he alive, or be he dead, we'll break his bones to make our bread. We'll beat those Yankees like a drum. We'll send them back where they came from

[pointing at their window]

Student: Fe, fi, fo, fum.

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Ollie: [to Meredith about Stan] Brilliant mind?

[laughs]

Ollie: Why, I've known him for years, and he's the dumbest guy I ever saw. Aren't you, Stanley?

Stan: I certainly am!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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