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Way Out West (1937) Poster

(1937)

Quotes

Oliver: A lot of weather we've been having lately!

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Oliver: Well, fan my brow! I'm from the South!

Mary Roberts: You are?

Stan: Well, shut my mouth! I'm from the South too!

Oliver: The South of what, sir?

Stan: The South of London.

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Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale: Tell me, tell me about my dear, dear Daddy! Is it true that he's dead?

Stan: Well, we hope he is, they buried him.

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Stan: Your hat's dry.

Oliver: Oh that reminds me, you made a statement this afternoon.

Stan: Did I?

Oliver: Mmm-hmmm. You said if we didn't get the deed, you'd eat my hat.

Stan: Oh, now you're taking me literally.

Oliver: Nevertheless, I'm going to teach you not to make rash promises.

[Puts hat in his lap]

Oliver: Eat the hat.

Stan: Oh that's silly. Whoever heard of anybody eating a hat?

Oliver: Whoever heard of anybody doing *that*.

[Immitates Stan's thumb lighter gimmick]

Oliver: Eat the hat!

Stan: [Gives it back] I won't do it.

Oliver: [Slams it back in his lap] If you don't eat that hat, I'll tie you to a tree and let the buzzards get you!

Stan: Would you really do that?

Oliver: I certainly would.

[Stan says something incoherant due to him crying]

Oliver: [Showing no sympathy] Eat it.

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Ollie: [Talking to Lola posing as Mary Roberts] Little lady, you've heard the worst. Now, prepare yourself for the best. Now cheer up. Smile. That's right. Remember: ''every cloud has a silver lining''.

Stan: [in an attempt to wax poetic like Ollie] That's right - any bird can build a nest, but it isn't every one that can lay an egg.

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Ollie: We'll all go down to Dixie. Oh, for a slice of possum and yam. Mm!

Stan: Yes sir, and some good old fish and chips. I can smell 'em.

Ollie: [disgusted] Fish and chips!

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Oliver: This is another nice mess you've gotten me into!

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Sheriff: [having just gotten a tearful earful from his distraught wife about The Boys' having romantically harassed her on the coach] Fiddlin', huh?

Oliver: [absent-mindedly nods in agreement, then hastily shakes his head rapidly and forcefully, realizing that he should not be admitting to any wrongdoing]

Sheriff: Well... we don't like your kind around these parts! And there's one thing in this here town - - we DON'T allow! And that's messing with our women! Now, if you want to stay healthy, you'll catch the next coach out of town.

Oliver: Yes, sir. We'll be right on our way just as soon as we finish up with our business.

Sheriff: And if you MISS the next coach...

Sheriff: [draws revolver]

Sheriff: You'll be riding out of here in a HEARSE!

Sheriff: [slides the gun back into his holster with an angry shove] G'day, strangers!

[walks away huffily]

Stan: [with an innocently cheerful friendly wave after the departing sheriff, showing that he fails to grasp the gravity of the situation] Goodbye...!

Oliver: [hastiy shushing him] Let well enough alone!

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Patron: Hey Finn, you're a lucky man to have a swell gal like that.

Mickey Finn: Yeah I... What are you talking about? She's the lucky one to have a swell guy like me!

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Lola Marcel: It can't be. What did he die of?

Stan: I think he died of a Tuesday, or was it a Wednesday?

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Stan: Do you mind if I have another idea?

Ollie: If it's anything like the last one, yes.

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Stan: We want to know why you're not Mary Roberts!

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Stan: Wait a minute, while I spit on me hands.

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Lola Marcel: [shows Finn the deed] Ha - *ha*!

Mickey Finn: Ho - *ho*!

Ollie: [grabs the deed] He - *he*!

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Mickey Finn: I'm Mary's legal guardian. What do you want to see her for?

Ollie: [smiling and shutting his eyes in his famous charming disarming way] Well, sir, we aren't supposed to talk about that to anyone else.

Stan: [attempting to speak in a serious, slightly self-important tone, but obviously just blabbing away carelessly] Yeah, you see, it's PRIVATE. Her father died and left her a gold mine, and we're not supposed tell it to anyone but her, right Ollie?

Ollie: [looking disgusted at Stan's stupidity] Now that he's taken you into our CONFIDENCE...

[gives Stan an annoyed shove]

Ollie: You might as well know the rest!

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Mickey Finn: Can you do it?

Lola Marcel: [scoffs] Can I do it? For a gold mine, I could be Cleopatra!

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Mickey Finn: [enters room] Lola, Lola, we've got a fortune right in the palm of our hand!

Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale: What do you mean?

Mickey Finn: There's a couple of desert rats downstairs looking for Mary Roberts.

Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale: What about it?

Mickey Finn: They've got a deed to a very valuable gold mine left to her by her father, and they're here to deliver it to her in person.

Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale: Well, ain't that just grand!

Mickey Finn: It would be... if you were Mary Roberts.

Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale: I gotcha, but I'd never get away with it.

Mickey Finn: Sure you would; they've never seen Mary Roberts.

Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale: Then it's a cinch!

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Mickey Finn: [from the staircase] Hey! If you come upstairs, I'll introduce you to Mary Roberts.

Oliver: Right away, sir.

Mary Roberts: [enters from the kitchen] Did you call me, Mr. Finn?

Mickey Finn: [runs down the stairs] Ohhh! Get back into the kitchen where you belong! Go ahead now, don't bother me!

[goes up the stairs to his residence]

Mickey Finn: This way gentlemen, come right this way.

[stumbles on the staircase]

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Mickey Finn: [the real Mary knocks at the door] Who's there?

Mary Roberts: Mary.

Stan: Mary who?

Mickey Finn: [nervously] Mary - Merry Christmas. Ohhh...

[opens the door]

Mary Roberts: Excuse me, Mr. Finn, one of these gentlemen dropped this at the foot of the stairs.

Ollie: [takes the deed from her hands, not recognizing her as the real Mary] Oh, oh why thank you, little lady, you don't know what you've done, thanks!

Mickey Finn: [shows Mary out of the room, closing the door] All right, all right, all right.

Ollie: [hands the deed to Lola, unaware that she's pretending to be Mary] There you are: signed, sealed, and now delivered.

Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale: Oh, thank you so much.

Ollie: Not at all.

[Mickey Finn utters a sigh of exhausted relief]

Ollie: Come Stanley, we'd better be going.

Stan: Oh say, what about the locket?

Ollie: That's right I...

Stan: We've got something else for you.

Ollie: I almost forgot it.

[puts on his derby and loosens his necktie]

Ollie: And besides that...

[unbuttons his shirt and takes out the locket]

Ollie: your father left you this family heirloom.

Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale: Oh yes, I - I remember it well.

Ollie: Help me get it off, Stanley.

[Ollie loosens his collar while Stan tries to take the locket chain off of Ollie's neck by pulling it up around his chin]

Stan: Am I hurting you?

Ollie: No, just a minute.

Stan: Won't be long.

[Stan tries again to take the chain off of Ollie]

Stan: Maybe I'd better try and open it again.

Ollie: I think so.

[Stan loosens Ollie's collar to get to the clasp]

Stan: It slipped.

[Stan unbuttons Ollie's shirt]

Stan: Maybe you'd better take your coat off.

Ollie: [starts to take off his coat] Pardon me just a minute.

[Stan removes Ollie's necktie and collar; Ollie takes his suspenders off and the locket falls down his trousers leg to the floor]

Ollie: [Stan reaches up Ollie's back and finds a thread, Ollie breaks the thread and discovers an unraveled undergarment] We'll find it in just a moment.

[Ollie takes off his shirt, and Stan notices the locket on the floor and picks it up]

Ollie: We got it.

[Stan hands the locket to Lola]

Ollie: I'm gonna go in and change, pardon us.

[Ollie goes into the bedroom to put his clothes back on, and Stan follows]

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Stan: [Ollie lays his clothes on the bed, Stan sits down] Say Ollie?

Oliver: What?

Stan: Now that you've got your clothes off, why don't you take a bath?,

Oliver: Would you mind leaving the room? Can't I ever have a little privacy?

Stan: I was just trying to kill two birds with one stone.

Mickey Finn: [in the living room] And I'll take care of those two bozos and get them out of town.

Lola Marcel: [Stan opens the door and overhears Lola talking to Mickey] Don't worry, leave everything to me. I've done pretty good up to now, haven't I?

Stan: You certainly have, I wish you were in my shoes.

Mickey Finn: Eh-hrm, oh how about a drink on the house?

Oliver: That suits me fine.

Stan: How'd you get dressed so quick?

Oliver: None of your business.

[Finn goes to open his front door]

Oliver: Goodbye Miss Roberts, and thanks for the use of your boudoir.

Lola Marcel: You're very welcome.

Stan: Goodbye. Now that you've got the mine, I bet you'll be a swell gold-digger.

[Ollie pushes Stan out the door as Finn leaves the room]

Lola Marcel: [Lola examines the deed as Finn re-enters the room a moment later, hiding the deed behind her back] What did you leave them for?

Mickey Finn: I'll send her right up, you have her sign that deed over to us.

Lola Marcel: Oh, don't worry about me, get those guys out of town, and pronto!

Mickey Finn: All right!

[Finn goes down to the saloon]

Lola Marcel: What a cinch!

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Lead Singer of the Avalon Boys: On a mountain in Virginia / Stands a lonesome pine / Just below is the cabin home / Of a little girl of mine

Oliver: Her name is June and very, very soon / She'll belong to me / For I know she's waiting there for me / 'Neath that lone pine tree

StanOliver: In the Blue Ridge mountains of Virginia / On the trail of the lonesome pine / In the pale moonshine, our hearts entwine / Where she carved her name and I carved mine / Oh June, just like the mountains, I'm blue / Like the pine, I am lonesome for you

StanOliver: Oo, oo, oo

StanOliver: In the Blue Ridge mountains of Virginia / On the trail of the lonesome pine

Stan's Bass Singing (uncredited): [Stan starts singing in a deep bass voice] In the Blue Ridge mountains of Virginia / On the trail of the lonesome pine / In the pale moonshine, our hearts entwine / Where she carved her name and I carved mine /

[Ollie talks to the bartender, who gives him a mallet]

Stan's Bass Singing (uncredited): / Oh June, like the mountains I'm blue / Like the pine, I am lonesome for you

Stan's Falsetto Voice (uncredited): [Ollie hits Stan with a mallet; Stan's voice changes to a high falsetto] In the Blue Ridge mountains of Virginia / On the trail of the lonesome piiiine

[song ends with Stan falling down; his head hits a cuspidor and he snores]

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Ollie: [Mary comes downstairs] Goodbye, Miss... uh... Miss... uh...

Mary Roberts: Roberts, Mary Roberts.

Ollie: Goodbye, Miss Roberts.

Stan: Goodbye.

Ollie: [Stan and Ollie stop walking, Ollie does a double take] Did you hear what she said her name was?

Stan: Sure, Mary Roberts.

Ollie: How can she be Mary Roberts when we've just given the deed to Mary Roberts?

Stan: I don't know.

[Stan crushes out a cigar butt with his shoe]

Ollie: I smell a rat.

Stan: I smell something too.

[Stan discovers his shoe is smoking from the cigar butt, dunks his feet into the janitor's water pail]

Ollie: Come on.

[Stan and Ollie go back to the kitchen; they remove their hats]

Ollie: Pardon me, did you ever have a father by the name of Cy Roberts?

Mary Roberts: Why, yes. He left me here with these people years ago when he went prospecting.

Ollie: Well, who's that woman upstairs?

Mary Roberts: That's Lola Marcel, Mr. Finn's wife. She's my legal guardian now.

Stan: [Stan taps Ollie on the shoulder, and accidentally bangs his head on a hanging frying pan] Can I speak to you for a minute?

Ollie: Pardon us.

Stan: Yeah, we'll be right back.

[Stan and Ollie head for the main hall]

Stan: You know what?

Ollie: What?

Stan: I think we've given that deed to the wrong woman. That's the first mistake we've made since that guy sold us the Brooklyn Bridge.

Ollie: Oh, buying that bridge was no mistake. That's gonna be worth a lot of money to us someday.

Stan: Well, maybe you're right. We'd better go and get the deed.

Ollie: Say, maybe they won't give it back to us.

Stan: What do you mean, they won't give it back to us? We'll get that deed, or I'll eat your hat.

Ollie: That's what I call determination.

[Ollie shakes Stan's hand; they head upstairs]

Ollie: Come on.

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Stan: [Ollie knocks on the door] Who's there?

Ollie: Me.

Stan: Me who?

Ollie: [annoyed] "Me who?"

[Ollie knocks again, this time on Mickey Finn's head]

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Stan: [Ollie knocks on Mickey Finn's door] Who's there?

Ollie: Me.

Stan: Me, who?

Ollie: [annoyed at Stan's response] "Me, who?"

[Mickey Finn goes to the door, Ollie knocks on his head]

Mickey Finn: Well - What do you want?

Ollie: Out of my way, you snake in the grass!

[Ollie brushes Finn aside]

Stan: You toad in the hole.

[Stan yanks Finn's necktie, Finn kicks Stan in retaliation]

Lola Marcel: Say you slugs, what do you mean busting in here like this?

Stan: We want to know why you are not Mary Roberts.

Ollie: I'll take care of this matter.

Lola Marcel: So you got wise, huh? Well, if it's this deed you're after, you're just out of luck.

[Ollie grabs the deed from Lola, and a chase ensues]

Lola Marcel: Give that back to me!

Ollie: Take it, Stan!

[Ollie pursues Mickey Finn]

Ollie: Beat it!

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Mickey Finn: [holding a pistol] Now, get out of here!

[knock on the door]

Mickey Finn: Who's there?

Sheriff: The sheriff.

Ollie: Just in the nick of time! Now we'll get justice! Come in, Sheriff, you're just the man I'm looking for!

Sheriff: And you're just the man I'm looking for.

Ollie: Oh thank you, this man -

[Ollie recognizes the Sheriff whose wife was pestered by Stan and Ollie in the stagecoach]

Ollie: Ohhh!

[Stan laughs hysterically]

Sheriff: [Ollie taps Stan on the shoulder, he stops laughing] I thought I told you two dudes to catch the next coach out of town.

Ollie: [meekly] Yes, sir.

Sheriff: Well, it left ten minutes ago.

Ollie: It did? Well, maybe we'd better try and catch it.

Sheriff: Well, I'd say you'd better!

[the Sheriff fires his guns, chasing Stan and Ollie out of town]

Sheriff: Look at 'em go!

Mickey Finn: Ha, you can't see 'em for dust!

[Sheriff laughs]

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Maw: Have you seen my husband?

Barfly: Yeah, there he is, over there.

Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale: [sings] Won't you be my ownsome / My little turtle dove?

Paw - Bearded Miner at Saloon: [starts hugging the miner] Will I?

[laughs, Lola goes back to the stage]

Paw - Bearded Miner at Saloon: Waiter, I want a big bottle of wine, right over here! Come on, bring it over here, this beer's no good!

[the miner's wife confronts him]

Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale: [continues singing] My loving honey man...

Paw - Bearded Miner at Saloon: [closes his eyes, thinking he's kissing Lola] Sweetheart!

[opens his eyes to discover he just kissed his wife, who escorts him out of the saloon]

Paw - Bearded Miner at Saloon: Oh!

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[last lines]

StanOllieMary Roberts: [singing] We're going to go, we're going to go / We're going to go way down in Dixie / Where the hens are doggone glad to lay / Scrambled eggs in the new-mown hay / We're going to see, we're going to see / We're going to see my home in Dixie / You can tell the world we're going to...

OllieMary Roberts: D - I - X...

Stan: [music stops] I know how to spell it.

OllieMary Roberts: [music resumes] Then we're going,

Stan: [sings separately] All right, we're going,

OllieMary Roberts: You know we're going,

Stan: [sings] You bet we're going

StanOllieMary Roberts: To our home in Dixie land / We're going to go way down in Dixie / Where the hens are doggone glad to lay / Scrambled eggs in the new-mown hay / We're going to see, we're going to see...

[song fades out as Ollie falls into the creek]

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Lead Singer of the Avalon Boys: On a mountain in Virginia / Stands a lonesome pine / Just below is the cabin home / Of a little girl of mine

Oliver: Her name is June and very, very soon / She'll belong to me / For I know she's waiting there for me / 'Neath that lone pine tree

StanOliver: In the Blue Ridge mountains of Virginia / On the trail of the lonesome pine / In the pale moonshine, our hearts entwine / Where she carved her name and I carved mine / Oh June, just like the mountains, I'm blue / Like the pine, I am lonesome for you

Oliver: Oo-oo-oo

StanOliver: In the Blue Ridge mountains of Virginia / On the trail of the lonesome pine

Stan's Bass Singing (uncredited): [Stan starts singing in a deep bass voice] In the Blue Ridge mountains of Virginia / On the trail of the lonesome pine / In the pale moonshine, our hearts entwine / Where she carved her name and I carved mine /

[Ollie talks to the bartender, who gives him a mallet]

Stan's Bass Singing (uncredited): / Oh June, like the mountains I'm blue / Like the pine, I am lonesome for you

Stan's Falsetto Voice (uncredited): [Ollie hits Stan with a mallet; Stan's voice changes to a high falsetto] In the Blue Ridge mountains of Virginia / On the trail of the lonesome piiiine

[song ends with Stan falling down; his head hits a cuspidor and he snores]

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Mickey Finn: [crowd chants "We want Lola! We want Lola! We want Lola!"] And now gentlemen, it has always been my aim to give you the best entertainment that money can buy. I have brought here at great expense...

Patron: Aw, get a piece of fat and slide off!

Mickey Finn: Who said that?

[a customer fires a gun and the shot blows Finn's top hat from his head, laughter and a scream are heard]

Mickey Finn: All right, you'll get Lola!

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The Avalon Boys: [singing] Commence advancin', commence advancin'/ Just start a prancin', right and left a-glancin'/ A moochee dancin', slide and glide entrancin'/ You do the tango jiggle/ With a Texas Tommy wiggle...

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Stan: Now that you've got your clothes off, why don't you take a bath.

Oliver: Would you mind leaving the room. Can't I ever have a little privacy?

Oliver: Well, I was just trying to kill two birds with one stone.

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Mickey Finn: Splendid. Splendid!

Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale: She fell for it, like you fell for me.

Mickey Finn: Lola, my gal, we're sittin' pretty.

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The Mule: Shhhhh!

Oliver: Shhhhh!

Stan: Shhhhh!

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[Finn pushes the $1 key on the cash register and .10 shows up, he opens the cash register case to examine it, and .10 appears when he presses the $1 key again]

[first lines]

Mickey Finn: Hey, this thing ain't workin' right.

Bartender: It's working all right for me.

[Finn does a double take]

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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