Dizzy Doctors (1937)
Moe: [while "polishing" a man's shoe with Brighto] Remember sir, Brighto! You'll never forget it as long as you live!
[removes the rag to realize that the Brighto has eaten right through the man's shoe]
Moe: And neither will I!
Moe: [In a hospital, in a room with a microphone connected to the loudspeaker, hits the three skulls to make a musical jingle then hits Curly on the head] Hello, everybody, we just brought the moon over the mountain.
Curly: Hello, Ma. Hello, Pa. It wasn't much of a fight. I stood like that. But not for long.
[Moe hits him on the head]
Moe: Quiet. This broadcast comes to you through the courtesy of Brighto. And it's six delicious flavors. Chocolate, Vanilla, Cranberry, Strawberry.
Curly: And raspberry.
[Moe slaps him]
Curly: Ow. It's still raspberry.
[Sticks his tongue out, Moe hits him on the head]
Moe: Now keep quiet or I'll sock you again.
Larry: Are you listening. V-v-v-voo. V-v-v-voo. V-v-v...
[Moe hits him with a backhand punch in the face]
Moe: Now, don't go away, gentlemen. We'll soon be with you.
Moe: Brighto, Brighto, makes old bodies new!
Larry: We'll sell a million bottles!
Curly: Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo!
Dr. Bright: Well boys, how did it go?
Curly: We rubbed it on a man's car, and it took the paint right off. That polish ain't no good.
Dr. Bright: Polish? You idiots, that's medicine!
[Curly drinks a bottle]
Curly: I feel better already!
Moe: What was wrong with you?
[Moe slaps Curly]
Dr. Bright: Have you ever sold anything?
Larry: Have we ever SOLD anything!
Moe: Have we ever SOLD anything!
Curly: Have we?
Curly: Hey, what's this stuff for anyway?
Larry: Why it's a cleaner, you chump.
Curly: I know. It's auto polish.
Moe: You boys really want to know what it's for?
Moe: It's for sale. Now get busy selling it.
Policeman: [Larry is standing next to a fence with one leg hidden to look crippled] Oh I'm sorry buddy. I didn't notice the leg was gone.
Larry: Huh? Oh yeah, gone but not forgotten.
Policeman: War, eh?
Larry: No, banana peel.