Dimples: Sometimes I wonder if men are worth all the trouble they give us.
Children's Band Member: It's the Professor. He's picked a pocket again.
Dimples: You take that back! You can't "inflect" on my grandfather like that! Take it back!
Children's Band Member: All right.
Dimples: You don't think the Professor would take anything that didn't belong to him?
Children's Band Member: That's just the trouble with the Professor. He doesn't seem to know what belongs to him and what doesn't.
Dimples: The Professor's one of the "honestest" men in the world!
Allen Drew: Cunning, aren't they? Especially that little one.
Betty Loring: Wouldn't it be amusing to have them play at our wedding reception? We could dress them up, and... Allen, you're not listening.
Allen Drew: What? Oh, our wedding. Yes, yes, of course.
Betty Loring: Allen?
Allen Drew: What?
Betty Loring: Never mind.
Dimples: I didn't steal anything. Honest, I didn't. I'm too little. Won't you let me go?
Mrs. Caroline Drew: Where would you go?
Mrs. Caroline Drew: Where's home?
Dimples: With the Professor.
Mrs. Caroline Drew: The Professor? Who's the Professor?
Dimples: Oh, don't you know him? Why, everybody knows the Professor. He's a fine gentleman and an "aristocrack."
Dimples: Why did you take that clock?
Prof. Eustace Appleby: Clock? What clock? I remember no clock.
Dimples: The one you put your hat over. I saw you.
Prof. Eustace Appleby: Why, of course not. You ought to know that I wouldn't take a small clock like that. I - I mean, I wouldn't take any clock, large or small. After all, my dear child, I'm a musician, not a thief.
Dimples: All right, Professor.
Dimples: I brought it back.
Mrs. Caroline Drew: Brought what back?
Dimples: The cuckoo clock. I stole it last night. It's a funny thing about me. I'm so wicked. Isn't it awful?
Mrs. Caroline Drew: You stole this?
Dimples: Right under your very nose. I really don't know what's to become of me, I'm so bad. The Professor says he doesn't know. He says I'm gonna wind up in the "pinchitentiary," if not in jail.
Mrs. Caroline Drew: Are you sure someone else didn't take this?
Dimples: Oh, my goodness! You don't mean the Professor, do you? He wouldn't take it, he's too honest! He made me bring it back!
Mrs. Caroline Drew: Allen, maybe you can explain this.
Allen Drew: Explain what, Aunt Caroline?
Betty Loring: I want to break our engagement, Allen.
Allen Drew: Oh.
Mrs. Caroline Drew: Is that all you can say?
Allen Drew: I'm sorry it had to happen this way, but I think Betty is right. It would be the best thing for both of us.
Mrs. Caroline Drew: But why? I don't understand.
Col. Jasper Loring: I'll tell you why. It's common gossip that Allen has become involved with an actress, that he spends most of his time with these low people of the theater! He's even talking about putting up money to produce a play for this creature!
Mrs. Caroline Drew: Of all things, an actress! Allen, how could you? You know how I hate the theater and all it stands for.
Allen Drew: I love her, and we're going to be married.
Mrs. Caroline Drew: Married? Allen, you can't. I won't let you ruin your life!
Allen Drew: My mind is made up, Aunt Caroline.
Mrs. Caroline Drew: You're an ungrateful, disobedient, shameless boy, and as long as you live under this roof, I must insist that you observe my wishes.
Allen Drew: In that case, I'll have to look for another place to stay.
Mrs. Caroline Drew: Professor, your granddaughter is a remarkable child, an appealing child. As briefly as I've known her, I've become very fond of her.
Prof. Eustace Appleby: That's easy to see, Mrs. Drew, and easy to understand, too.
Mrs. Caroline Drew: In fact, I'm so fond of her, I want to propose something to you, something for her good. I'm going to ask you to let her come and live with me and let me do all I can for her.
Prof. Eustace Appleby: You mean I - I should give Dimples up?
Mrs. Caroline Drew: This sort of life isn't what a child should have. You know that. For all your love and devotion, you aren't helping Dimples. You're hurting her. You may ruin her whole life.
Prof. Eustace Appleby: But I - I love Dimples.
Mrs. Caroline Drew: I know. That's why I'm asking this of you.
Prof. Eustace Appleby: I was quite a matinee idol in those days, you know. I still get letters from ladies in the towns where I played.
Dimples: Yes, landladies.
Allen Drew: You've done an excellent job.
Prof. Eustace Appleby: Yes, and know I'll need ninety-five dollars for advertising.
Allen Drew: As long as you're paying the bills, I think it'd save time if you handled all the money.
Allen Drew: Here it is, about eight hundred dollars. It's all the cash I have left and just enough to finance the rest of the production.
Prof. Eustace Appleby: Uh, all right. You, uh, trust me with all this?
Allen Drew: Yes, of course.
Prof. Eustace Appleby: Well, thank you very much, Allen, for your faith in me. I'll, uh, handle this money just as though it were my own.
Emery T. Hawkins: Mr. Drew, you told us he would pay us our money.
Allen Drew: Yes, of course. Pay them, Professor.
Prof. Eustace Appleby: Well, I, uh, I don't like their attitude, Allen. I've never heard of people doing business in this way.
Allen Drew: Why argue? Pay them and get it over with.
Prof. Eustace Appleby: Well, the truth is, I find myself a little short.
Allen Drew: Short? How much?
Prof. Eustace Appleby: Well, around eight hundred dollars.
Allen Drew: But that's all the money I gave you!
Prof. Eustace Appleby: It wasn't my fault, Allen. I was cheated!
Allen Drew: That's all the money I had! I was stupid enough to trust a scoundrel like you, you blundering old fool!
Prof. Eustace Appleby: But I didn't mean to do it, Dimples. Don't you see?
Dimples: You broke your promise to me!
Prof. Eustace Appleby: But the man swore to me. He gave me his word.
Dimples: You told me you wouldn't steal anymore! You said you were gonna be honest!
Prof. Eustace Appleby: But I didn't take that watch for myself, I - well, uh, I - I guess I'm not much good to you. Maybe you'd be better off without me.
Cleo Marsh: But I thought you had money, Allen.
Allen Drew: I did. Enough, anyway. I guess I didn't take care of it very well.
Cleo Marsh: Well, what are you going to do now?
Allen Drew: I suppose I could get a job somewhere, and maybe save up enough money to do the show. That needn't change our plans about marriage any, Cleo. I don't suppose money is very important to people who are really in love.
Cleo Marsh: You can say that because you've always had money.
Allen Drew: Perhaps.
Cleo Marsh: I'm afraid this changes everything.
Allen Drew: Then you're not really in love with me.
Dimples: Mrs. Drew, do you still think I'm worth five thousand dollars?
Mrs. Caroline Drew: You're worth ever so much more, darling.
Dimples: And do you still want me to come and live with you?
Mrs. Caroline Drew: I'd like nothing more in the world.
Dimples: All right, I'll come. Do you have the five thousand dollars with you?
Prof. Eustace Appleby: You're a very lucky little girl, and I'm glad to see that Mrs. Drew has given you such a good home.
Dimples: [crying] It isn't every little girl who can have such a good "envinoment."
Prof. Eustace Appleby: Oh, darling, I'm taking you home.
Dimples: No, Professor. Mrs. Drew says I'm gonna have a lot of advantages here.
Prof. Eustace Appleby: No place is nice for my little girl when it makes her cry. You're coming home with me.
Dimples: But if I stay here, you won't have to go to jail, and you can give Allen back his money.
Dimples: I won't go to jail, sweetie.
Col. Jasper Loring: Well, Allen's play opens tonight. I'm afraid Betty is still fond of Allen, but I've forbidden her to see him.
Mrs. Caroline Drew: Have you?
Col. Jasper Loring: Yes, the theater's ruined that young man.
Allen Drew: Betty! This is the nicest surprise I've had.
Betty Loring: I came to wish you good luck.
Allen Drew: This is good luck, Betty. I didn't think you'd ever look at me again after the fool I made of myself.
Betty Loring: I'm willing to forget all that, Allen, but Father never will. If he knew I'd come here, he'd be in a rage.
Dimples: What's the matter?
Prof. Eustace Appleby: Everything's all right, dear. I just want to have a talk with these gentlemen here for a few minutes.
Policeman: Never mind that! He's under arrest for stealing a thousand dollars.
Prof. Eustace Appleby: But I didn't take the money for myself. I took it to pay Allen back. Really.
Policeman: Oh, come on!
Dimples: You leave him alone! He didn't steal anything from you!
Mrs. Caroline Drew: I'm sorry, darling, but you're better off without him.
Allen Drew: You'd better hurry, Dimples. It's almost time for the last act.
Dimples: No! I'm going to jail with the Professor!
Dimples: I love you, Professor.
Prof. Eustace Appleby: And I'm going to make myself worthy of that love.