The Commandant is making life rough for the colonials in Spanish California. While trying to help, Zorro is charged with the murder of the new Governor, but in the end he triumphs over the evil Commandant.
Playboy Michael "Mike" Vance, Jr.is night-clubbing in New York City with Natalie. Natalie is shallow. Mike doesn't care. Mike and Natalie join a scavenger hunt and break-in a pet shop to ... See full summary »
Midshipman Roger Byam joins Captain Bligh and Fletcher Christian aboard the HMS Bounty for a voyage to Tahiti. Bligh proves to be a brutal tyrant and, after six pleasant months on Tahiti, ... See full summary »
In the South Seas, Bill Jones, captain of the schooner "Marigold", is known as Captain Calamity as he is quick to fight or frolic. Stone broke on the island of Quica and with his ship in need or re-stocking, Bill accepts an ancient Spanish doubloon from a young Australian named Carr in exchange for taking him to Tapillo, where Carr can take a ship to Sydney. Bill gives the doubloon to trader Joblin for supplies, and does not bother to correct the trader's impression that he has found a fabulous horde of pirate gold. With Madame Gruen, a slatternly jade who runs a waterfront boarding house, and Samson, her oily paramour, Joblin schemes to seize Captain Bill's supposed treasure trove. Together, they gather a a crew of cutthroats, led by Black Pierre, leader of the scum of the waterfront dives, to seize the treasure. Bill also meets Dr. Kelkey, loser in many bouts with a brandy bottle, and his ward, Madge Lewis, on a mission to find the man who murdered and robbed her father in Australia... Written by
Les Adams <firstname.lastname@example.org>
When Captain Jones and Carr leave the first island, the first shots as they go to the boat show their shadows to right. When they get closer to Mike, their shadows (and Mike's) are now to the left. See more »
Dr. James Kelkey:
You're one of the richest men on earth, Bill. All the money in the world couldn't buy that body of yours.
Captain Bill Jones:
Yeah, I suppose I oughta be thankful. The trouble is, it costs so much to feed it.
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Captain Calamity is an early pirate film about Captain Bill Jones, a sailor who accepts a gold coin for transporting a man. When he pays off with the gold coin, speculation spreads that he has a treasure. Soon after, a band of pirates are after him and the gold. The plot was really strange and convoluted, so the details were lost to me. This is partly because because the technical mistakes were so distracting that it was hard to care about anything. When watching the film, I quickly realized that it was a complete mess. I was foolish and had vowed to watch through the whole thing, resulting in one of my worst movie experiences.
The acting is downright horrible. Captain Bill Jones could have been quite a charismatic character, but he ends up being a complete clown. The other acting was just as terrible, and the characters themselves were bland and forgettable. I could not bring myself to care about any single character. The dialog was also terrible.
The camera-work is some of the sloppiest I have ever seen. There is no sense of orientation because nearly all the scenes focus directly on the characters or their faces, so the surrounding environment is a complete mystery. This leads to immense continuity confusion. It does not help that the editing is also bad; the scene changes seem very jerky and unnatural.
Captain Calamity fails on every level that I judge movies on. I had no fun at all; I was hoping that the (potentially) exciting seafaring theme might overshadow the problems, but it was nowhere near the case. I do not even want to think about watching the movie again, ever. It looks like Captain Calamity is largely forgotten or ignored by today's viewers, which I think is a worthy fate.
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