Uncivil Warriors (1935)
Operator 15: You know I quit my job at that bakery.
Miss Judith Buttz: Why?
Operator 15: Oh, I got sick of the dough and thought I'd go on the loaf.
[sound of Moe slapping Curly]
Operator 15: Oh!
Operator 14: What did you'll say the name of this cake was?
Miss Judith Buttz: Southern Comfort.
Operator 14: Yes, ma'am. Uh, tastes like Southern Comforter.
Operator 14: [eating the cake that contains an oven mitt] How's yours taste?
Operator 15: Like a mattress.
Operator 14: Want mine?
Operator 15: I'm stuffed now.
[Curly has accidentally burned a piece of paper containing information about the Confederacy's movements]
Operator 14: Do you know what that paper was?
Operator 15: Hot?
[Moe slaps Curly]
Operator 15: Oh, my baby! What have they done with my child?
Col. Buttz: But, Mrs. Dodge, I, uh, I, we...
Operator 14: There, there. Don't worry Dixie-Lou, I'll get him.
Operator 14: Her.
Operator 14: IT!
Operator 15: Do you think they'll ever find him?
Operator 14: [Arrives with a bundle] Here, honey.
Operator 15: [Shudders] Where did you find it?
Operator 14: He was walking down by the railroad.
Maj. 'Bloodhound' Filbert: Alone?
Operator 14: No, I was with her.
Operator 14: By the way, Colonel, I think we ought to have about 75,000 men down here.
Col. Buttz: Oh, don't make me laugh. We've only got 19,000! Ha ha ha, oh yeah! Ha ha ha ha!
[Operator 14 writes on a piece of paper: "19,000 men."]
Operator 12: But I reckon we ought to have about 350 heavy pieces of artillery, don't you think?
Col. Buttz: Ah, that's where we've fooled 'em! We've only got 18 pieces!
[Operator 14 writes on a piece of paper: "18 big guns."]
Operator 12: Operator 12: 18 pieces? A mere handful!
Operator 15: All Union soldiers are now wearing Union underwear! Think of it!
[everyone raises their glasses in toast]
Confederate officers: Here's to the success of our cause!
Union spies: And here's to the success of OUR cause!