Miss Pacific Fleet (1935)
Landlady: Sorry for protruding, Mr. Wiggins, but you're wanted on the phone.
Mr. J. August Freytag: Our plans for our beauty contest are well at hand. So, to decide the Navy's most favorite young woman, each vote to be represented by each 10 cent purchase of merchandise.
Mr. Winch, Chewing Gum Manufacturer: Please, Mr. Freytag.
Mr. J. August Freytag: What do you want? What? What is it, eh, Mr. eh, eh, Mr. Squish?
Mr. Winch, Chewing Gum Manufacturer: Winch, is the name.
Mr. J. August Freytag: Winch. Alright, go ahead.
Mr. Winch, Chewing Gum Manufacturer: Why not make it one vote for every nickel? I sell chewing gum.
Mr. J. August Freytag: Yes. What is it?
Miss LeMay, Freytag's Secretary: Mr. Freytag, your wife's on the phone, she wants to give you a kiss.
Mr. J. August Freytag: You take it and I'll get it from you later.
Mr. J. August Freytag: Hello, angel.
Sadie Freytag: Don't soft soap me. You've got women up there, haven't you August.
Sadie Freytag: Oh, you, you worm! I'll come down there and kick your pants off!
[Slams down the phone]
Mr. J. August Freytag: Oh, that's very sweet of you dear. I'll do the same thing for you some day.
Mr. J. August Freytag: Do you mind if I telephone my wife?
Bernard 'Kewpie' Wiggins: No, she ain't my wife.
Mr. J. August Freytag: Yeah, congratulations.
Mr. J. August Freytag: Mr. Wiggins, I want you to meet Mrs. Freytag, she's a very charming woman. Mrs. Freytag, Mr Wiggins. Mr Wiggins, Mrs. Freytag.
Bernard 'Kewpie' Wiggins: Hiya Toots!
[Phone slams down]
Bernard 'Kewpie' Wiggins: Hey, what's the idea? She hung up right away.
Mr. J. August Freytag: It's a habit I'd wish she'd cultivate.
Mr. J. August Freytag: Woo-woo-woo-woo.
Gloria Fay: I'll be there in a jiffy. Throw your anchor on the couch and turn on the radio.
Policeman Arresting Gloria: Mr. Freytag, I'm sorry. I didn't recognize you.
Mr. J. August Freytag: I'm a victim of a frame up.
Gloria Fay: You are not! This is all a mistake. I was expecting somebody else.
Mr. J. August Freytag: Your intentions were certainly not honorable.
Gloria Fay: They were to! I'm a respectable citizen. I was expecting a gentlemen, not him!
Policeman Arresting Gloria: Oh, you were, were you. Well, you better tell that to the judge. He's a good listener. Get your duds.
Gloria Fay: I'll fix you for this, Mr. Fried Egg!
Mr. J. August Freytag: Freytag.
Gloria Fay: You're still a fried egg to me!
Mae O'Brien: Oh, Gloria.
Gloria Fay: What kept you so long?
Mae O'Brien: Honest to Pete, I got here as soon as I could.
Gloria Fay: What'd you do? Race a snail over?
Mae O'Brien: How was the judge to you?
Gloria Fay: Swell. He treated me like a robbed a gas station.
Mae O'Brien: What'd he book you for?
Gloria Fay: Conspiracy. What'd you think, manslaughter?
Mae O'Brien: What'd he give you?
Gloria Fay: 30 days in jail or a 100 dollar fine.
Mae O'Brien: Look, you leave everything to me, see.
Gloria Fay: Yeah, and end up in the chair. No thanks.
Mae O'Brien: I'm going to see the judge. And when I get through with him, you'll either be out or I'll be in.
Gloria Fay: Don't do it. I know another way to waste your time to better advantage.
Mae O'Brien: How?
Gloria Fay: Try to raise a 100.
Mae O'Brien: I've got as much chance raising a war debt.
Gloria Fay: Well, so long, I'll see you in four weeks.
Mae O'Brien: Now, wait. Wait. I've got an idea. You keep your chin up, see.
Gloria Fay: What for? To lead with?
Mae O'Brien: I'm going to have you on the sidewalk in one hour.
Gloria Fay: With the fleet in, that sure sounds rosy.
Bernard 'Kewpie' Wiggins: Hey, haven't you girls got any bananas in the house?
Mae O'Brien: How do you like that, he's complaining. Kewpie, you're the kind of a guy that takes a lollipop away from a baby and then kicks because its the wrong flavor.
Gloria Fay: Don't look now, but, there's something awfully cute sitting over there that's been blinking at me for the last five minutes.
Mae O'Brien: Oh, not bad looking.
Gloria Fay: That's what makes me nervous. I know my weakness.
Bernard 'Kewpie' Wiggins: Look, Vergie. You might as well go right back to Seattle.
Virginia 'Vergie' Matthews: Oh, Mr. Smith, you liked me up north.
Bernard 'Kewpie' Wiggins: Yeah, but you're down south now.
Gloria Fay: Riding on water always has a funny affect on me.
Sergeant Tom Foster: What affect?
Gloria Fay: Makes me feel kinda droopy.
Sergeant Tom Foster: Ha-ha-ha. You don't look droopy.
Gloria Fay: Oh, I don't mean droopy-droopy. I mean dreamy-droopy.
Gloria Fay: All our lives, let's be dreamy-droopy.
Sergeant Tom Foster: I make 104 dollars and 60 cents a month.
Gloria Fay: That's plenty.
Sergeant Tom Foster: I'm going to get a pension too.
Gloria Fay: When?
Sergeant Tom Foster: April 1953. Only 18 years. We have an awful lot to look forward to.
Gloria Fay: We're going to have an awful lot to look forward to.
Clarence 'Dutch': After all, Champ, you're going to fight with your mitts, ain't ya?
Bernard 'Kewpie' Wiggins: Well, what do you think I'm going to use? A slingshot? What am I? Samson and Delilah or something?
Clarence 'Dutch': What's Samson and Delilah got to do with a slingshot?
Bernard 'Kewpie' Wiggins: That just goes to show what you know about bible history. Samson with his slingshot slewed Delilah.
Clarence 'Dutch': That said, don't try to tell me that I don't know my bible-cal history.
Bernard 'Kewpie' Wiggins: I'm tellin' ya, Samson slew Delilah with a jaw-bone of mule, I'm tellin' ya. Wait a minute, who cut off who's whiskers to make him lose his strength? Answer me, that.
Clarence 'Dutch': Now, I guess you're going to tell me that Delilah worked in the beauty parlor.
Mae O'Brien: Oh, supposing you got a black eye? How would you look?
Bernard 'Kewpie' Wiggins: Out of the other one.
Sadie Freytag: Annie! Annie!
Annie, Sadie's Maid: I heard you the first time.
Sadie Freytag: Is that boyfriend of yours out of jail yet?
Annie, Sadie's Maid: You mean Nick or Elmer?
Sadie Freytag: I mean the good-looking one. The one with the scar.
Annie, Sadie's Maid: That's Nick. Yeah, he's out on parole again.
Sadie Freytag: Is he working?
Annie, Sadie's Maid: Just me.