It's a Gift (1934)
Harry Payne Bosterly: You're drunk!
Harold: And you're crazy. But I'll be sober tomorrow and you'll be crazy for the rest of your life.
[at breakfast, Norman takes the plate of bacon before Harold can get it]
Harold: Hey, put it down!
Norman: What's the matter, Pop? Don'tcha love me anymore?
Harold: [he raises his hand to hit Norman] Certainly I love you.
Amelia: Don't you strike that child!
Harold: Well, he's not gonna tell me I don't love him.
[Harold has slipped on a skate]
Norman: Ha ha. Do it again, Pop.
Harold: Shut up!
Amelia: Hurt yourself, Dear?
Harold: Shut... Umm no, Dear.
Amelia: Oh, look what you've done!
Harold: She ran right in front of the car!
Amelia: Why, it's a statue, you idiot. It's a Venus de Milo.
Amelia: Seems pretty strange someone would call you from a maternity hospital in the middle of the night.
Harold: They didn't call me from a maternity hospital. They called thinking this was the maternity hospital.
Norman: Hey Pop, who ya think is dying?
Harold: Dying what?
Norman: Uncle Bean is dying!
Harold: Well you don't have to spit in my eye do ya?
Mother: Just use your own judgment.
Daughter: You tell me where to go.
Harold: [muttering] I'd like to tell you both where to go.
Harold: [seeing Everett has stood by, allowing the toddler Elwood to open the spigot on the molasses barrel] What did you let him turn the molasses on for?
Everett: I told him I wouldn't do it if I was him.
Harold: You told him you wouldn't do it if you was him. Get him outta here!
[Harold ripped a pillow playing with the dog]
Amelia: Those were my mother's feathers!
Harold: Never knew your mother had feathers.
Insurance Salesman: How old are you?
Harold: None of your business.
Insurance Salesman: I'd say you were a man about 50.
Harold: You would say that.
Insurance Salesman: Do you know a man by the name of LaFong? Carl LaFong? Capital L, small a, Capital F, small o, small n, small g. LaFong. Carl LaFong.
Harold: No, I don't know Carl LaFong - capital L, small a, capital F, small o, small n, small g. And if I did know Carl LaFong, I wouldn't admit it!
Harold: Ah, crackers. Good old crackers. That was a smart thing of me to bring those crackers along, wasn't it?
Insurance Salesman: If you should live to be 100...
[Harold chases him off the deck]
Harold: And suppose I live to be 200, I'll get a velocipede!
Harold: This sun dial is ten minutes slow.
Amelia: Yes, the sun is wrong but your watch is right, of course.
Amelia: Why were you sitting there like a stone image when those men were insulting me?
Harold: I was just waiting for one of 'em to say something to me.
Mrs. Dunk: What do you have in the way of steaks?
Harold: Nothing in the way of steaks, I can get right to them.
Harold: [after being struck on the nose by a cluster of grapes dropped by Baby Dunk] Shades of Bacchus!
Mildred Bissonette: I never knew such an ungrateful father!
Harold: Listen, you've all got to realize one thing, that I am the Master of this house.
Amelia: [Calling from another part of the house] Harold!
Harold: Yes dear!
Amelia: I don't know why it is that every time I want to talk to you, you're off in some other part of the house! I have to shout! Shout! Shout! No wonder the neighbors know all about our private affairs. I give them enough opportunity as it is to find out what's going on, without you running away as if I had the small pox or something. Every time I open my mouth...
[Harold slips out of the house]
Mrs. Dunk: I'll take two pounds of round steak.
Harold: Off the rump?
Mrs. Dunk: Yes.
Harold: Two round off the rump.
Amelia: The only real money you'll ever have and you throw it away before you get your hands on a penny of it! What are you lying there for?
Harold: I'm tired.
Amelia: Why don't you go to bed?
Harold: I thought I'd lie down and take a little nap first.
Amelia: As I was saying - are you listening to me?
Harold: Eh, yes dear, yes dear, yes dear.
Amelia: For twenty years, I've struggled to make a home for you and the children.
Harold: That's right dear.
Amelia: Slaving day-in, day-out, to make both ends meet. Sometimes I don't know which way to turn.
Harold: Eh, turn over on your right side, dear. Sleeping on your left side's bad for the heart.
Mildred Bissonette: Dad, quick! Mother's fainted!
Harold: Huh? Oh, here, here. Give her some of this reviver.
[Mildred gives her Mother some of Harold's hooch]
Harold: Doesn't it taste good?
Amelia: [Amelia's revived] Oh, you're an old idiot. But, I can't help loving you.
Harold: Give her another drink.