The Gay Divorcee (1934)
Waiter: Professor Brown, he's a geologist. Him and his wife stopped at the last place I worked. Do you know sir, it was Professor Brown who told me that this sea coast 'round here is really a... an igneous intrusion.
Guy Holden: You know, you're somewhat of an igneous intrusion yourself.
Waiter: Oh thank you sir!
Tonetti: [unable to remember his passphrase "Chance is a fool's name for fate," Tonettie repeatedly muffs it] Chance is the foolish name for fate. / Give me a name for chance and I am a fool. / Fate is a foolish thing to take chances with. / I am a fate to take foolish chances with. / Chances are that fate is foolish. / Fate is the foolish thing. Take a chance.
Mimi Glossop: I hope you like what I ordered. I've never had breakfast with two men before.
Guy Holden: I've tried it. It's no fun.
Aunt Hortense: You know, you're beginning to fascinate me, and I resent that in any man.
Egbert Fitzgerald: Guy, you're not pining for that girl!
Guy Holden: Pining? Men don't pine. Girls pine. Men just... suffer.
Tonetti: Your wife is safe with Tonetti, He prefers spaghetti
Mimi Glossop: Oh, here you are Hortense. I've just had the most embarrassing experience. A man tore my dress off!
Aunt Hortense: My goodness! Anyone we know?
Aunt Hortense: [Going with Mimi to check into the hotel] Oh, Egbert, are you coming with us?
Egbert Fitzgerald: What? Hortense, oh my. You can't remain with her. This is supposed to be a clandestine affair. You can't have a clandestine affair between three people!
Aunt Hortense: [laughing] Oh, that's what you say!
Guy Holden: I was chasing you, you shouldn't run away like that.
Mimi Glossop: Why not?
Guy Holden: It's bad for my health.
Mimi: I don't care what you did as a boy.
Guy: Well, I did nothing as a girl, so there goes my childhood.
Guy Holden: [singing and skipping in a circle] The husband is coming! Hooray! Hooray!
Guy Holden: Can I offer you anything? Frosted chocolate? Cointreau? Benedictine? Marriage?
Mimi Glossop: What was that last one?
Guy Holden: Benedictine?
Mimi Glossop: No, the one after that.
Guy Holden: Oh, marriage?
Mimi Glossop: Do you always propose marriage as casually as that?
Guy Holden: There is nothing casual about it. In fact, I've given it long and sincere thought.
The Waiter: Whumsical is more Whimsical than Whamsical.
Egbert Fitzgerald: Your life, Mr. Tonetti, must be full of excitement.
Tonetti: Full of excitement, and full of danger.
Egbert Fitzgerald: Oh, yes, of course... from the husbands.
Tonetti: No, from the ladies.
Egbert Fitzgerald: Oh, how interesting!
Tonetti: But, Tonetti, he know what to do. Yes, sometimes, the lady and I have the conversation... somtimes, I play the concertina... sometimes, I play the solitaire... but, mostly, I practice my singing. At home, my wife, he do not like me to sing.
Egbert Fitzgerald: Unquestionably a woman of great perspicacity.
Tonetti: Oh, si, si, signor, you bet!
Tonetti: Rodolfo Tonetti at your service.
Egbert Fitzgerald: Yes... well, I am Mr. Fitzgerald.
Tonetti: Mr. Fitzgerald?
Tonetti: Oh, I'm delightful!
Egbert Fitzgerald: Oh, I shouldn't doubt it, old man, I shouldn't doubt it. But, don't you think that a corespondent ought to come to work quieter? Let's have more repose and less Rigoletto.
Tonetti: Ha, I am ready for action, and I will do a first-class job.
Egbert Fitzgerald: Well, don't be too determined about it. Remember, the lady in question is very sensitive, and you must treat her accordingly.
Tonetti: Bene, whichever way the wind she is blowing, that is the way I sail.
Egbert Fitzgerald: And now, Tonetti, remember: I want delicacy, tact, assurance, finesse.
Tonetti: I've brought everything.
Guy Holden: [after crashing into Mimi's car] Hello, hello! I've been looking for you!
Aunt Hortense: Be feminine and sweet. If you can blend the two.
Guy Holden: You think I'm going to leave you alone with a strange Italian? He might be a tenor!
Waiter: Pardon, you, you uh rang sir?
Egbert Fitzgerald: Who me? Well, my dear fellow, what is there here to ring with?
Waiter: Pardon sir, that's just a figure of speech.
Egbert Fitzgerald: Oh, oh. Uhuh. Well, bring me a... let me have a... eh, there there. You see? Your figure of speech has made me forget entirely what I wanted.
Waiter: Could it have been that you require crumpets?
Egbert Fitzgerald: No no no, I never ring for crumpets.
Waiter: Would you be the kind of man who would ring for a toasted scone, sir?
Egbert Fitzgerald: Scone? Well, now uh, no. no. Try me again.
Waiter: Well, then could you, could you imagine yourself with a hankering for a nice gooseberry tart?
Egbert Fitzgerald: Oh what an acid thought. Please.
Waiter: No crumpets. No scones. No gooseberry tart. Well that lands both of us in a cul-de-sac doesn't it, sir?
Egbert Fitzgerald: Of course it does. I knew it would.
Waiter: You know I hate to leave you like this. You torn with doubts and me with my duty undischarged.
Egbert Fitzgerald: Oh well cheer up old man, cheer up. It will come to me.
Waiter: Was it animal or vegetable sir?
Egbert Fitzgerald: No.
Waiter: Well that leaves us mineral doesn't it sir. Now sir, was it a bit of half and half, a noggin of ale, a pipkin of porter, a stoop of stout, or a beaker of beer?
Egbert Fitzgerald: Tea.
Waiter: Tea. Ha. Well isn't it a small world sir.
Guy Holden: I wonder if she resented me tearing her skirt?
Egbert Fitzgerald: Well, I wouldn't at all be surprised. That's the usual reaction. What did you do that for?
Guy Holden: She couldn't move.
Egbert Fitzgerald: Sounds very unsporting of you, Guy, really!
Guy Holden: Well, you don't understand... uh... it was an accident.
Egbert Fitzgerald: It usually is.
Aunt Hortense: [to Mimi] I do adore Paris. It's so much like Chicago... It's such a relief when you travel to feel that you've never left home at all.