Dirty Work (1933)
Stan: [watching the ecstatic Prof hurrying giddily away to find Jessup to try his rejuvenation experiment on] What do you think about it?
Oliver: The whole thing looks screwy to me!
Stan: [seeing a nearby fishbowl with a small fish swimming around in it] How about us trying it on that fish?
Oliver: That's a good idea... we'll find out for ourselves!
[catches the fish in his hands, then tosses it into the rejuvenation tank]
Stan: [watching Ollie climb up to the top of the rejuvenation tank with the large pitcher of dark-colored rejuvenation liquid] Be careful how much you put in - - you might make it TOO young!
Oliver: Hand me the eyedropper.
[Fills the eyedropper from the pitcher of liquid, then leans over the tank to drip the liquid into the tank, but loses his balance and topples head-first into the tank along with the entire full pitcher of rejuvenation liquid]
[lands with a loud splash]
Oliver: [thrashing wildly about inside the tank as the liquid in it is furiously churned and bubbled by the extreme chemical reaction from having far too much rejuvenation liquid added to the brew] Ohhhhh... hoh-hoh-hoh-hoh-hoh! Uhhhhhhhh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huhhhhhhhh-yyyaaaaaahhhhhghkk!
Stan: [seeing Ollie re-appear above the top of the rejuvenation tank in the form of an ape - Ollie has grown so "young" as a result of the rejuvenation liquid overdose that he has actually "de-evolved" back into a primate] Ollie... don't you know me? Won't you speak to me?
Oliver: I have nothing to say!
Stan: [in his famous cry-baby fashion] Oh-ohhhh!
Professor Noodle: Three drops of frinacka...
Professor Noodle: [pouring in a good measure each time instead of just a "drop"] One... two... three!
Jessup: [in a cold voice of barely restrained fury at having the whole chimney-full of ashes dumped all over him] SOMEwhere - an ELECTRIC CHAIR is WAITING!
Stan: [in his typical naïve, innocent tone] What did he mean by that?
Oliver: [with disgusted pomposity] I still have nothing tooo SAY!
Stan: [indicating a framed painting of a lake scene] That's a pretty picture, isn't it?
Oliver: [with restrained disgust, but trying to be good-natured] Uh-HUH!
Stan: I wonder where it is?
Oliver: I think it's Rio Hondo.
[distracted by looking at the picture, he absent-mindedly loosens his grip on the tarp he's holding, allowing it to slip out of his hands and down onto the floor]
Stan: [not noticing that the tarp is not in front of Ollie's chest anymore, and so he dumps a load of ashes into the collar of Ollie's overalls, thinking it is the upper edge of the tarp] I wonder if there are any fish in there.
Oliver: [gives his famous "raised eyebrows and tight lips" expression of total exasperation, then clonks Stan over the head with the ashes shovel]
Oliver: Can't you do ANYthing right?
Stan: [in a slightly mocking manner] I have nothing to say!
Oliver: [clonks Stan over the head with the ashes shovel again]
Professor Noodle: [unaware that Jessup is in another part of the house, taking a huge soapy bath to wash off the ashes] Jessup! Jessup!
[coming across Stan and Ollie who are busy sweeping up after cleaning the chimney]
Professor Noodle: Where is Jessup?
Oliver: Jessup? Oh, about 35 miles southwest of Augusta, Georgia.
Professor Noodle: No, no, no - - I mean my butler!
Stan: [innocently] Oh, he went somewhere to look for an electric chair.
Oliver: Is there something we could help you with?
Professor Noodle: Yes! A capital idea! You shall be the first to witness a successful rejuvenation experiment in the entire history of science! And it's mine - - ALL MINE!
[laughs hysterically in a paroxysm of delight]
Professor Noodle: Come here! Come here!
[leads the way to his lab, where the duckling is floating in the rejuvenation tank]
Professor Noodle: Watch! I'm going to rejuvenate this duckling!
[uses the eyedropper to add a couple drops of the dark liquid from the large glass beaker to the water in the tank, causing the water to bubble and churn vigorously. A few seconds later the water quiets down again, and an egg is left floating on the water where the duckling had been]
Professor Noodle: Ha-haaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! SUCCESS! I did it! I did it! And now - - for a HUMAN demonstration!
Oliver: [fearing that the professor means that he wants to use him or Stan for his demonstration] Well - - we'll be seeing you!
Professor Noodle: Don't go - - wait here while I find my butler - - and use HIM for my experiment.
[shouting out the door]
Professor Noodle: Jessup!
[proceeding down the hall]
Professor Noodle: Jessup! Jessup! Jessup? Where are you, Jessup? Jessup!
Stan: What do you think about it?
Oliver: The whole thing looks screwy to me!
Stan: Me, too.
[looks around the lab, and spies a small aquarium with a large goldfish swimming around in it]
Stan: How about us trying it on that fish?
Oliver: That's a good idea! We'll find out for ourselves!
[catches the fish in his hands, then tips it into the rejuvenation tank. Next he picks up the huge glass beaker of dark liquid, and leans the side of the tank to pour some in]
Stan: Be careful how much you put in - - you might make it TOO young!
Oliver: Get me the eyedropper.
[takes the eyedropper from Stan, then leans over the side of the tank again. But - - naturally! - - he loses his balance and tumbles head-first with a loud yelp into the tank, still clutching the huge beaker of dark liquid. So of course, the WHOLE BEAKERFULL of rejuvenation liquid - - over two quarts, by the look of it - - gets added to the tank, instead of just a few drops. The water inside the tank froths and boils and churns furiously, and Ollie thrashes about wildly inside, giving his famous cries and exclamations of horrified distress]
Oliver: Hooooooooooooh- hoh- hoh- hoh- hoh- hoh! Aaaaaaaaaaaa-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah! Ohhhhhhhhhh-oh-oh-oh-oh-aaaaaAAAAAHHCKK!
Stan: [staring at the chimpanzee that has appeared over the edge of the tank and is gazing silently back at him] Ollie - don't you know me? Won't you speak to me?
Oliver: [in a voice-over, as if the chimpanzee is speaking] I have nothing to say.
Stan: [in his typical helpless panicked wail] Oh-ohhh!