Penguin Pool Murder (1932)

James Gleason: Oscar Piper

Quotes 

• Oscar Piper : Oh, Hello Miss Withers, what's on your chest?

  Hildegard Withers : None of your business.

• Oscar Piper : It takes a certain type to be a detective.

  Hildegard Withers : Well, I've noticed that.

• Oscar Piper : Miss Withers, you took the very words right out of my mouth.

  Hildegard Withers : Don't worry, you'll have plenty left.

  Oscar Piper : And if I haven't, you've got a couple!

• [last lines] 

  Oscar Piper : Phooey! What's good looks got to do with romance?

  Hildegard Withers : Young man, have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror?

  Oscar Piper : Sure; have you?

  Hildegard Withers : I was in hopes you wouldn't bring that up.

  Oscar Piper : All right, so what? I'm convinced that you and me should incorporate.

  Hildegard Withers : Are you proposing that we start a detective bureau?

  Oscar Piper : No, I'm just proposing. What are you doing?

  Hildegard Withers : Well, uh, well, I'm just accepting.

  Oscar Piper : OK. The license bureau closes in fifteen minutes. Come on.

• Oscar Piper : [Hovering over Parker's dead body]  It looks to me like a clear case of homicide.

  Hildegard Withers : Heh! I realized that a half hour ago. That's why I had one of my students call the police, hmmm?

  Oscar Piper : [Sarcastically]  I'm surprised you thought the police necessary.

• Oscar Piper : [In the aquarium]  What are you doin' hangin' around this fish house?

  Barry Costello : Well, it's Friday, isn't it?

  Oscar Piper : It isn't Friday for wisecracks!

• Oscar Piper : If that penguin could talk I bet he'd tell us who the murderer was.

• Oscar Piper : [after discovering Donovan unconcious in the men's bathroom]  Well?

  Donovan : Uh, I was just sitting there and something hit me on the head.

  Oscar Piper : [Sarcastically]  It's a good thing it was your head!

• Oscar Piper : You do alright by yourself in the way of vittels, don't you?

  Hildegard Withers : I suppose you thought school teachers lived on chalk and old blotting paper.

  Oscar Piper : Well to be frank, I never gave it much thought what school teachers did.

• Hildegard Withers : All you're after is a conviction, anybody's conviction. I never saw such a man!

  Oscar Piper : How many men have you seen?

  Hildegard Withers : Plenty of them.

• Oscar Piper : Some kid called up and said there was a dead man in swimmin' with the ducks.

• Hildegard Withers : I'd never trust a man who was a penguin fancier.

  Oscar Piper : Well, I wouldn't want to live with one if he kept bringing them home with him.

• Hildegard Withers : Did you notice Gwen Parker's, eh, legs, Inspector?

  Oscar Piper : Who didn't it!

  Hildegard Withers : I mean her stockings. They both have stains on them.

  Oscar Piper : Stains? Good, I'll look into that.

• Hildegard Withers : Oh, if you want us to hit on anything more, just let me know.

  Oscar Piper : Oh, come on back, Miss Withers. I think maybe we can get together on something at that.

• Oscar Piper : Well, I'll be a so-and-so.

• Hildegard Withers : I'm not the emotional type, Mr. Piper, but even you must get a little thrill, out of the thought, that we, you and I, helped those young people to this happiness.

  Oscar Piper : [Looking out a window at Philip Seymour slap Gwen Parker in the face]  That a boy! That baby's had that coming to her for a long time.