Freaks: We accept you, one of us! Gooble Gobble!
[referring to a "half-man/half-woman" who has given Hercules an alluring look]
Roscoe: I think she likes you - but he don't.
Hans: Are you laughing at me?
Cleopatra: Why no, monsieur.
Hans: Thanks, I'm glad.
Cleopatra: Why should they laugh at you?
Hans: Most big people do, they don't realize that I'm a man with the same feelings they have.
Phroso: Don't go out filling your hide with a lot of booze celebrating. 'Cause fun what's got that way never done NO one no good. Get me?
Venus: I got ya'.
Venus: [stops and takes a closer look at Phroso] Say, you're a pretty good kid!
Phroso: You're darn right I am! You should have caught me before my operation!
Roscoe: I'm not going to have my wife laying in bed half the day with one of your hangovers.
Hercules: They're going to make you one of them, my peacock!
Roscoe: [whenever he asks only one of the two Siamese twins to stay, and the twins have to leave together] You always use that as a excu-excuse, an alib-b-b-bi.
Carnival Barker: We didn't lie to you folks. We told you we had living, breathing, monstrosities. You laughed at them, shuddered at them. And, yet, but for the accident of birth, you might be one as they are. They did not ask to be brought into the world. But, into the world they came. Their code is a law unto themselves: offend one and you offend them all.
Venus: She's still after Hans, ain't she?
Frieda: Yeah. Always she's smiling by him.
Venus: Yeah. Well, if she's smiling by somebody I know, she'll have to buy herself a new set of teeth!
Carnival Barker: And now folks, if you will just step this way, you are about to witness a most amazing, the most outstanding living monstrosity of all time.
Hans: She is the most beautiful big woman, I have ever seen.
Madame Tetrallini: How many times have I told you not to be frightened. Have I not told you, God looks after all his children!
Venus: That's it, that's it. Go ahead and laugh. It's funny, ain't it? Yeah. Women are funny, ain't they? They're all tramps, ain't they? Yeah. Except when you can get money from them!
Phroso: So, you finally got wise to yourself, did ya? It's a funny thing about you women. Most of you don't get wise soon enough! You wait until you're so old, nobody wants ya.
Phroso: You ought to be tickled to death you're washed up with him. You're not so hard to look at. Give yourself a tumble. You'll make the grade. Your breaks is comin'.
Cleopatra: [Invites Hercules into her circus wagon for a meal. Picks up an egg] How many?
Hercules: Oh, I'm not very hungry. About six.
Cleopatra: [Hands on her hips, chest out] How do you like them?
Hercules: Not... bad.
Cleopatra: Oh, you are strong. You are squeezing me to death.
Hercules: And you'll like it!
Cleopatra: Oh, you are taking my breath away.
Frieda: Why is it, we women always have stuff to worry.
Venus: Oh, it's always been that way. I guess it always will be.
Frieda: I was saying, tonight you must not smoke such a big cigar. Your voice was very bad at tonight's show.
Hans: Please, Frieda, don't tell me what I do. When I want a cigar, I smoke a cigar. I want no orders from a woman.
Hans: Dummkopf! What have you on your shoulders for heads? Swine pails?
Frieda: It wasn't your fault, it was only the bottle you wanted.
Phroso: Yeah, you dames is all alike. You're sharpshooting. You're cheap! And how you're squealing, you get what's comin' to ya!
Venus: What gets me so cockeyed sore at myself, is that I fell for that big hunk of beef!
Cleopatra: Well, what are you going to do? What are you a man? Or, a baby?
Hans: Please, please, you make me ashamed.
Cleopatra: Ashamed! You?
Cleopatra: You dirty, slimy, freaks! Freaks, freaks, freaks! You fools! Make me one of you, will you?
Hercules: I'm tired of spending time and money on somebody like you.
Venus: Yeah, your time, but my money.
Cleopatra: Can't you see it was only a joke?
Hans: [broken hearted] Our wedding a joke... now I see why it's funny.
Cleopatra: [playing with Frieda's skirt] Nice, nice.
Frieda: [pokes at her with her wand] Don't, don't.