Platinum Blonde (1931)
Dexter Grayson: The last time I asked her for those letters, she made very uncouth noises with her mouth.
Dexter Grayson: Where were you yesterday?
Anne Schuyler: Oh, Stew and I went for a long ride. Dexter, is there any finishing school we could sent him to?
Dexter Grayson: Yes - Sing Sing!
Stew Smith: Say, I interviewed a swell guy the other day: Einstein. Yeh, swell guy. Little eccentric, but a swell - doesn't wear, doesn't wear any garters. Neither do I, as a matter of fact.
Conroy, The Editor: Anne Schuyler's in the blue book; you're not even in the phone book. Think that one over... sucker!
Dexter Grayson: Anne asked me, uh, to come and see you about the divorce.
Stew Smith: She did?
Dexter Grayson: She wants me to arrange the financial settlement.
Stew Smith: Listen, Grayson, I got 106 bucks and 75 cents in the bank. Now Anne can have any part of that she wants, but she's got to hurry, because I'm spending it awful fast.
Dexter Grayson: You don't seem to understand. Anne doesn't expect anything from you. We would like to know how much YOU would want to ...
Stew Smith: Now wait a minute! Do I get from you that she wants to pay ME alimony?
Stew Smith: Now, before you go unconscious, I want you to get this through your nut.
Dexter Grayson: I beg your pardon?
Stew Smith: Unconscious. You know, when you don't know anything - your natural state! There's some people, you can't buy their self-respect for a bucket of shekels! Now I happen to be one of those guys.
Dexter Grayson: We just thought...
Stew Smith: Don't think! Let me do the thinking. Now you go back to that Schuyler outfit and tell them that I didn't marry that dame for her dough and I don't want any of her dough now.
Dexter Grayson: Yes.
Stew Smith: I was too poor to buy her a wedding present when we married, so I'll give her a divorce for a wedding present!
Conroy, The Editor: You know what to do in a drawing room?
Stew Smith: It isn't a question of knowing what to do... it's knowing how to get IN one that counts.
Stew Smith: Yeah, I know those bluenoses. Their ancestors refused to come over on the Mayflower because they didn't want to rub elbows with the tourists... so they swam over!
Stew Smith: Well, Gallagher!
Stew Smith: Ohhh, I'm glad to see you! Hello, Hank, how are you?
Hank: Oh, fine, but kind of thirsty...
Stew Smith: Thirsty? Come right in, I'll get you a drink, huh?
[starts to close door]
Hank: Oh, say, uh, you remember Joe?
Stew Smith: Sure.
Hank: Well, I sort of invited him in to bend an elbow with us.
Stew Smith: 'Sall right, 'sall right, 'sall right, bring him in.
Hank: Come on, Joe, it's all right.
Joe: All right!
Stew Smith: Hello, Joe!
Joe: Hello, kid, how are you?
Stew Smith: Glad to see you, kid.
[starts to close door]
Joe: Say, just a minute.
Stew Smith: Yeah?
Joe: Johnson's outside. You don't mind if he comes in and dips the beak, do ya?
Stew Smith: No, no, bring him in. More the merrier.
Joe: [to Johnson] Hey, come on, come on.
Stew Smith: Hi, Johnson!
Johnson: Hello, Stew old pal, how are you?
Stew Smith: Glad to see you.
Johnson: I'm glad to see you.
Stew Smith: Come on in, come on in.
[starts to close door]
Johnson: Say, lookit, wait a minute. I've got two of the boys I brought along with me, they're cruising around with nothing to do... you don't mind if I bring them in?
Stew Smith: You brought two of them?
Stew Smith: That's all right, bring 'em in...
Johnson: Come on in.
Stew Smith: ...well, what's the difference?
[... and the other 20 people come in]
Stew Smith: [to Anne] I know what's wrong. I'm colorblind. That's what wrong, I'm colorblind. I've been sitting here for a half-hour looking at you, and I don't know yet whether your eyes are blue or violet.
Stew Smith: I am white, male and over 21. I've never been in jail... that is, not often. And I prefer Scotch to bourbon, I hate carrots, I hate peas, I like bad coffee, and I hate garters. I make seventy-five bucks a week, and I got eight hundred and forty-seven bucks in the bank... and I don't know yet whether your eyes are blue or violet.
Anne Schuyler: That's because you're too far away, Stew.
Smythe, The Butler: Mr. Grayson has decided to see you; The gentleman from the Tribune first.
Stew Smith: [Looks at Baker] There ARE no gentlemen on the Tribune!
Binji Baker: No use you you hanging around here. Just buy a copy of the Tribune, read it over, then make a rewrite... you can use it for your last edition.
Stew Smith: It'll never make the last edition. It'll take me four hours to translate your story into English.
Binji Baker: Oh, is that so?
Stew Smith: I'm afraid. Take your hat off, might make an impression.
[Baker takes off hat]
Stew Smith: Impossible. Put it on again.
Stew Smith: What country is this library in? Miss Schuyler, how about car fare back to the front door, huh?
Anne Schuyler: I've met some roughies in my time, but you are without a doubt the lowest excuse for a man I've ever had the misfortune to meet
Smythe, The Butler: The gentleman from the Tribune.
Stew Smith: There's no gentlemen at the Tribune.
Mrs. Schuyler: I hope you'll never have a daughter who'll give you gastritis.
Stew Smith: Let's hop over to Monte Carlo. It's a great place to save a face.
Stew Smith: It's like a monkey that's married a giraffe.