Come Clean (1931)

Oliver Hardy: Ollie

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ice Cream Attendant : What can I do for you?

  Oliver : We'd like a quart of your best ice cream, please.

  Ice Cream Attendant : Yes, sir. What flavor?

  Oliver : What flavors have you?

  Ice Cream Attendant : Strawberry, Pineapple, and Vanilla.

  Oliver : [to Stanley]  What Flavor do you want?

  Stanley : I'll have chocolate.

  Ice Cream Attendant : I'm sorry, but we're out of chocolate.

  Stanley : Have you any mustachio?

  Ice Cream Attendant : No, we're out of mustachio.

  Stanley : You're out of mustachio?

  Ice Cream Attendant : [angry]  Yes!

  Stanley : He's out of mustachio.

  Oliver : Mm-Hm.

  Stanley : What other flavors are you out of?

  Ice Cream Attendant : Strawberry... We're out out of Orange, Gooseberry and Chocolate!

  Stanley : Alright, I'll have it without Chocolate!

• Mrs. Hardy : Don't lie to me, you big lunk!

  Oliver : Don't you call me a lunk.

• Oliver : Go in the kitchen and get me a pitcher.

  [Stan goes in the kitchen, returns with a calendar] 

  Oliver : What's that?

  Stanley : A picture.

• Mrs. Hardy : Now you've done it, you big sap!

  Oliver : Who's a sap? Don't call me a sap.

• [first lines] 

  Oliver : Darling, isn't it wonderful to be alone?

  Mrs. Hardy : Oh, it certainly is, honey. And what a relief not to be bothered with those Laurels tonight.

  Oliver : Now we can have a nice quiet evening. Nothing to mar our happiness.

  Mrs. Hardy : Oh, Poppa!

  [the Laurels ring the doorbell] 

• Mrs. Hardy : Get up from there, you big chump!

  Oliver : Don't you call me...

  Mrs. Hardy : Don't argue with me! Go get that ice cream.

• Oliver : [to Stan]  Did you hear me tell her where to get off? It takes me to handle these dumb dames.

  Kate : [standing behind Oliver]  Ha-ha-ha! Trying to give me the slip, were you?

• Oliver : This has gone far enough. We'll go in and tell our wives just what happened. We'll lay our cards right on the table. We'll tell the truth about this *woman*. We'll come clean. Now, you go in and tell 'em.

  Stanley : What do you - what about you?

• Oliver : [repeated line to Stan]  Do something to help me!

• Oliver : Get out of my way!

• Oliver : [to the wives]  Just a moment. I'll go and get him. Good night. I mean, goodbye. I'll drop you a line. I mean, I'll be right back.

• Mrs. Hardy : What are you doing?

  Oliver : Just playing.

  Mrs. Hardy : I believe you're going cuckoo! Just because you have the mind of a four year old child, you don't need to display it. Remember, we have company. Come, Mrs. Laurel.

• Mrs. Laurel : Where's Stanley?

  Oliver : He's in the bathroom, taking a bath.

  Mrs. Laurel : Taking a bath?

  Oliver : He said he couldn't wait until it was Saturday.

• Mrs. Laurel : Where's Stanley?

  Oliver : Uh, he's out in the hall.

  Mrs. Laurel : Stanleeeeeeeeeeey! Stanleeeeeeeeeeey!

• Oliver : Where is she?

  Stanley : I got her in this apartment.

  Oliver : Ooooooo! That's my bedroom, you bonehead!