Chico: Right now I'd do anything for money. I'd kill somebody for money. I'd kill *you* for money.
[Harpo looks dejected]
Chico: Ha ha ha. Ah, no. You're my friend. I'd kill you for nothing.
Hammer: Hey, hey! You know that suitcase is empty?
Chico: That's all right. We fill it up before we leave.
Hammer: I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.
Hammer: Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket.
Hammer: Wages? Do you want to be wage slaves? Answer me that!
Hammer: No, of course not. But what makes wage slaves? Wages!
Hammer: What would you like? Would you like a suite on the third floor?
Chico: No. I'll take a Pollack in the basement.
Hammer: Hello? Yes? Ice water in 318? Is that so? Where'd you get it? Oh, you want some.
Mrs. Potter: Get out of this room, or I'll scream for the servants.
Hammer: Let the servants know! Let the whole world know! About us!
Mrs. Potter: You must leave my room. We must have regard for certain conventions.
Hammer: One guy isn't enough, she's gotta have a convention.
Hammer: Now here is a little peninsula and here is a viaduct leading over to the mainland.
Chico: Why a duck?
Hammer: Why, it's the most exclusive residential district in Florida. *Nobody* lives there.
Hammer: [on phone] You want to know where you can get a hold of Mrs. Potter? I don't know, she's awfully ticklish.
Hammer: Believe me, you gotta get up early if you want to get out of bed.
[the Marx Brothers are chasing each other through Mrs. Potter's suite]
Hammer: This hotel not only has running water. It has running guests!
Hammer: All along the river, those are all levees.
Chico: That's the Jewish neighborhood?
Hammer: Well, we'll pass over that.
Hammer: You can have any kind of a home you want. You can even get stucco. Oh, how you can get stucco.
Hammer: Jail is no place for a young fellow. There's no advancement.
Hammer: I can see it now: you and the moon - wear a necktie so I'll know you.
Hammer: Get away from that tree before it dies.
Hammer: Florida folks, land of perpetual sunshine. Let's get the auction started before we have a tornado.
Hammer: Well, my mother and father talked it over and they finally moved to New York, a little house in the Bronx. And it was in that little house that Abraham Lincoln was born, much to my father's surprise. And that, boys and girls, was the beginning of the Lincoln Highway.
Hammer: [to Margaret Dumont] An empty bungalow just for you and me, where we could bill and cow - no, we could bull and cow...
Bob Adams: Oh Mr. Hammer, there's a man outside wants to see you with a black mustache.
Hammer: Tell him I've got one.