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The Broadway Melody (1929) Poster

Quotes

Hank Mahoney: [after a cat-fight with a chorus girl] Next time I'll give you a facial instead of a scalp treatment!

Chorus Girl: I'll fix you, ya little peanut!

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Eddie Kearns: Hank, did you see Queenie? What's the matter Hank, aren't ya happy? Wasn't Queenie great? Aren't ya proud of her?

Hank Mahoney: Oh, of course, Eddie. I'm glad to see her make good. Oh, but, gee, we ain't never had to get by on our legs before.

Eddie Kearns: Oh, that don't mean nothin', Hank. Those guys are not going to pay ten bucks to look at your face; this is Broadway!

Hank Mahoney: Yeah, "Broad's way!"

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Uncle Jed: [Last lines] It's better to star in P-P-Pe-or, P-P-Pe - or, Osh Kosh than st-starve on Broadway.

Moe: That's a bunk!

Hank Mahoney: Now, you listen to me, Stupid, I'll handle things. Yes, and I'll have you back on Broadway and in The Palace! In less than six months.

Moe: No foolin'?

Hank Mahoney: Why, it's cream in the can, baby.

Uncle Jed: Su-Su-Sure it is. Cre-Cre-Cre. It's, it's in the can!

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[the Stage Manager is yelling at the electricians in the theater rafters]

Stage Manager: [pointing to the stage] I told you, I want a spotlight *right here*!

[a miffed electrician drops a spotlight off the rafters. It lands on the stage with a crash]

Stage Manager: [cowed] Thank you.

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Queenie Mahoney: Gee, this is elegant, ain't it!

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Hank Mahoney: Oh, honey, with your looks and my ability, Oh, I wouldn't steer you wrong. Oh, now, don't worry. You see that electric sign with the fella in BVDs?

Queenie Mahoney: Yeah.

Hank Mahoney: Well, right there, they're going to have the Mahoney Sisters.

Queenie Mahoney: In BVDs?

Hank Mahoney: Yes, in BVD - Baby, they were plenty smart when they made you beautiful.

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Hank Mahoney: Come on, let's get cleaned up before Eddie gets here. I'll run a tub for you.

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Hank Mahoney: Oh, nothing doing. We're in New York to stay!

Uncle Jed: S-s-say, say listen, girls, you I-I know this town better than you do. And-and there are more sisters doing their acts over the lunch counters in New York, th-th-then over the - than in the theaters.

Hank Mahoney: Oh, you're just a crepe hanger!

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Hank Mahoney: Well, we aren't leavin' this town, 'til we get a flash of Babe Ruth and Grant's Tomb.

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Hank Mahoney: Oh, goodbye Uncle Jed.

Uncle Jed: If you wanna see me, just call me up.

Hank Mahoney: Yeah, fine. You're in the phone book?

Uncle Jed: You-you bet!

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Eddie Kearns: Queenie! All grown up and everything!

Hank Mahoney: You see, that sisterly kiss won't be so hard to take now, will it?

Eddie Kearns: I'll say it won't!

[Eddie kisses Queenie]

Hank Mahoney: Take it big.

Eddie Kearns: I did!

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Eddie Kearns: Gee... you were a funny looking thing when I first saw you, with those gangly legs and freckles. But, you certainly turned out to be a beautiful girl!

Queenie Mahoney: Oh, I'll go get some clothes on.

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Eddie Kearns: "Mrs. Eddie Kearns" - sounds pretty doesn't it?

Hank Mahoney: Swell, Eddie!

Eddie Kearns: Yeah, and you can feature that anytime, in the electric lights.

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Stage Manager: Wait! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Listen, toots, what's the matter with the left leg?

Chorus Girl: Well, I've got a headache.

Stage Manager: Well, go on, sit down, take a load off your mind.

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Hank Mahoney: Say, maybe we better get undressed. Come on.

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Hank Mahoney: In a minute, I'm gonna lay that dame like a roll of linoleum!

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Hank Mahoney: And don't forget, we do things intimately.

[Wink]

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Hank Mahoney: Say, you've been asking for trouble and now you're gonna get it! You great, big, peroxide-headed, dizzy blonde, you! What are you thinking of that!

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Queenie Mahoney: Oh, dear, I'm just shaky all over!

Hank Mahoney: Oh, Queenie, will you stop. You're gettin' me nervous now. It ain't gonna be a bit different than it was in Reading, PA and we're going over just as big!

Queenie Mahoney: Oh... do you think so?

Hank Mahoney: Why, it's cream in the can, baby.

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Jacques Warriner: You think it's a good show then, Zany?

Francis Zanfield: It's just an oil well, that's all.

Jacques Warriner: Alright, let's see your gusher.

Dave: Looks like a mine to me, from all the gold diggers you got in the troupe!

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Hank Mahoney: One more crack from you, bimbo, and you'll be holding a lily!

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Stagehand: Listen, Mahoney, we want you up on the prow of that boat. Come on now. Take, get your clothes off.

Queenie Mahoney: Oh, but, I don't want to take my clothes off!

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Stage Manager: You were great Mahoney!

Chorus Girl: I'll say you were! You'll be riding in a Rolls Royce by Thursday!

[laughter]

Stage Manager: What a flock of Johns will be waiting at that Stage Door.

Queenie Mahoney: Go on! You can't kid me!

Stage Manager: I'm not kidding you. I may be there myself!

[More laughter]

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Queenie Mahoney: Say Hank, do you think that's all I'll get to do? Go on without any clothes on?

Hank Mahoney: Well, not if I can help it. But, you don't need to worry. Say you got a lot more on when you ain't got anything - from most of the dames I've seen around here!

Queenie Mahoney: Yeah! Well, I guess I'll go get undressed again.

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Eddie Kearns: Well, let's go and get a bowl of chop suey and we'll rewrite the show!

Hank Mahoney: Well, if you'll write me back in the show, I'd go for a bowl of anything.

Eddie Kearns: Well, you can - get most anything out of a bowl of chop suey.

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Queenie Mahoney: Oh, Eddie, don't be such a crab!

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Eddie Kearns: Why do you let a guy like that hang around you?

Queenie Mahoney: Say, will you lay off him! I'm sick of hearing you crab all the time!

Eddie Kearns: I'll give him a sock in the nose!

Queenie Mahoney: You and how many others?

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Hank Mahoney: I'm going to give her the swellest party she's ever had! Oh, Eddie, I love her so much!

Eddie Kearns: You sure are regular, Hank.

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Party Guest: I brought the radio along with me.

Party Guest #2: What can you get with that?

Party Guest: Why, gee, I can get Chicago with that?

Party Guest #2: Chicago? Why that's nothin'. I got Scotland last night.

Party Guest: How do you know you got Scotland?

Party Guest #2: Why, I heard the guy singing "The best things in life - are free".

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Jacques Warriner: I'd like to do a lot of things for you Queenie. How would you like an apartment, all your own? Say, on Park Avenue? And a car, all your own? Perhaps a Rolls Royce? Oh, and a lot of nice things.

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Stew - Mr. Zanfield's Assistant: Come on, little love boat, let's have this dance.

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Hank Mahoney: Say, what kind of a sap are you, anyway?

Eddie Kearns: What do you mean?

Hank Mahoney: Are you gonna let a John like that steal her away from you because he's got a little more Jack?

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Hank Mahoney: You're a coward! You're afraid of Jacques Warriner! Or, you'd go out and fight for her! But, you're just yella!

Eddie Kearns: You think I'm yella, heh?

Hank Mahoney: Sure, you're yella!

Eddie Kearns: Well, I'll show you how much I'm yella!

Hank Mahoney: Well, you're yella! You hear me! You're yella!

Eddie Kearns: I'm yella, heh?

Hank Mahoney: Yella! I said you are! You're yella! You're yella! You hear me!

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Queenie Mahoney: Listen, there's gonna be no part in your show for that dame! Get me?

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Hank Mahoney: [Instructions to the piano player] Now, give us a pick-up for an introduction and a couple of choruses. And swell to the finish. But you follow us, not us you.

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