The cooties of the German spy system invested the bakery of Louvain, where the baker of the berg and his daughter had lived in peace and quiet all their lives, little knowing that in Berlin the supreme boob of all the ages was reviewing his Boche butchers with intent to wreck the universe. He was a gentle assassin, was this little Willie A'Mighty. He reviewed his troops all day when the sun shone, and when it rained he played with tin soldiers on a marble-topped table in his boudoir. The while he received Von Bethmann-Bowlegs, Von Hindenboig and Von Turpentine. Just then the Clown Quince entered. "Fadder, dear, vhy monkey mit tin soldiers, ven you can haf life uns?" "Lock der door- mine boy got a idear. Vot iss it, son?" "Aw, go on, let's be sports, und have a regular war, why not?" "Well, so long as ve haf noting else to do - but not before lunch." And so it came about that Willie A'Mighty called together the warlords. "Chentlemen, I feel like tearing someting. Gif me a scrap of paper." "I second de motion, " said Von Hindenboig. "Dot makes it unanimous mit me und Gott, " said the kaiser. "I now declare de war open fer beezness. Und remember, boys, I vant a first class var." In rapid succession followed the historical wallop on the jaw, the invasion of Louvain, the jollying of the Louvain Ingenue Society, the defeat of the geezer 's German germs, and the attempt of the geezer himself to escape through the bakery of Louvain's hot oven. But it became too hot even for him, and the geezer went up in a puff of smoke, was pursued by airplanes, and finally made to realize that Sherman was right.
—Copyright Description from Library of Congress