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- Fred has an eye on Allison, the sweetheart of the Sports City hotshot clerks, but she's their leader Evan's favorite. Laz tries to help him, but Evan wants a duel - with each of the non-jock boys. Fred accepts it's time to step up, but resorts to a desperate move: wear wacky glasses, with weird results.
- Although it's their fault that Laz wets himself when the girls practically run over him, Molly and Lily keep bringing up the subject, yet feel guilty. Even Fred can't help laughing before commiserating with the victim. Gus starts smelling because he keeps wearing his school play 'knights armor'. Laz hopes to be cool again by sitting for 3 hours in the mall's Chinese restaurant crab tank. Things 'even out' surprisingly.
- Lily is getting obsessively intense, which stifles and frightens Laz, but he refuses to budge. Fred and Molly tell them, but they persist in playing chicken until they find themselves pronouncing wedding vows at a fake ceremony. They do this in order to get Laz's father's wedding pictures from a famous photographer. Meanwhile Molly hopes to get Jasper now that he dumped his ex, Susan, but he really doesn't know.