1-50 of 83 titles.

1. The Walking Dead (2010 TV Series)
Episode: The Same Boat (2016)
You're some kind of stupid, getting knocked up at a time like this.
When was it ever smart to get knocked up?
If you could just shut up, I'll solve this.
She said shut up, so shut it. You should be glad she doesn't have a sack of gonads to trip over.
Women used to just die in childbirth. And they always thought the world was gonna end. Living through it, why would you just give up?
Sweetie, that was a month ago, shit hardens quick. The guns have gone bye-bye, the food's gone bye-bye, and we got growlers up an down the halls.
I was a secretary before. I fetched coffee for my boss and made him feel good about himself. I spent most of my days reading stupid inspirational e-mails to feel good about myself. There was this one that kept going around. A young woman was having a hard time and told her mom she wanted to give up, so her mom went to the kitchen and started boiling three pots of water. She put a carrot in one, an egg in another, and ground coffee beans in the last one. After they had boiled a while, her mom said, 'Look, all three things went through the same boiling water. The carrot went in strong and came out soft. The egg was fragile and came out hard. But the coffee beans changed the water itself.' You're supposed to want to be the coffee beans. See, to me, coffee was just a thing that my boss would drink up. No matter how many times I refilled his damn cup, it was just never enough. I was at work when the Army took over DC. We weren't allowed to leave. They had to evacuate all the important people first - members of Congress, government employees. So I was stuck with my boss. Not my family - My husband, my four girls... My boss was weak and stupid and he was going to die and he was going to take me down, too. He was the first person I killed so that I could live. I stopped counting when I hit double digits. That's around the time I stopped feeling bad about it.
Where are ya, Magnolia? I wanna bloody up that nice...
2. The Big Bang Theory (2007 TV Series)
Episode: The Emotion Detection Automation (2017)
Oh, so all we need to do is get Sheldon knocked up.
I broke up with her.
So, did you wind up sending that machine back?
You know, I just read a study that suggests new mothers are better at sensing emotions for up to two years.
3. Arrow (2012 TV Series)
Episode: Taken (2016)
What, that party boy Oliver Queen knocked up some girl? I'm amazed there isn't any army of little Olivers running around out there.
4. Friends (1994 TV Series)
Episode: The One Where Joey Speaks French (2004)
So what's new with you, Geller? Knocked up any more of my daughters lately?
5. The Originals (2013 TV Series)
Episode: House of the Rising Son (2013)
Right, you're that werewolf girl my brother Klaus knocked up. I was expecting to see some sort of supernatural miracle baby bump. I guess you're not showing yet. It's Hayley, isn't it?
Elijah, if not answering your phone is part of your clever plan to get me back to this god-forsaken city, then well done. I'm here and I'm worried. Now pick up before I kick in your bloody door.
6. Archer (2009 TV Series)
Episode: Blood Test (2011)
Why should I care if Archer knocked up some dumb hooker?
Yeah, well, since Lana broke up with me, I've been finding solace in food.
Well, keep your chins up, Cyril. All eleven of them.
Oh, shut up.
Let's liven things up, Burroughs. Five grams of junk says I can shoot a pina colada off your wife's head.
So shut up and help me find the nutmeg and I'll make you some "Malcolm X" tea!
Let's liven things up, Burroughs. Five grams of junk says I can shoot a piña colada off your wife's head.
7. Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (1999 TV Series)
Episode: Lunacy (2008)
Dude, you knocked up mom?
8. How I Met Your Mother (2005 TV Series)
Episode: Belly Full of Turkey (2005)
Happy Thanksgiving. As in check out the chick buying the knock-up test everybody, wonder what must be going through her head. Yeah, well, since you asked, a family of mayonnaise-guzzling giants is trying to suck me into their suburban nightmare. And there's a solid chance that I have an Eriksen the size of a 15-pound turkey growing inside of me.
Thanksgiving in a strip club, who's in? The Lusty Leopard has a surprisingly good Thanksgiving buffet. Plus, they do this thing. Heather dresses up as a pilgrim and Misty dresses up as an Indian, and they "share a meal".
And the way the faces of the less fortunate light up when you give them a hot, nutritious meal, is there a better feeling on earth?
Why not St. Cloud? I mean, I loved growing up St. Cloud. St. Cloud is a great place to have a childhood.
What? It is. And we grew up just fine. And we grew to the proper size and then we stopped.
Look, we may have some really big decisions to make in about 10 seconds but right now, I don't care where our kids grow up as long as they have you for a father.
Gosh, I hope you're the father. Just a little joke to lighten up the mood.
9. Family Guy (1999 TV Series)
Episode: Ocean's Three and a Half (2009)
Well, it's your fault for getting her knocked up. That's why I always use a c...
10. Family Guy (1999 TV Series)
Episode: Peter's Two Dads (2007)
But there is one thing, Mickey. You knocked up my Mom and never called her again.
So, Meg, your birthday's coming up, huh? You excited about turningggggg... eh?
11. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997 TV Series)
Episode: Get It Done (2003)
You think I came all this way to get knocked up by some demon dust? I can't fight this. I know that now. But you guys? You're just men.
Fine by me. Big fight against evil comin' up. The more good guys we've got, the longer we'll all live.
I haven't heard any complaints. Well, I have heard a few complaints over the years, but then I just killed whoever spoke up, and that was pretty much that.
Get out of here, all of you. Unless you want to end up all dead and useless.
I like my plan better. Get up, get out, get drunk, repeat as needed. It's just more elegant.
Anya, think. I fight, demon boy gets lucky, I get knocked out, you get killed. True? We both know the safest and sanest way of saving your life was to keep you with me, away from danger. No need to thank me. I'm just the one who beat him off.
12. Gossip Girl (2007 TV Series)
Episode: A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate (2008)
About getting knocked up? I must say I'm a little disappointed you weren't more careful.
Hey B what's up?
Take one "it" girl on a pedestal, add a crowd eager to see her fall, and give them the means to knock her down.
And for a scandal to really blow up, all it needs is an unexpected turn.
Look B I understand why your reluctant to burst your happy bubble but I'm not giving up.
Ok I am giving up. Before you start planning your perfect night with Nate don't you think you should...
You guys had broken up.
13. House M.D. (2004 TV Series)
Episode: The Confession (2011)
Awkward. He knocked up two different women at the same time, at least that's what he thinks he did.
But it could end up causing another cardiac arrest.
What's House up to? He hasn't asked me for anything. He's been incredibly well behaved. He's doing his clinic hours.
14. American Dad! (2005 TV Series)
Episode: G-String Circus (2009)
Eight months preggers. They don't make you buy the two-drink minimum when you're knocked up.
Maybe you should go to fat camp. Damn! Because you're taking up so much space right now. Oh, damn!
15. Castle (2009 TV Series)
Episode: Witness for the Prosecution (2016)
Oh, please. I've been dying to know what you've been hiding in your safe for years now, Roger. And the fact that you didn't knock up Sadie doesn't mean you weren't knocking boots.
We should come up with a secret signal. A little thing just between the two of us that says "I love you."
So how are you holding up?
Don't do that to yourself. We've all been tripped up on the witness stand.
For not giving up on me.
Well, you've never given up on me, so...
16. Castle (2009 TV Series)
Episode: Fidelis Ad Mortem (2016)
The man that knocked up my mother.
I am guessing that you found out something about your missing time, and that's what you want to catch up with me on.
First of all, let me assure you that I have the *best* NYPD detectives looking into Officer Bardot's murder. That being said, this is not going to be the last time that you lose one of your co-workers. That is a reality of this job. The temptation is going to be to remain stoic in the face of adversity, to lock up your emotions so as not to appear weak. That is a mistake. Avoid that temptation at all costs. Trust me. I have been at the edge of that map and monsters lie there. Now look around. This is your team. No one is gonna understand what you are feeling better than the woman or man sitting next to you, so use them.
The thing about interviewing a suspect is you have to find what works for you; your own personal style. Now, some people like good cop/bad cop, others like bad cop/worse cop. But choosing just one method is a mistake. Every suspect is different, and sometimes you don't know how you're gonna go at them until they start talking, because you only get one shot in interrogation, and if you screw it up, a killer might walk free.
How did we end up here again? You lie to protect me, I lie to protect you. I'm not gonna yell or throw around blame.
Push-ups were the answer to everything around this place. Police work is more than just strength and endurance. It's about intellectual rigor.
I did. The bullet broke up when it hit a rib. Bardot's killer didn't get all the pieces. I managed to pull a small fragment from a kidney. I got a ballistics match. The 9mm that fired it is in the database. Kate, it's NYPD, registered to the academy.
No. But I... I need you to be on the up-and-up with me from now on.
A man named Roy Montgomery helped me. He was my captain. He didn't give up on me, and I am not giving up on you.
How you holding up?
Not surprising when you grow up in Hunts Point.
So you forged a bond with him against the evil Sergeant Ortiz, which means you have information on Bardot that his higher-ups do not. Is that correct, recruit?
Hate to break it to you, but that's normal for Takata. Guy's got a hitch in his giddy-up I cannot cure.
Twenty years you guys have been coming in here with all these accusations against old Lucky Jack. Your problem is that none of you ever follow it up with the proof. So unless you're here to buy a pair of crotchless panties for that special someone in your life, I suggest you grab your hat and your books and you get the hell out of my store.
17. Mamma Mia! (2008)
Sophie! You're knocked up?
Somebody up there has got it in for me. I bet it's my mother.
I grew up.
They have no right to turn up like this. What have they ever done for their daughter? Huh?
No, I thought you would... try to stop me. I *know* I messed up...
Heey! Right in time for breakfast. We're serving up the works here.
God, I love Sky and I want to be with him and I... I don't want my children growing up, not knowing who their father is, because it's just, it's crap!
18. Deadwood (2004 TV Series)
I'm knocked up!
Any more gunplay gets answered. You call the law in Sampson, you don't get to call it off just cause you're liquored up and popular on payday.
Against Hickok and this other cocksucker who draws almost as fast, so it's a toss-up who blew Ned's head off.
1,000, now. If anyone in that tent, or the building we put up, turns a playing card or pours a drink or offers a woman's services, you get the title back and keep our fuckin' money.
Some goddamn point a man's due to stop arguing with his-self and feeling twice the goddamn fool he knows he is 'cause he can't be something he tries to be every goddamn day without once getting to dinnertime and fucking it up. I don't want to fight it anymore, understand me Charlie? And I don't want you pissing in my ear about it. Can you let me go to hell the way I want to?
Wo-wo-wo-woah, you got a stage to catch or somethin'? Slow... the fuck... up.
19. Charmed (1998 TV Series)
Episode: Charmed Again: Part 2 (2001)
Well, uh, I think the more appropriate questions is: How does a whitelighter get somebody knocked up?
Okay, why don't you go up and ask the Elders what does make sense, so we don't go risking our lives again?
Leo, how is it possible for an angel to even get knocked out. I mean you are after all technically dead.
Well, that's how they appeared, with you in their arms! I was stunned. I didn't know what to think. They said that you were in great danger, that they had no other choice but to give you up, to protect you.
20. 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)
Who knocked up your sister?
Kissing? That's what you think happens? I've got news for you. Kissing isn't what keeps me up to my elbows in placenta all day long.
Well, that's what she would have said if she wasn't so doped up!
Yeah, but I screwed up. I, um, I fell for her.
Bogey's party is just a lame excuse for all the idiots at our school to drink beer and rub up against each other in hopes of distracting themselves from the pathetic emptiness of their meaningless...
You can't just buy me a guitar every time you screw up, you know?
I'll look it up.
Do you really wanna get all dressed up, so some Drakkar Noir-wearing dexter with a boner can feel you up while you're forced to listen to a band that, by definition, blows?
Shut up!
I don't know. Maybe it is up your ass?
I don't like to do what people expect.Why should I live up to other people's expectations instead of my own?
Then you screwed up!
21. Grease (1978)
Hey Rizzo, I hear you're knocked up.
Hey, they just announced the nominees for student council this morning and guess who's up for vice president?
You know, if we fix up this car, it could be make-out city, you know that.
What's up, Kenickie?
Think of it this way, if she screws you up she can always fix your hair so your ears don't show.
22. Weeds (2005 TV Series)
Episode: A Yippity Sippity (2010)
You probably still would have knocked up a girl, only this one maybe would have been blind instead of deaf, or missing a limb. You would have struggled with your grades, smoked weed, dropped out, gotten your G.E.D... Your brother still would have had rage issues. He would have lost his virginity to a skanky girl, or a skanky girl duo. He would have grown increasingly alienated, and ended up stabbing the mailman or my manager at the Gap. We would be in the exact same spot we're in now.
Normal Newmans from normal town. You really believe we could keep this up for any serious amount of time?
23. The Golden Girls (1985 TV Series)
Episode: Mary Has a Little Lamb (1990)
A knocked up sixteen year old girl!
You feel because Mary went out and got herself pregnant that she's a slut. Well, let me tell you what a slut is. It's someone that gets knocked up in the back seat of a Studebaker at a drive-in movie. It was a Studebaker, wasn't it, Dorothy?
Shut up, Rose.
24. Easy A (2010)
...and don't worry about not making us grandparents. Although we were kind of hoping you'd get "knocked up" so we'd have a second shot at raising kids, really do it right this time.
Look it up big boy.
I'm drunk. What's up, bitches?
I used to be anonymous, invisible to the opposite sex. If Google Earth were a guy, he couldn't find me if I was dressed up as a 10-story building.
I started piling on lie after lie. It was like setting up Jenga.
Give it up for your very own BLUE DEVILS!
Give it up for the woodchucks!
Add so fast. And you also talk like a grown up.
Whether I liked it or not, I had *a lot* of customers. Phil Lord gave me 100 bucks from Best Buy so he could tell people we hooked up behind the library. I got 50 dollars from TJ Max so Eric Ling could say we got it on during Chemistry. Ninety dollars from Panda Express so Brain Dukes could say I showed him mine, but he did NOT show me his.
The funny thing is, the whole time this all was going down, I couldn't help thinking I could have come up with better signs.
25. Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
Bitch, you can stop right there. Just because I have no wish to murder you in front of your daughter doesn't mean that parading her around in front of me will inspire sympathy. You and I have unfinished business. And not a goddamned thing you've done in the subsequent four years including getting knocked up is going to change that.
It was not my intention to do this in front of you. For that I'm sorry. But you can take my word for it, your mother had it comin'. When you grow up, if you still feel raw about it, I'll be waiting.
No, no, no, no, no. No, to get even, even-Steven... I would have to kill you... go up to Nikki's room, kill her... then wait for your husband, the good Dr. Bell, to come home and kill him. That would be even, Vernita. That'd be about square.
Thought that was pretty fuckin' funny, didn't you? Word of advice, shithead - don't you ever wake up.
As your leader, I encourage you from time to time, and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced that a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so, but allow me to convince you and I promise you right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo. Except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is... I collect your fucking head. Just like this fucker here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the fucking time!
Shut up! Do you know what would happen if they heard you?
Oh, so you'd be General, huh? If you were General, I'd be Emperor, and you'd STILL get the sake! So shut up and get the sake!
Y'all beat the hell out of that woman, but you didn't kill her. And I put a bullet in her head, but her heart just kept on beatin'. Now, you saw that yourself with your own beautiful blue eye, did you not? We've done a lot of things to this lady. And if she ever wakes up, we'll do a whole lot more. But one thing we won't do is sneak into her room in the night like a filthy rat and kill her in her sleep. And the reason we won't do that thing is because... that thing would lower us. Don't you agree, Miss Driver?
Now here are the rules. Rule Number One: no punching her. The nurse comes in tomorrow and she got a shiner or less some teeth, jig's up. So, no knuckle sandwiches under no circumstances. And by the way, this little cunt's a spitter. It's a motor-reflex thing. But spit or not, no punching. Now, are we absolutely, positively clear on Rule Number One?
Oh, shit! By the way, not every time but sometimes this chick's cooch will get drier than a bucket of sand. If she's dry, just lube up with this,
26. Star Trek: Enterprise (2001 TV Series)
Episode: Unexpected (2001)
How the hell'd I get knocked up?
27. Futurama (1999 TV Series)
Episode: 30% Iron Chef (2002)
I knocked it up a notch! Bam!
Morbo, I'm gonna whip you up a nice, unnameable horror from beyond, with mango chutney.
28. Dirty Dancing (1987)
She's knocked up, Baby.
No, no. Look, you've gotta understand what it's like, Baby. You come from the streets and suddenly you're up here, and these women, they are throwing themselves at ya, and they smell so good, and they really take care of themselves. I mean, I never knew women could be like that, you know? And they're so rich, they're so goddam rich, you think they must know about everything. And they're slipping their room keys in my hands, two and three times day, different women. So, here I think I'm scoring big, right? And for a while, you think, hey, they wouldn't be doing this if they didn't care about me, right?
Frances. That's a real grown up name.
Sorry for the interruption, folks, but I always do the last dance of the season. This year somebody told me not to. So I'm gonna do my kind of dancin' with a great partner, who's not only a terrific dancer, but somebody... who's taught me... that there are people willing to stand up for other people no matter what it costs them. Somebody who's taught me about the kind of person I wanna be. Miss Frances Houseman.
How many times have you told me never to get mixed up with them?
Because, I need this goddamn job lined up for next summer!
Fight harder, huh? I don't see you fighting so hard, Baby. I don't see you running up to daddy telling him I'm your guy.
29. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)
By the way, who knocked up the journalist?
Wolodarsky, go get the keys to that fishing boat, and throw them in the water. No, wait. They might have another set. Just blow it up.
Do you mind if I butter you up a little before I answer that question?
Okay. Could I go ahead and butter you up anyway? It took me two and a half hours to get out here.
Do you still want to blow him up?
I wanted to give you a heads-up on what I thought of the piece...
30. Roseanne (1988 TV Series)
Episode: Thanksgiving 1993 (1993)
You're the guy that finally knocked up Jackie.
31. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)
Hell yeah, that's because he's from my sperm. See, I knocked up this hot woman friend of ours that I fuck on the side so as to not be all the way gay, but my tubby husband here is 100% queer. He LOVES the cock.
Yo lunchbox, hurry it up.
Y'know, I don't get you, Justice. You used to be into all this girl stuff. Stealing, boning, blowing shit up, and now you're like this little priss with a conscience. It's really a fucking drag.
Well! That was just another paean to male adolescence and its refusal to grow up.
What's up now.
See, here's the pulse. And this is your finger, far away from the pulse, jammed straight up your ass. Say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?
All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little, whiny bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who is makin' the movie... we're gonna make them eat our shit, then shit out our shit, and then eat their shit that's made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all you motherfucks are next. Love- Jay and Silent Bob.
Put the monkey down, and your hands up. Let's go, misters. Do you want to get shot? I didn't think so.
Holy fuck, is that monkey waving at us? Oh, shit, It understood us! Maybe it's some kind of supermonkey. What if there's more supermonkeys up at that lab?
Fuck Jay and Silent Bob. Fuck them up their stupid asses.
Mua-ha-ha-ha! Man, what the fuck are you waiting for? She went for the set up. Reach in your pants and pull your cock out, bitch! Girls like that kinda shit.
Mua-ha-ha-ha! Right about here is where the angel's supposed to show up and tell you NOT to pull your dick out, but we bitch-slapped that motherfucker and send him packing, so it's smooth sailing. Let it rip boy...
What? I've got a wiping problem. I just stick those little pieces up my brown-eye and bam! I get no stains in my undies. What you don't believe me? Check this shit out. Spread my cheeks, so he can see the fucking stink nuggets!
Oh, all right. Well, first, I want you to tongue my bung, while you juggle my balls in one hand, and play with my asshole with the other, but don't stick you're finger in. Then I want to pinky you while I stick in your fuckin' friend's brown, while Silent Bob watches, and fuckin' spanks it in a Dixie cup. After that, I want to smell your titties for a while, and you can pull my nutsack up over my dick so it looks like a bullfrog. Then I want you to fuckin' flick my nuts while your friend spanks me off in the same Dixie cup that Silent Bob jizzed in. Then, we throw the Dixie cup out.
Man, chicks in Hollywood are so stuck-up.
Shut the fuck up!
Will you shut up!
It's a Miramax flick. We gotta bust up some people who were calling us names on the internet, even thought they're not really talking about us but characters based on us, and at the same time find my ex-girlfriend-who-was-killed-by-a-car-explosion's monkey.
Bobby Boy, stay here while mommy picks up the free cheese, kay? Here, this will keep the sun out of your eyes.
Do you know that I came up with the idea for Sesame Street? I came up with it before PBS. The white man stole it. That's right. I was gonna call it "N.W.P." - Niggaz With Puppets. Catchy, ain't it?
One rectal breach comin' up.
What've I been telling you? There's nothing you can do about it. Unless you show up at all their houses and beat the shit out of them.
What the fuck are you waiting for? She went for the set up, just reach in and pull your dick out. Girls like that shit.
Right about here is where the angel is supposed to show up and tell you NOT to pull your dick out. But we BITCH-slapped that mother fucker and sent him packing. So it's smooth sailing from here. Let 'er rip, boy.
Have you seen the price of bus tickets lately. There's no way I'm gonna cough up 200 bucks just to get to Chicago.
Fuck that, I don't wanna cough up some dude's sperm.
Keep it up beatnik. I'll feed you to the fucking dog.
Keep it up, beatnik, I'll feed ya to the fuckin' dog!
Shut the fuck up, before I shoot you where you stand in your pansy red booties.
Okay, here's the deal. You and your men stay up here, when I corner them, I'll call for back up. I'm counting on you, Sheriff.
32. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)
This is your doctor. I have your pregnancy report here, and guess what. You got knocked up.
I am gonna straight-up murder your ass!
I'll give this little cookie an hour before we're doing the no-pants dance. Time to musk up.
It jumped up a notch.
I woke up on the floor of some Japanese family's rec room, and they would NOT stop screaming.
Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite / Looking forward to a little afternoon delight / Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite / And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting.
Tell me about it. I woke up this morning and I shit a squirrel. I mean it, literally. Hell of it is, damn thing's still alive. So I got this shit-covered squirrel down there in the office. Don't know what to name it.
You woke up the bears! Why did you do that?
33. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
Oh sure, no, no, it's too dangerous for you to take on. Oh, no, no, we're brothers. Hey. And then you do this sordid thing with Marge. Fucking her on the boat while we all have to listen. Which was excruciating, by the way! And you follow your cock around and now you're getting married! I'm bewildered, forgive me. You're lying to Marge and then you're getting married to her. You're knocking up Silvana. You're ruining everybody. You wanna play the sax, you wanna play the drums. What is it, Dickie? What do you actually play?
Now you'll find out why Ms. Sherwood shows up for breakfast, Tom. It's not love, it's my coffee machine.
I'd pay that fellow a hundred dollars right now to shut up.
Don't you just take the past and put it in a room in a basement and lock the door and never go in there? That's what I do. And then you meet someone special and all you want to do is to toss them the key and say, "Open up, step inside," but you can't because it's dark. There's demons, and if anybody saw how ugly it is... I keep wanting to do that: fling the door open, just let light in and clean everything out.
Shut up.
Can you imagine, though, if he did kill Freddie, what that must be like? Just to wake up every morning. I mean, how can you? Just wake up and be a person? Drink your coffee?
And then you meet someone special and all you want to do is toss them the key. Say "Open up. Step inside." But you can't, because it's dark, and there are demons. And if anybody saw how ugly it is...
34. If I Stay (2014)
Stand down, woman, you're already knocked up.
Why do I get this feeling you're about to mess up my entire life?
Yeah, well, it kind of smells like Christmas threw up in your mug.
35. The Nanny (1993 TV Series)
Episode: Dope Diamond (1995)
Don't nag the kid all the time. She should get married when she wants to, not just 'cause she got knocked up by the seltzer man like I...
36. George Lopez (2002 TV Series)
Episode: George Testi-Lies for Benny (2007)
She didn't help us at all. She left because she got knocked up.
37. Coyote Ugly (2000)
Violet, that is so cute! Now lemme tell you about me. My name is Wendy and I first moved to New York when I was 21 to be a dancer, but I broke my big toe and then I got knocked up by this actor who dumped me to join the Peace Corps, so for the last 16 years I been raising my daughter all by myself and then two weeks ago, she tells me that she is a bisexual and that she hates me more than any person on this planet.
Did you ever wake up sober after a one night stand, and the person you're next to is layin' on your arm, and they're so ugly, you'd rather chew off your arm then risk waking 'em? That's coyote ugly.
Hey, everybody, shut up! I'd like you to meet my new girl, whose name is... Jersey! Jersey, is an ex kindergarten teacher, and a former nun, who just escaped from the convent, and is tired of being the only virgin in New York City! Would anyone like to buy her a drink?
Go ahead. Laugh it up. 'Cause there's nothing you can say that's gonna bother me.
Why won't you give up on this?
Because I've been giving up on people my entire life and it's a nasty little habit, so you're going to sing at the club or...
38. The Inbetweeners (2008 TV Series)
Episode: Bunk Off (2008)
If Mr Chippy doesn't get there first! What's he gonna knock up, a closet for you to hide in? You... BUMDER!
39. The Bill (1984 TV Series)
Well Weaver was never gonna be too pleased was he, with you sleeping with Christine? Most husbands tend to get annoyed when someone knocks up their Mrs, and to add insult to injury, you double crossed him when he was going after Nick Klein.
You may laugh but he's knocked the crap out of CID's finest!
Or perhaps you left The Seven Bells and ended up in The Octane Nightclub last night?
Everything alright up there?
Are you sure I shouldn't have picked you up somewhere else?
Did Okaro have to put up with your constant criticism?
You've made my mind up for me. I want you to act as Family Liason Officer to the Weavers.
ook. I know you've got all the listening skills and empathy of a breeze block Phil, but that's not what's needed here. Weaver's up to his neck in all sorts and some of his associates will've lost alot of money when Joel Brewer decided not to throw that fight, so, if we wanna find that little girl, we need to know who Weaver's wound up. And how nasty they are. And as you're our expert in all things nasty... low... devious...
Well, I'm sorry Nate, I knocked off about an hour ago.
Right. Okay, tell them I'm on my way. And err, by the way, there are people up there, much older than me.
Nothing as such, Guv, but it's quite a list to wade through. If you want it to read better, you could break it up with some semi-colons. They're...
Only if you put your hand up first.
Not like you to give up so easily...
Why does the black mailer want the money dropped off here? I mean how does he know no one's gonna pick it up first? And why's this location a convenient place?
Yeah, probably in the same building as our OP; how's it going up there Jo?
Right. You see this? When it rings, you pick it up, and you go "Hello?" like that, and then you right down the details. Think you can manage that?
Sorry I'm late, I've been up all night... Dodgy Indian...
40. Neighbours (1985 TV Series)
Episode: Episode #1.6408 (2012)
Yeah, well, everyone knows you were only there to help Kate with Sophie and that was really nice of you but now Sophie's gone, so what have you got?A boring Kate, a dodgy old man and a woman you knocked up and who you don't really like.
41. EastEnders (1985 TV Series)
Episode: Episode #1.5300 (2016)
I can't say I saw this one coming: Super Vincent knocking up his own sister. You have to admit, it is all a little bit like Jerry Springer.
42. Dallas (1978 TV Series)
Episode: Black Tide (1989)
Oh, don't be surprised, honey. I'm sure he's knocked up at least half the women in Texas.
43. Red Dwarf (1988 TV Series)
Episode: The Last Day (1989)
I've knocked up a special mechanoid menu for you.
I don't blame you. You spoke to five people and they all committed suicide. I wouldn't mind, but one was a wrong number. He only phoned up for the cricket scores.
Everyone's entitled to their beliefs, Lister. I never agreed with my parents' religion, but I wouldn't dream of knocking it.
How do we do that? He doesn't like doing anything. His idea of a good time is for us all to go up to the laundry room and fold some sheets.
44. Tommy Boy (1995)
The point is, how do you know the fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes" says the little fairy; well, we're not buying it. He sneaks into your house once, that's all it takes. The next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser, and your daughter's knocked up. I seen it a hundred times.
I'm starting to picking up your sarcasm.
Shut up.
Listen up, you little spazoids. I know where you live and I've seen where you sleep. I swear to everything holy that your mothers will cry when they see what I've done to you.
"Hey I'm big Toms' son, I screw things up, but it's ok my dad will fix everything, so I'm allowed to be a MORON!"
Hey, I'll tell you what. You can get a good look at a butcher's ass by sticking your head up there. But, wouldn't you rather to take his word for it?
No, I mean is, you can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a butcher's ass... No, wait. It's gotta be your bull.
I can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking my head up a bull's ass, but I'd rather take a butcher's word for it.
Oh that sounds good: melted chocolate inside the dash. That really ups the resale value.
Shut up, Richard.
Shut Up Richard.
Shut up Richard!
You better pray to the god of skinny punks that this wind doesn't pick up, 'cause I'll come over there, and jam an oar up your ass.
Gee, it's funny you should bring that up, 'cause I'm not sure that you have the right to be here.
Oh, yeah? Then guess what? Open it back up and put it in! That's your penance for the puppet show back there. And while you're at it, fill it up with gas, okay? I'm gonna go ask directions to our next huge embarrassing failure.
45. St. Elmo's Fire (1985)
I should have had a vasectomy at birth! Let me tell you something Al, you ever have boys, do them a favor and get them neutered straight away. If they ever knock up some little slut, they're the ones who're fucked!
Jules, y'know, honey... this isn't real. You know what it is? It's St. Elmo's Fire. Electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them... there was no fire. There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they needed it to keep them going when times got tough, just like you're making up all of this. We're all going through this. It's our time at the edge.
Yea... ya wanna know what's great? Last night I woke up in the middle of the night to make myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich... and ya know, it was my kitchen, it was my refrigerator, it was my apartment... and it was the BEST peanut butter and jelly sandwich that I have had in my entire life
46. Ghostbusters II (1989)
Not so fast Dead Head! You want a baby, why don't you go knock up some willing hellhound! Otherwise I'm giving you three to get back in that painting! One!
Yeah, we conjured up a hundred-foot marshmallow man, blew the top three floors off an uptown high-rise, and ended up getting sued by every city, county, and state agency in New York.
This is interesting Ray. Remember that Vigo character Peter mentioned? Look what came up
Mr. Mayor, we're here tonight because a psychomagnatheric slimeflow of immense proprtions is building up beneath the city.
Uh yeah. Your honor, what we're trying to say is all of the bad feelings. You know hate, anger and the vibes of the city are turning into this *sludge*. I didn't believe in it either. But, we just went for a swim in it and end up almost killing each other.
Being miserable and treating other people like dirt is every New Yorker's god-given right. Your 2 minutes are up, good night gentlemen.
Stand up! Get up!
Shut up! Or tricksters like you in desent society!
47. The Drew Carey Show (1995 TV Series)
I'm tired of being the hall monitor. I want to be the stoner who gets the art teacher knocked up.
Write down a number you think is fair... and shove it up your ass!
Well, he could just wake up, or he'll need a shock to his system.
Who's that in the office, stinking up the place? Mimi! Mimi! Your butt looks like your face!
Man, it must be weird thinking you're going to lunch with someone and you end up going to their funeral.
Don't worry Kate, it only goes up to six.
I am sick of hearing about poor Drew. "Oh, my house is too big, I have too many wives! I just clogged up my toilet 'cause I crapped a solid gold brick!"
I don't believe this. You're taking advice from Oswald? Oswald who once swallowed a sponge to soak up all the beer, so he won't get drunk?
Did I say get up?
Oops. Clumsy me. I just dropped a pen. I'm just gonna have to bend over and pick it up. Thus, leaving my butt open to a kick, stabbing, or the possible application of a humorous bumper sticker.
Why are you doing this to me? Look at you! No salads, no sit ups! You're the envy of your friends!
I couldn't sleep last night. The rocking trailer kept me up.
Oh, at Drug-Co we like to make the monkeys believe that we're going to turn them into people, before killing them. When they go into that room, all dressed up, there's nothing but a fat guy with a hammer...
So, what do you want me to do? Put my legs in the air and shut up?
That's right! That way... our son could never grow up to be pope! See? I can't tell my parents that my son could never be pope! That's just crazy!
One case, coming right up.
I know. I feel bad for the kid. You grow up thinking your dad's Neil Armstrong. Instead, you get Forrest Gump.
Oh, my god. I realized why I screwed up my life. I always wanted attention. I'm a pity whore!
Actually, I'm glad it's not a girl. After all, what woman could live up to this beauty?
You should come on Wednesday. It's Christian singles night. Lewis is always there, chatting up the young ladies.
I suppose you would prefer some snobby, stuck-up woman you met at a bar. Well, so would I. But that didn't work, so welcome to plan B.
Every time my dad and I got into an argument we made up over a nice cold beer... I think that's one of the reasons the county took me away from him.
Yeah, you're the kind of guy who'd give up his pudding real easy in the joint.
All right, three places come up. The Warsaw Tavern, Mr. C's South Side Lonely Hearts Dance Club, and some place called "We Rent Boats". Apparently, they sell beer there.
Both you and I want Mimi out of there as fast as possible. And I've come up with a plan. I call it "Operation Take Down The Clown".
I don't know. I spent all night thinking up the title.
Give it up boys, because when something goes in here, it dies.
I say we kill what she loves must in life that way you go up a notch.
What did you come up with Oswald?
I say we do a preemptive strike on the neighbors; they must be up to something with their doors and their curtains
Man, I can't believe I almost beat Jay up and humiliated him in front of the entire Warsaw.
Fine, then I'm giving up my job for Mimi. I'm giving my job up for Mimi. I am giving up my job for Mimi. Wow, no matter how many times I say that, it still sounds weird.
I couldn't get her to take off her make-up...
Hi, I'm Drew Carey. You know in all the years we've been on television, we've never won an Emmy award. Never! Can't even get nominated! Nothing for acting, nothing for writing, nothing! We thought this year might be different after all the shows we've did but nope, we've don't have a chance in hell this year either. So some of the guys around here thought if we did just this one special episode, something filled with social importance and big tear-jerking emotional things, that we'd have a chance. And that maybe the emmy people would notice just once, just once in our stinking miserable lives! But I said NO! We're not gonna have our actors hamming it up just to win some stupid award.
48. All in the Family (1971 TV Series)
Episode: Alone at Last (1975)
How do you feel about 'knocked up'?
49. Queer as Folk (2000 TV Series)
There's only one explanation - he must've knocked up Sunshine.
I could fix you up with my sister... Only, she looks like me in a dress.
One. I ended up fucking the waiter.
Don't get yourself all worked up.
I'm half Italian and half drag queen. I'm allowed to get worked up.
Or he shoots off his load and you're bending over to tie your shoe and it accidentally flies up your ass...
Well listen up, now that your hearing has returned... This queer says "FUCK YOU".
Oh Christ, not you too. Look, Stockwell's just stirring shit up. Once he gets elected this will all blow over.
Um, Ted fucked up. That's not my problem.
Why tell anyone? Why lose everything when it can just be your little secret? You see, it was different for me. Everyone could tell who I was from the start and it didn't make my life any easier. I've been beaten up, cursed at, spit on, ignored... but in a way it was worth it. Because I have never had to live a lie and I'm not about to start now. Not for you, not for anyone.
Honey, you'd have to go up in flames.
The point is not when did I change, the point is why haven't you? When are you gonna stop being some over-the-hill club boy and grow up?
Oh, so now I'm the object of your disapproval, too. You and the Nutty Professor get married, in fucking Canada! You move to Stepford Avenue with all the other ersatz heterosexuals, and suddenly that gives you the right to make pronouncements on everybody else's life? Well, welcome to the other side of your perfect marriage, Mikey. It's called gay divorce. Fags and dykes can fuck up their lives just like the rest of the world.
He was determined to leave so he left. There wasn't anything we could've done to stop him. Why are you beating yourself up over it?
I was asked to say a few words tonight. I asked "why?" They said, "Because you're a hero." A hero... Because I played football? Because after a lifetime of denial I was finally honest about who I am? I don't call that heroic. What *is* heroic is standing up for the rights you deserve, no matter what the consequences. And that's exactly what those who were injured... and who lost their lives last night were doing. Or trying to before they were stopped. But they were up against a powerful opponent - hatred. Hatred spread by those that want to deny others what's rightfully theirs. In the name of *their* God, *their* family, *their* country. I guess they forgot that America belongs to everyone.
You've always stood up for me. Why should now be any different?
Later on in life, he devoted himself to volunteer work. It's true. If he heard that someone was laid up, or flat on his back, he'd come time and time again until they felt better.
Yeah, wow, what a surprise. And Teddy was just about to hang up his skis.
He is not all right. A mother can always read between the lines. It's the first time since Michael's learned how to pick up a phone that we haven't talked three times a day.
Remember last Christmas when I came to pick you up and you were setting up for Santa's Workshop?
You know, if she keeps this up, we're going to have to take her honorary queer button away.
I saw you. Fucking. When I woke up. I thought: I'm in hell and this is my punishment, watching Brian Kinney fucking for all eternity.
Since when? You love cock, you love it down your throat, you love it up your ass, you love riding it, and after you cum, you love to fall asleep when it's still inside of you.
If someone would've told me what you were up to I would've fired your ass... if I hadn't had my dick inside it.
I don't believe in love; I believe in fucking. It's honest, it's efficient. You get in and out with the maximum of pleasure and minimum of bullshit. Love is something straight people tell themselves they're in so they can get laid, and then they end up hurting each other because it was all based on lies to begin with.
50. Everybody Hates Chris (2005 TV Series)
Episode: Everybody Hates Back Talk (2009)
I wouldn't see a woman that perplexed again until Palin found out her daughter was knocked up.
Mom, I didn't eat all the dinner by myself. I shouldn't have to clean it all up by myself.
I don't wear all the clothes, but I wash them by myself. I don't sleep in all the beds in this house, but I make them up by myself. I don't pee in all of the toilets in this house by myself!
Because I told you to do it. Now I don't want to hear no more back talk. Now clean this mess up.
Lord, please help me before I knock this boy's neck off. Eight, nine, t... ten!
You're a fool. Mothers do have limits. I mean, there's only so much they can take. You know, one day you just refuse to do the housework and then the next day you wake up, and there's some Italian lady naked in your kitchen at midnight eating all your spumoni ice cream, and your dad comes out and he's, like, "Hey, just, you know, go back to bed. Forget all about it, Greg."
Chris, clean up the table and do the dishes.
Why should Drew and Tonya watch TV while Chris cleans up their mess?
Dad, Drew and Tonya were sitting down, watching TV and I'm the only one Mom said to go clean up. It's just not fair. You raised me to stand up for myself, so why do I get in trouble when I do it at home?
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