35 titles.

1. The Big Bang Theory (2007 TV Series)
Episode: The Friendship Algorithm (2009)
I'm not sure yet. You know, George Clooney has one now.
2. Pretty Little Liars (2010 TV Series)
Episode: Birds of a Feather (2012)
I haven't been out on a real date since George Clooney was on "ER".
3. NCIS (2003 TV Series)
Episode: Model Behavior (2005)
Supermodels date guys who look like George Clooney, or have George Clooney's bank account, or of course the actual George Clooney.
4. The Sopranos (1999 TV Series)
Episode: I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano (1999)
George Clooney, don't get in the fucking middle of this!
5. American Dad! (2005 TV Series)
Episode: Deacon Stan, Jesus Man (2005)
I want my one free kill to be Chuck White. Yours can still be George Clooney.
Clooney, you smug bastard. Stop playing basketball and get married like the rest of us.
Wait, I recognize you. You're that amoral puppet master behind George W. Bush!
6. American Dad! (2005 TV Series)
Episode: Tears of a Clooney (2006)
My dream... is to destroy George Clooney. That arrogant, overrated, memo-writing bastard! He's not even an actor! He just does the same cheesy move every time. Looks down, then looks back up squinting underneath his eyebrows. And everybody's buying it! God, if I just had the chance. I know exactly how I'd bring him down. You see, Clooney's never fallen in love. It's always a fling here, a fling there. Well, I'd make him fall in love with *me*. And then I'd break his heart and watch him cry until his eyeballs bleed!
Francine, don't you see. Sure, Clooney has no cares, no-one that depends on him, but... he HAS no one that DEPENDS on him! But you; you have a family. A son, a daughter...
As you can see, Mrs. Smith we are positioned directly across the street from Clooney's hotel.
Clooney has it written into all of his movie contracts.
7. Law & Order (1990 TV Series)
Episode: Couples (2003)
George Clooney does, and that's good enough for me.
8. Castle (2009 TV Series)
Episode: The Squab and the Quail (2013)
Yeah, you're right. Oh, except for the fact that when it was Bracken, they weren't having a slumber party at a fancy hotel. And let's face it, compared to Bracken, Vaughn is like George Clooney.
Oh, no, Eric Vaughn is way sexier than Clooney.
9. Will & Grace (1998 TV Series)
Episode: Pilot (1998)
Huh! Honey, I don't need your man. I got George Clooney.
10. Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) (2014)
The last time I flew here from LA, George Clooney was sitting two seats in front of me. With those cuff links, and that... ridiculous chin. We ended up flying through this really bad storm. The plane started to rattle and shake, and everyone on board was crying, and praying. And I just sat there. Sat there thinking that when Sam opened that paper it was going to be Clooney's face on the front page. Not mine. Did you know that Farrah Fawcett died on the same day as Michael Jackson?
11. Saturday Night Live (1975 TV Series)
Episode: Matthew Perry/Oasis (1997)
No, it's not. Michael Keaton, what did you write? 'Val Kilmer sucks' and your wager 'George Clooney sucks'.
12. You Don't Mess with the Zohan (2008)
Name: James T. O'Skanlon / Hates: Jews, the Arabs, the Blacks, the Yellows, the French, the Latins, the New York Times, the George Clooney, the Hillary, the Obama, the Whole Foods, the Prius, the dogs in purses, the Oprah, the Ellen, the condoms, and sunsets on the beach. / Likes: the Lethal Weapon 1, the Lethal Weapon 2, the Lethal Weapon 3, what women want. / Occupation: fake Arab for the Walbridge.
13. Nurse Jackie (2009 TV Series)
Episode: Daffodil (2009)
You know, if I had a choice between George Clooney's cock and this cup of coffee, I'd go coffee.
14. Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 (2012 TV Series)
Episode: The Wedding... (2012)
Now walk up to the front of the line like you have George Clooney between your legs.
15. Hot in Cleveland (2010 TV Series)
Episode: The One with George Clooney (2014)
Guess who gave George Clooney a bath!
Oh, I'm so glad we picked a good name for him. Now we can all honestly say we've slept with George Clooney.
16. BASEketball (1998)
Quick, where are those little heart paddles? The ones George Clooney uses!
17. My Family (2000 TV Series)
Episode: A Difficult Undertaking (2009)
Really? That's what I thought! Brad Pitt? George Clooney?
18. Megan Is Missing (2011)
Ooh, and one time, he met George Clooney in person.
19. Thanks for Sharing (2012)
Fuck that. I'm George Clooney.
20. The Larry Sanders Show (1992 TV Series)
Episode: Make a Wish (1997)
What about George Clooney?
21. Calendar Girls (2003)
... George Clooney
It *should* be bloody George Clooney. I mean, come the toss between Burnsall Church and George Clooney, I know which I'd rather wake up looking at.
I only joined the WI to make my mother happy. I do, I hate plum jam. I'm crap at cakes, I can't make sponge. In fact, seeing as it's unlikely that George Clooney would actually come to Skipton to do a talk on what it was like to be in "ER", there seems very little reason for me to actually stay in the WI. Except suddenly... suddenly I want to raise money in memory of a man I loved, and to do that I'm prepared to take me clothes off for a WI calendar, and if you can't give us ten minutes of your time, Madam Chairman, well then, frankly, guys, I'm going to do it without council approval. Because there are some things that are more important than council approval. And if it means that we get closer to killing off this shitty, cheating, sly, conniving bloody disease that cancer is, oh God, I tell you, I'd run round Skipton market naked, smeared in plum jam, wearing nothing but a knitted tea cosy on me head and singing "Jerusalem".
No thanks John. I've just seen your backside and believe me, it's nothing like George's.
22. Mercenaries (2014)
Hell, I might even fuck George Clooney - with a strap-on.
23. The 86th Annual Academy Awards (2014 TV Special)
On behalf of all of us, thank you so much to the Academy for this honor in a year with such amazing visual effects. Visual effects and filmmaking is all about the team, and there's far too many to thank properly but I'd like to mention David Heyman, Nikki Penny, Emmanuel Lubezki, all of the shooting crew, RSP, and the incredible team at Framestore. It seemed like a crazy project, so thank you to Warner Bros., and in particular Chris deFaria, for believing in it. To George Clooney and especially Sandra Bullock, for filling our visual effects with life and with emotion. But most of all to Alfonso Cuarón, for having, with Jonás, the vision of this breathtaking film, the audacity to make it happen and the courage to trust us to have such a big part in making it come to life. And finally, thank you to our families and the families of all visual effects artists. Thank you very much.
Wow, thank you. Thanks to the Academy. Like any other human endeavor making a film can be a transformative experience. And I want to thank "Gravity," because for many of us involved in this film it was definitely a transformative experience. And it's good because it took so long that if not it would be like a waste of time. And why it really sucks is that while for a lot of these people that transformation was wisdom, for me it was just the color of my hair. I want to share this with all these wise people who made this movie happen. My amazing son and co-writer, Jonás Cuarón. Sandra Bullock, Sandy, you're "Gravity." You are the soul, the heart, of the film. You're the most amazing collaborator and one of the best people I ever met. George Clooney, for your absolute trust. David Heyman, Chivo and Tim Webber, for making this film happen. The wise guys of Warner Bros. - the wise people - at Warner Bros.: Kevin Tsujihara, Sue Kroll, Dan Fellman, Greg Silverman, Lynn Harris, Chris deFaria. And the film took so long that we went through two different administrations, so I have to honor as well Alan Horn and Jeff Robinov. Alejandro González Iñárritu and Guillermo del Toro, Gabriela Rodriguez, Steve Rabineau, Henry Holmes, Jim Berkus and Tracey Jacobs. And Christine*. Y como siempre Sheherazade, Bu, Olmo. Y esto es gracias a ti, Mama. Si algo yo por estoy aqui es por ti, y esto es para ti. Te amo. Bye, guys.
And of course Sandra and George, for bringing reality to the unreal. Chris and Niv would like to thank their families for bringing us all down to Earth. And right now, we're over the moon. Thank you.
24. eCupid (2011)
Of course it's not - and I'm pregnant with George Clooney's baby.
25. Family Affairs (1997 TV Series)
Episode: Episode #1.1405 (2002)
George Clooney and a holiday in the sun? Failing that, I'll just have a coffee and a danish, please!
George Clooney and a holiday in the sun? Failing that, I'll just have a coffee and a danish, please!
26. The Cinema Snob (2007 TV Series)
Episode: Grizzly II: The Predator (2011)
Most of the movies I watch feature a cast so unknown that not even their blood cells recognize them. I can't imagine what kind of cast this movie has. Wait a minute, George Clooney? Charlie Sheen? Laura Dern? What, Nurse Rachid? The Valley Girl? John Rhys Davies? Charles Cyphers? Great! This is the most recognized cast I've done next to Caligula and no one has fucking seen it!
Meanwhile, back at the campsite, Charlie Sheen goes off to sleep while George Clooney and Laura Dern have sex. I guess she now knows what it's like to be Jon Cryer.
27. The 85th Annual Academy Awards (2013 TV Special)
I know what you're thinking: the three sexiest producers alive. I want to thank the Academy; this is truly an honor. There are literally thousands of people to thank, so thankfully I'm not gonna thank them now. I'm going to thank everybody personally in the next few weeks, but there are a couple of people I want to acknowledge. I want to acknowledge my partner in crime and my great friend, George Clooney, who... Everybody should be so lucky to have a partner who is as talented and as humorous and who has as much integrity. So, thank you, George. I want to thank my beautiful wife Lysa; you make everything better. And to our kids, Maya and Olivia, I love you guys. I hope your old man's not embarrassing you up here. The reason I wanted to speak first - I wanted to speak before Ben - was Ben is a producer on the film and he is also our director. And I thought it would be awkward for Ben to thank himself, but it's not awkward for me. So on behalf of George and myself, I want to thank you, Ben. You directed a hell of a film. Couldn't be more proud of the film; couldn't be more proud of Ben. So ladies and gentlemen, our co-producer and the director of "Argo": Ben Affleck.
Thank you, guys. Thank you all so much. Thank you, members of the Academy, for honoring "Argo" with this award. I really, really appreciate it. I want to thank my great crew: Brett, Joe and Paula. I want to thank Warner Bros. And I want to thank our great producers, George Clooney and Grant Heslov. And Chris Terrio, for writing an editor's dream for a screenplay. And Ben, I share this with you. You're my brother, I love you. And thank you for this. My wife Allison and my great children, Nathan and Erin, thank you so much. You made this all possible. Thanks, everybody. Thank you. Good night.
I want to say I share this with the other people in my category: Lucy and Benh, and David and David and Tony, brilliant Tony. Thank you for inspiring me. Thank you, Ben Affleck. Ben, fifteen years ago you were up here with the first screenplay you got made and now you made this film that's brought me up here, and it's a gift and I can never repay it. And thank you, I love you. I want to thank Warner Bros. Everybody at Smokehouse: George, Grant, Nina. I want to thank my mom and dad, my friends who prop me up every day in all this. Josh Bearman. And I want to dedicate this to a man named Tony Mendez. Thirty-three years ago, Tony, using nothing but his creativity and his intelligence, got six people out of a very bad situation. And so I want to dedicate this to him and the Taylors and the Sheardowns and people all over the world in the U.S., in Canada, in Iran, who use creativity and intelligence to solve problems non-violently. Thank you.
28. The 82nd Annual Academy Awards (2010 TV Special)
Did I really earn this or did I just wear you all down? I would like to thank the Academy for allowing me in the last month to have the most incredible ride, with rooms full of artists that I see tonight and that I've worked with before and I hope to work with in the future, who inspire me and blaze trails for us. Four of them, that I've fallen deeply in love with, I share this night with and I share this award with. Gabby, I love you so much. You are exquisite. You are beyond words to me. Carey, your grace and your elegance and your beauty and your talent makes me sick. Helen, I feel like we are family, through family, and I don't have the words to express just what I think of you. And Meryl, you know what I think of you, and you are such a good kisser. I have so many people to thank for my good fortune in this lifetime, and this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience, I know. To the family that allowed me to play them, the Tuohy family. I know they're in here and you'll probably hear her in a minute... Maybe not. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to the family that made this film, that gave me the opportunity to do something different: John Lee Hancock, Gil Netter, Alcon, Warner Bros., the actors. Everyone who's shown me kindness when it wasn't fashionable, I thank you. To everyone who was mean to me when it wasn't... like George Clooney threw me in a pool years ago. I'm still holding a grudge. But there's so many people to thank; not enough time. So I would like to thank what this film was about for me, which are the moms that take care of the babies and the children no matter where they come from. Those moms and parents never get thanked. I, in particular, failed to thank one. So... if I can take this moment to thank Helga B. for not letting me ride in cars with boys till I was eighteen, 'cause she was right; I would've done what she said I was gonna do. For making me practice every day when I got home, piano, ballet, whatever it is I wanted to be. She said to be an artist you had to practice every day. And for reminding her daughters that there's no race, no religion, no class system, no color, nothing, no sexual orientation, that makes us better than anyone else. We are all deserving of love. So, to that trailblazer who allowed me to have that, and this, and this, I thank you so much for this opportunity that I share with these extraordinary women, and my lover Meryl Streep. Thank you.
29. The 84th Annual Academy Awards (2012 TV Special)
Help, stop the counter... We bow to our fellow nominees. We want to thank Fox Searchlight and producer Jim Burke for all their good works. We share this with George Clooney and the rest of the cast for interpreting our screenplay so generously. And we also share it, in particular, with Kaui Hart Hemmings, our beautiful Hawaiian flower, for her novel. And on a brief personal note, if I may. My mother is here with me from Omaha and - hold the applause - and after watching the show a few years ago she made me promise that if I ever won another Oscar, I had to dedicate it to her just like Javier Bardem did with his mother. So, Mom, this one's for you. S'agapo poli. And thanks for letting me skip nursery school so we could go to the movies. Thanks a lot.
Thank you! Ouais! I love your country. Okay. Thank you to the Academy. It's funny because in 1929 it wasn't Billy Crystal but Douglas Fairbanks who hosted the first Oscar ceremony. Tickets cost five dollars and it lasted fifteen minutes. Times have changed. So thank you, Douglas Fairbanks. Yes, Melissa, your grandfather's spirit and joie de vivre inspired me for this role. And so many of you here tonight have inspired me. Thank you, Michel. Thank you for this incredible gift. Thank you, my wonderful partner, Bérénice Bejo. Thank you, the wonderful cast and crew. My wife, I love you. Kisses, Simon, Jules, Chloe. And if George Valentin could speak, he'd say: Wouaou! Putain! Genial! Merci! Formidable! Merci beaucoup! I love you!
30. Stephen Fry in America (2008 Mini-Series)
Episode: Mississippi (2008)
If, from the vantage point of my elderly position of a 50-year-old, I can offer any advice it is that it is never too late. That the idea that the door closes and "oh gosh, I'm already 30, nothing's happened" is complete nonsense. Actually it's almost that the reverse is true... That a lot of the stars, anyway, I mean George Clooney... That guy, Hugh... The one in "House", whatever his name is...
31. The 78th Annual Academy Awards (2006 TV Special)
It's a funny thing winning an Academy Award, this will always be sort of synonymous with your name from here on and it will be 'Oscar winner George Clooney, sexiest man alive 1997, Batman, died today in a freak accident... '
Two of the nominations for 'Good Night, and Good Luck.', which is not just Edward R. Murrow's signoff, it's also how Mr. Clooney ends all his dates.
32. 10Terrorists (2012)
I am the George Clooney of Iran.
33. The Lost Tape: Andy's Terrifying Last Days Revealed (2004 Video)
Okay, okay. We're out there playing "Hollywood Squares". right? There's all these dead fucks down there that totally look like famous people. you know, Jay leno, George Clooney, Rosemary Clooney, Oh, Burt Reynolds. I had to waste Burt Reynolds. There was one guy, totally looked like Mr. Tomasini, my 10th-grade gym teacher. I must of shot him, like, 50 times. there ain't nothing left of him... except for his head sticking out of a puddle of red Jell-o! I mean, is this totally fucked up or what? But, you know, it's kinda cool. because I get to smoke all these people but they're already dead. So, I'm not really killing anyone. i mean, is that totally fucked up or what? God, i wish Susan was out there. No,no,no. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna go there. But you know what, you bitch, you know what you did? You took everything! You got the house. You got the cash. You left me with nothing. No. Not nothing, I got her. Got my baby girl. She would've dropped her at her grandparents. i mean, she had to. Please. she never wanted her anyways. Oh God... First... thing... when I'm done with this. I'm going up to the cabin. Going up, getting on that lake. I'm not gonna forget you my baby girl. You're my baby girl. I'd never forget you. I'd never leave you behind me. You're coming with me, okay? God, Oh, God, she's gotta be all right. Please, you don't need to hear this!
34. When Ronny Met Cindy?! (2007 Short Film)
if he'd be so kind to sign an autograph for one he's biggest fan of 'ER', my little cousin. She's thirteen, still have a teeth aparel and madly in love with George Clooney, and, some kind of Teddy bear.
So I'm telling George
35. Umbara Point (2014 TV Movie)
All I'm saying is... this stuff... never happens in George Clooney heist movies.
35 titles.